The Perkster - Ramblings of a hungry fat girl

And then…

2011-12-15T11:32:00.001-08:00

Holy shitballs, Batman! It’s December. Not only is it December, it’s the middle of freaking December! GAH!

So last I posted I wrote about how I was feeling depressed. You should all be happy to know that several IRL friends who also read my blog reached out and encouraged me to contact the dr. Which I did, the next day and set up an appointment for the following week. Promptly after scheduling that appointment I found myself in the ER with excruciating stomach pain, on a Friday.

It hurt to breathe, I couldn’t eat, there was no way to get comfortable and lessen the pain. So I googled my symptoms (always a super awesome idea…not) and determined it was my gallbladder. In the ER when the nurse was taking my vitals I mentioned that I diagnosed myself with gallstones and came in for a second opinion. Even in pain, I am hilarious. Turns out, I was right. I was admitted to the hospital after about 7 hours in the ER and had my gallbladder removed the following day. Best part, my parents had just left a few days before for an anniversary trip to New Orleans and my middle brother and his wife were away in Costa Rica.

My youngest brother if you ask him will tell you he held this family together during the entire ordeal. Big head much? When I called to tell him I was in the ER and going to be admitted and have my gallbladder removed, he asked if people died from this and I told him no (I mean yes, I am sure some have, but this is one of the most commonly done surgical procedures). He said, “Cool, I have to go interview for this job and then I will come see you. Don’t die before I get there, that would suck.” My family is awesome on so many levels! Haha.

Also, when you leave a sobbing voicemail for your bff on her work phone about how you are in the ER and you just want someone to know because your family is out of town…she will leave work and come spend hours with you in the ER and hospital. She will also clean your house, do your dishes and change your sheets so you don’t have to worry about any of that when you get discharged on Sunday. Amazing, right?

The Wednesday after surgery I found myself at my primary care physician’s office, crying because I still hurt and just felt so overwhelmed. I now the happy camper on antidepressants. Yea! And feeling so much better.

I went to Colorado several times to see Stuart and Little Dude. When I went in Oct it was for final orders in the custody battle. Stuart won! He was granted sole full custody of Little Dude and BM is only allowed supervised visits. Also, Stuart is allowed to relocate to Oregon. They should be here permanently by the end of February. YEA!!!!!

For Thanksgiving, Stuart and Little Dude came out here. It was Little Dude’s first plane ride and he did awesome. He thought the flying truck had funny seatbelts though. While the were out here, I met Stuart’s family and he met mine…at a big dinner at my parents’ house the night before Thanksgiving. That wasn’t nerve wrecking at all…pssh yeah right! It actually went really well and everyone had a great time. Little Dude was doted on by everyone so he had a super fabulous time.

AND…the biggest news of all…Stuart asked me to marry him and I said YES! I am so incredibly happy. I cannot wait for my little family to be all together. Oh and I may already have my dress

That bitch called depression

2011-08-18T11:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the effort it takes to get out of bed in the morning is overwhelming. I want to stay in bed and just sleep the days away. Except, when I’m in bed I can’t sleep. All I do is toss and turn and watch the clock. The urge to burst into tears is always there. The slightest push and full on tears will be pouring down my cheeks.

It feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on me. I smile and laugh and put on a happy face (or at least try) when I am at work or with friends. But it’s an act. I feel alone, yet have no desire to make the effort to be around people.

I am stressed to the max. I took a stress test recently and my stress rating was 463.

150 – 199: Represents mild life stress
200 – 299: Represents moderate life stress
300+ : Represents major life stresses, and a strong possibility of presenting stress symptoms.

Again, my number was 463! And you know what my stress symptom is…depression. I am apathetic and ambivalent. I am depressed. And I feel guilty for being depressed. Yes, I'm stressed, but I have a lot of great things going on in my life too. It feels selfish to be depressed and sad, when I should be happy and grateful. Yet I know depression isn't my fault, but the guilt is there none the less.

The last time I felt like this I was in college taking 20+ credits a semester, trying to get two completely unrelated bachelors (a science degree and a liberal arts degree) in four years, and an uber stressful living situation. Along with being involved in campus life and all my other extracurricular activities and working. I did something about it. I got on antidepressants and started talking to a counselor. I took care of myself and I was able to feel “normal” again.

Here I am almost a decade later and the demons have come back. I feel the same as I did then and I feel just as helpless. I need to talk to a Dr and most likely get on antidepressants again. I have a family history of depression and I know it is a chemical imbalance that is only being exacerbated by stress. I disliked how I felt on antidepressants last time, but they did help, and there are different options available these days. I hate the thought of being “dependent” on a pill to feel normal again. I know what I need to do, the hardest part is finding the strength and energy to make the appointment and go. When really I just want to go home and crawl under the covers.

***For the record, I do not have feelings of wanting to hurt myself. I don't think I would be better off dead. I am not a danger to myself.***

Little Dude

2011-08-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

I took a blogging hiatus. Obviously…

At the end of May beginning of June my world exploded into crazy. Work, always stressful. Money, never enough. Falling more in love with a wonderful man, amazing! Having my heart stolen by his adorable son, precious. Finding out that precious little boy tested positive for meth, earth shattering. Helping Stuart fight for and get sole custody (temporary until Oct and it’s made official), worth every sleepless night, stress headache, and tear shed.

Today is 8 weeks that Little Dude has been with his daddy and away from his drugged out mother. In 8 weeks he has gone from a sickly, underweight, scared baby to a happy, talkative, healthy little boy. In those 8 weeks he has thrived (he’s grown a whole inch!). Everyone talks about how happy he seems and carefree. A 3 year old should always appear happy and carefree. They shouldn’t be screaming and crying and making themselves vomit when they have to go back to their mother’s at the end of the weekend. At 3 life is supposed to be easy. There should not be anxiety attacks when you are 3. And at 3, a child should definitely not be mimicking smoking a bong or meth pipe.

I never thought I could despise someone as much as I despise BM (baby mama). Knowing what she has done to her son…she is supposed to be the one keeping him safe, instead she is the one inflicting the damage. Never once has she even acknowledged that her son tested positive for meth, never once. It is always about blaming someone else. Even once her own drug test came back, positive for meth, ecstasy, and marijuana, she still said Stuart (whose test was clean) was the one who gave Little Dude the drugs.

I don’t know what her delusional fantasyland is like, but I am happy to not live there with her. And more importantly, neither does Little Dude.

Oct seems so faraway, when the final orders will be decided. But it will be here before I know it. I get worried that something might go wrong and somehow she will be allowed to get him back. It terrifies me. Then I have to remind myself that she is the drug user, she is the one whose entire family has drug histories and trouble with the law, she is the one who misses court dates and important meetings with people who have a big say in the outcome (Child Family Investigator), she is the one who doesn’t always make her nightly phone calls and then makes up lame excuses as to why, she is the one who misses appointments with CASA to start her supervised visits. She is the one who is shooting herself in the foot and ensuring she never has custody of her son again.

For Little Dude’s sake I hope that one day she is able to get herself together and her act cleaned up and be a part of his life. But for now I am happy with her being as far away from him as possible.

And now I leave you with a picture of a happy 3 year old, chilling in his self made ball pit with some books and a puzzle:

Life

2011-06-18T09:50:00.001-07:00

This last Thursday I turned 30. The big 3-0. I have entered a completely new decade. I am not bothered by this new age. And I think it is because I am in a good place. I have a home, a job I like well enough, and am in a relationship with a man I am head over heels in love with. Because I am content getting older doesn’t bother me.

I am so completely happy. My life is going in the direction I want it to. This new decade is going to be full of greatness. I believe I will be getting married and becoming a parent. My life is changing so drastically and I am excited about it all.

These two boys have stolen my heart. I love them both.

Mother’s Day

2011-05-08T13:11:00.001-07:00

Happy Mother’s Day to my mom

My mom, pregnant with me when she was 29 (my age now). I was her first baby and am her only daughter. I hope I can be half the mom she is to my own children. The road has not always been easy, but she helped shape me into the woman I am today.

People tell me all the time I look like my mother. Isn’t she beautiful?! I am honored to look like her.

Happy Mother’s Day to the best mom I could have ever asked for! I love you!

My Neon Sign

2011-03-25T14:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life does give you a big giant neon sign that let’s you know you are where you’re supposed to be and doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Reconnecting with Stuart is one of those neon signs for me. There are just too many coincidences for this to not be where I supposed to be.

We reconnected on New Year’s Eve. Coincidence? I think not. It was the beginning of a new year and I was definitely ready for a new start, something new in my life. It all started with a silly Facebook status update. I was taking a Wii bowling break and checking my FB (it’s my crack, I admit it) (you’re totally jealous of my New Year’s partying) and there in my newsfeed was a status update from Stuart (who hadn’t updated his status since the previous May…obviously he is not as addicted to Facecrack as I am). It was one of those stupid statuses that are making the rounds, “If we woke up in jail together, using only 4 words what would you say?” I was compelled to comment. So being me, I posted, “I hid the body.” ‘Cause that is how *I* roll!

A little bit later I get an alert that I have a new message on FB. It was from Stuart, saying thanks for having his back in the body hiding and what had I been up to lately. We have been talking every single day for hours since then. He even texted me a midnight kiss that night because he knew I didn’t have one lined up :)

He lives in Colorado and I live in Oregon. Obviously we have some obstacles to work through. But I am already starting my campaign to get him back to Oregon. He is from here and his parents and brother all live here…plus ME! Hello! He makes me smile everyday. He has listened to me cry ugly unpretty tears over the sudden untimely death of a friend. He does things simply because he knows it will make me happy and bring a smile to my face.

He bought me a ticket to visit him in Colorado in Feb. My entire visit was so great. Even though we had never met in person before, there was no awkwardness or weirdness. Everything felt right. He was where I was supposed to be (cue sappy “awwww” music). He was waiting with flowers for me at the airport, beautiful flowers that he helped me wrap up so they could even make the trip home to Oregon with me. He held my hand and told me I was beautiful every single day I was there and he does it everyday still. Every door was opened for me and he refused to let me pay for anything.

He makes me happy. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to overlook him for so many years (3+). How did we not connect like this before. And I realize that the distance is what scared me and kept me from even considering starting a relationship with him. While I am not that much older now (I will soon be entering my 30’s which makes me automatically wiser) I have grown a lot in the last few years. I am no longer scared of the distance. Yes, it is inconvenient, but not insurmountable. We already have my next visit there planned and are working on his visit here this summer.

I also think blogging has helped me be less afraid of opening up to people I have only known online. I realize that I have friendships with some amazing bloggers and I have never even met any of them in person. Why can’t I have a relationship with a man who I have only met in person once? I can. While it is hard sometimes when I have a long day and just want a hug, I also think that Stuart and I REALLY talk. We talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. I do try to stay realistic. I am not making plans at the moment to uproot my whole life to run off with a man. I know that one day when we do live in the same state, let alone the same town, it will be an adjustment. There will be things that he does that annoy the shit out of me. But I am not always the easiest person to live with either and God help him if he loads the dishwasher the wrong way ;) All relationships take work and sometimes being in a long distance relationship takes a little extra work.

For now, I am happy.

Stuart

2011-03-20T11:35:00.001-07:00

This is the face of the man I am going to marry one day. This is Stuart.

The Oldest

2011-03-12T07:30:00.001-08:00

I watched him pace. I watched him crack jokes and support his younger brother and mom. I watched him walk down the hall, alone, where he could sit by himself around the corner out of sight…maybe to cry, maybe to just to recharge his reserves so he could be strong for the others. All while we waited and waited and waited. Hoping and praying his youngest brother would pull through this. Hoping against all odds that this would be a story we laugh about and tease his brother about. Waiting in vain.

As the oldest we are supposed to pave the road. We are supposed to tell our younger siblings what to do and how to do it. We aren’t supposed to watch, helpless, as our 33 year old baby brother fights to survive and loses that battle in less than 48 short hours.

I wasn’t in the ICU waiting room for him, I was there to support my friend as she waited to see the outcome of her boyfriend/best friend/lover’s fight to survive this surprise attack on his body from the inside. I was there to help her through the night, to make sure she wasn’t alone. But he caught my eye. He drew my attention.

Him and I, both the oldest with two younger brothers. I could empathize with him. I knew what I would be feeling, what I would believe my role to be in this horror film if it was my baby brother in the ICU. He was the one who got the phone call from their dad saying he would not be coming to the hospital and passed this upsetting information along to everyone else.

At one point, someone mentioned how much Dave looked like him. His automatic response, “No, he looks like ME.” It made me smile. How many times have I said this exact thing when someone comments on the resemblance between my youngest brother and me? We’re the oldest, they look like us because we were here first.

We were here first so in theory we should be the ones to go first. My heart breaks for him and his family and my dear friend Amber who all lost someone very special. It happened so suddenly and the tragic end came so quickly.

The few short days you have been gone feel like weeks. You are missed so so much Dave. You were and always will be greatly loved.

Ice is one mean mofo

2011-01-23T21:37:00.001-08:00

Here is a great piece of advice from me to you…we don’t bounce like we used to as children. When we fall, we fall hard, and we can’t get up.

A few weeks ago I was over at my friend’s house for the big championship game between Auburn and Oregon. I was born and raised in Eugene, I am a huge Oregon Duck fan! My friend who was having the party…Auburn alum. Sadly my Ducks lost, but it was a fun game and I had a great time hanging out with friends.

Me and M (my friend’s daughter). M is rocking her Tiger bib. I am pretty sure she is going “This is what the Tigers are going to do to the Ducks, GRRRR”

It was after the game as I was attempting to head home that the incident occurred. It was cold and late and ice was covering the ground. I started to walk down the steps to the driveway and I said over my shoulder to Jen, “Careful, these steps are icy.”

Next thing I know, my arms are flailing and I am going down. My feet literally slipped out from under me. I land hard on my back, one step hitting me across my bra strap and shoulder blade and another makes contact with my left hip. It was brutal. I think if I had landed more on my side I would have cracked a rib or two. I manage to get up and am doubled over trying to get air back into my lungs. Jen keeps asking, “Are you okay? Are you okay?” All I could do was wheeze as I tried to suck in air. Once I could finally get a breath I looked at her with tears streaming down my face and said, “See, I told you they were icy.” Then we both started laughing hysterically.

My left hip, two days later. Photo taken by Jen…in the sickroom at work, we totally started rumors as we walked out together That’s how we roll!

I went to the doctor the next day because my neck was bothering me so much and I wanted to make sure I hadn’t seriously injured myself. Turns out I simply strained a neck muscle when I jerked my head as I fell to prevent it from being smacked into the ground. Awesome.

So take it from me kids, we don’t bounce like we used to when we were little. I am in the home stretch to my 30th birthday and my body is not a fan of being thrown down the stairs. I was sore for a week and walking funny. There is only one reason I want to be walking funny and it ain’t ‘cause I fell down some stairs!

Don't Waste The Pretty

2010-12-29T14:51:00.001-08:00

Remember how I mentioned that I met a boy who made me smile? Well right now he isn’t making me smile. In fact he is kind of pissing me off!

We chatted over email/yahoo messenger/text everyday all day for almost two weeks. He lives in a town about 45 mins away and with our work schedules and stuff it was hard to coordinate a time to meet up. Finally we found a time the worked for both of us. Last Thursday, the eve before Christmas Eve.

The plan was for him to come down after work and we would go out to dinner and see how things went. Neither of us had to work the next day so it wouldn’t feel rushed or cut off because it was getting late.

Well, we hit it off, we chatted, we laughed, we had a great time…let’s just say he didn’t go home until Friday afternoon. Ahem, ANYWAY.

I normally don’t put out on a first date (and if I did, so freaking what, I am a grown adult and I am allowed to like sex!). But we had been talking for two weeks straight for hours each time. We talked about silly stuff, we talked about serious stuff, we just talked. And then we finally met and the sparks were there.

Christmas comes and all the crazy whirlwind family obligations. Finally on Sunday we touch base, chat a little bit about our holidays, talk about how much fun we had, etc. It is now Wednesday. WEDNESDAY PEOPLE! And I haven’t heard a single peep from him. What the French, Toast! That is just rude.

Suddenly ignoring a girl is douchy. Especially if there was no indication that he was no longer interested. He could have just not acknowledged me on Sunday and I would have gotten the message. And if I had met him at a bar and hooked up, okay, I would expect to go on my happy little way and never really hear from him again. But we seemed to have connected.

I just don’t get it. If he’s not interested, man up and say, “Hey, I had a good time, but I just don’t see anything coming from it.” Fine, I’m a big girl. I can take it. Would it suck to hear that? Of course, but at least I would have stopped wasting the pretty on someone who wasn’t interested.

And then I don’t know if it is just because he is inexperienced in the dating world (only really started dating a few years ago) (hello, who isn’t). Maybe he is freaked out by my awesomeness and that all this awesomeness actually really likes him (he has some hearing loss and mild cerebral palsy, causing some insecurities on his part). Or maybe he just isn’t interested. Whatever it is, getting the silent treatment for two days when before I would get a good morning and good night everyday, really hurts my feelings.

I am off to read “He’s just not that into you” and then I am off to scout out more boys. No need to waste the pretty on someone who can’t even bother to call.

P.S. Have I mentioned that dating is brutal!

***UPDATE - I did call him out after writing this post. We seem to have worked some of it out. But dating is still brutal.***

The reindeer fell out of my ass

2010-12-13T20:41:00.001-08:00

I was able to find quite a bit of that holiday spirit I had been lacking. I put up my tree on Saturday and put out all my decorations. And it really helped me pull the reindeer out of my ass.

My rocking horses all lined up in order by year

My new ornament collection “a pony for christmas” also in order by year

My tree with all the ornaments. So pretty.

I have opted not to hang any christmas lights outside this year, but that’s okay. It is cold and raining buckets and frankly I have no desire to scamper my happy ass across the roof.

Yeah for the holidays!

P.S. I met a boy who makes me smile :)

Where do I find this holiday spirit?

2010-12-11T10:37:00.001-08:00

I just can’t seem to find the holiday spirit. Usually I have my tree up right after Thanksgiving and I am outside freezing my ass off hanging lights on my roof. I usually love pulling out all my decorations and setting them up around the house. Unwrapping each ornament and remembering why I love it so much. I collect rocking horse ornaments and I have a series that spans 16 years. When I pull them out of the ornament tote, I carefully line them up in order of year, until all 16 are displayed. Then I evenly hang them on the tree.

I am not religious and I only celebrate Christmas secularly, as a time when my family gets together and laugh and just have a great time. My mother loves to decorate and has decorations for every single holiday and I am my mother’s daughter. I usually love everything about this time of year. I love the lights on the houses lighting up the cold nights. The smell of holiday goodies baking. Getting together with friends from out of town who I haven’t seen all year.

This year, it is two weeks before Christmas and I don’t have a SINGLE decoration up. Nothing, nada, zilch.

Part of the reason is because after 3 years, I am single this Christmas. I don’t have someone special I am shopping for. I don’t have someone to share all the memories with of decorating the tree and hanging lights. I am not out hunting for the “perfect gift”. The gift that once purchased I would be so excited for him to open and hardly be able to wait until Christmas day.

Even if I had someone special to shop for, I have no extra money to really be shopping with. At work we are required to take furloughs (mandatory unpaid days off). My budget was already tight and with the cut in pay it has just made it even tighter. I can pay all my bills, I just don’t have a lot of extra spending. Okay I don’t have any extra spending money.

But this weekend I am determined to get into the holiday spirit! I WILL put up my tree and depending on the weather I WILL hang my Christmas lights. I am going to fake it until I feel that holiday spirit tingle!

What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger…

2010-12-07T17:31:00.001-08:00

Online dating might actually end up killing me though!

Online dating is brutal and your self esteem takes a serious beating. You start to feel hopeful and excited by new potential boys and dates…then those hopes and excitement are crushed. By the time I make it through this, I will have the toughest skin and be the bluntest person ever.

I send out winks or messages and sometimes I get a “polite no” and I wonder: do they not like me because of how I look? or because I am liberal? or maybe they don’t like dogs, in which case we wouldn’t work out anyway! And some people simple don’t respond or acknowledge me at all (rude much) Then there are the ones you start to email/chat with and you seem to have a good connection. We set up a time to meet, we go on a date, the date seems to have gone great, we chat some more after date, then…

1. Suddenly the guy just stops writing back. (Um, what? If the date was horrible or he wasn’t interested then why continue to email/text back and forth with me afterwards and then just poof, nothing)

2. We hit it off, discuss going on another date and then you get a text saying “Hey I really did have a good time on our date, but I also went on a date with someone else before our date and we hit it off. I am going to give it a go. I wish you the best of luck in your search”
*I really appreciate that he manned up and was willing to tell me. And I hope it works out for them, because this online dating blows!

I have also encountered the guy who is chatting to multiple ladies (hey, I don’t judge, I am trying to talk to several guys), but he can’t seem to keep us straight. Dude, seriously, keep better track of us. Also, I am not interested in a booty call.

This is an actual message I received:

Hey There

Been lil bored how bout you. Maybe something casual, rip one fool around a bit. Take Care if not

Um, really? Does that actually work? And WHAT in my profile gives the impression that I would be interested in that?

Sigh, there has to be someone out there somewhere. I will just look at it like trying to find a job. For every 20 applications I submit I get 1 interview and for every 10 interviews I get a job offer. So using this theory I only have 1,123,973 more applications to go…

Photo Journey of my trip to Georgia

2010-10-22T11:25:00.001-07:00

My friend Amber and I traveled to Georgia for our other friend, Kristin’s wedding.

The red pillows were my FAVORITE! View out the window from my bed.

DANGER = mini fridge Better view outside out hotel window.

We arrived at out hotel after a long red eye flight. Arriving in Atlanta around 9:30am, that is 6:30am for my West Coast brain/body. we stayed at Loews**, it was amazing!

We opted out of taking a nap as we were hopped up on caffeine and ready to get exploring.

Oh yeah, off to be a tourist on only 3ish hours of plane sleep!

Total tourists that we were, we hit up CNN, the Aquarium, Turner Field, and looked at the outside of the Coca Cola museum.

The world inside CNN Nothing says morning like CNN coffee

we searched for Anderson, but he’s in NYC. But then we found Larry ;)

After our behind the scenes CNN tour it was off to the Aquarium.

True love I see penguins

Crawling through the penguin tunnel

Now we were off to Turner Field. Amber is a big Braves fan. I am not into baseball so much, but I was down for the ride.

Turner field. While there I realized it was named after Ted Turner who basically owns all of Georgia. He started CNN, owned the Braves, started TBS (Turner Broadcasting System) which is why it always shows the Braves games…

At the Braves store:

Amber tries on a jersey and I pick my nose…

We crashed hard that night. And the next morning began the real reason we went to Georgia in the first place – KRISTIN’S WEDDING! It was casual and laid back and low stress, with just family and a few friends. But mostly, it was perfect.

Lunch before the Big Event that evening.

Starting the hair. Final touches and in the dress.

The super yummy cakes decorated by moi. Did I mention they were super yummy?!

The Bride before the “I Do’s” Happily Ever After!

I had a great time in Georgia and I can’t wait to go back. It was my first trip anywhere in the South. Next time I plan to stick around for more than a weekend. There is so much I didn’t get to see and do and eat!

P.S. I don’t think I took one serious photo the entire trip!

**Loew’s was an Amazing hotel. And I recommend staying there. The staff was helpful and friendly. I know I plan to stay there again. And this is all my personal opinion.

Tag I’m it, wait no, you’re it!

2010-10-05T21:24:00.001-07:00

I was tagged by my name twin, E over at Life of a ~~Single~~ engaged girl. She answered 8 questions and then tagged some other bloggers with 8 questions of her own. So, here are my answers to her questions and then I came up with 8 of my own and tagged some other lovely bloggers…

1. If you could pick one song that describes your life what would it be?

*Leona Lewis – Better In Time

As we know, I recently ended an almost 3 year relationship. I relate to this song because it acknowledges how much it hurts, but that ultimately I will smile and be happy again because I deserve to.

2. Your first kiss: Fairytale or tragedy?

Fairytale. Sigh. I was 15 almost 16 and the boy and I had been really good friends for about a year and I had a RAGING crush on him. Then one day after school we were hanging out at my house watching TV. I was eating saltines and he wanted one. I refused to share so he tackled me on the couch as I tried to run away with MY crackers. It was like in the movies, we were laughing so hard, I was almost crying. I took a deep breath trying to catch my breath after laughing and looked up. Our eyes caught and we both stopped laughing and he leaned in and kissed me nice and good J

We dated for 4 ½ years, through high school and into college.

(writing this just made my heart smile, remembering how exciting it was and how happy and special I felt)

3. If you were given a year in which you could do absolutely anything you wanted to do (money is no object) what would it be?

I will say travel. But I think I would travel to mostly Spanish speaking countries so that I could work on building my confidence in speaking Spanish. I love to travel and see different cultures and customs.

4. What is your favorite mistake and why?

Geez, I really have no idea. I haven’t made any HUGE mistakes, but I have had the regular ol’ trial and error mishaps that made me the person I am today.

5. The craziest thing you've ever found in your car that perhaps wasn't yours?

There is always something interesting to be found in my car (I am not all that great about keeping my car clean…oops). I have found CDs I thought long lost, a single shoe, several mismatched socks, sweaters, and even a pair of pants (why am I disrobing in my car?). There is constantly dog hair and empty coffee cups. Old mail too but that usually gets removed after a day or two because I remember I need something out of the mail I tossed in the back seat. I currently have a pillow (this is starting to sound like I am homeless) and painting supplies in the back. Nothing in there surprises me anymore and it is always mine.

6. What is the best gift you've ever received?

Well the kiss mentioned earlier happened a week before my 16^th birthday so that was a pretty good gift. But I would have to say my bocky bocky was the best gift. I must have only be about 2 ½ and Christmas morning I run out to see what Santa has left me under the tree. There in all its amazing glory was my bocky bocky. One of those bouncy rocking horses. There was a blow up Santa sitting on it and my dad likes to remind me that I ran up chanting bocky bocky (hey, I was little, screaming ROCKING HORSE was a little outside my vocabulary so instead I called it bocky bocky, kind of like rocky rocky), grabbed Santa by his arm and flung his ass across the room so that *I* could ride my bocky bocky. This may have been the moment my love affair with horses started.

*please forgive the picture quality, my scanner was being a snatch so these are pictures of pictures.

7. As a kid your favorite thing to do/play was?

Well besides riding the bocky bocky…Riding my big wheel or bike around the neighborhood. There were also horses down the road so I would go feed them apples and try and get them close enough so I could pet them

8. Answer the following question: If I didn't blog I'd probably ____________.

Need a lot more therapy. Blog helps get it all out before it explodes inside. The good, the bad, and the ugly!

P.S. I found this picture while looking for my bocky bocky pictures, of my mom when she was MY age while pregnant with ME!

Now for my 8 questions:

1. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
2. What is your all time favorite picture of you and can we see it?
3. What is one thing you know you should throw away but probably never will?
4. What is one of your biggest regrets? (yeah I know, everything happens for a reason, but still what is something you wish you had done differently?)
5. What was your first IM/Screen Name/Email account name and why did you pick it? (I really hope it was something completely cheesy!)
6. What is the oddest inanimate object you have been caught talking to?
7. What thought or message would you put in a fortune cookie?
8. Why did you start blogging?

And these lovelies have been tagged:

* Lin @ Linny’s Vault
* Gabby @ gabby, she wrote
* Sunshinemeg @ Float On
* Smart Ass Sara @ Sara’s Organized Chaos
* My Little Becky @ I’ll go eat worms

It’s never good when your phone rings before you’re even dressed for work in the morning.

2010-09-24T20:11:00.001-07:00

Ring. Ring. (okay my phone really doesn’t make a ringing sound, but whatever)

Me: Hello?

Dad: Did I wake you up?
*no but it is only 6:45am so I haven’t spoken to anyone yet, the voice is a little scratchy

Me: No
*a little concerned that my dad is calling me so early in the morning.

Dad: Your mom and I are in the ER with Sam (my middle brother).

Me: WHAT?!

Dad: He crashed his bike and broke his ankle.

I head to the ER to see the damage. Apparently Sam misjudged a curb and crashed his bike and ended up dislocating his ankle and breaking it in two places. The dislocation and breakage also were cutting off a major blood supply to his foot.

Some back story: Sam is chef at a local higher end restaurant. He is an amazing cook and can create dishes from almost anything. I on the other hand can microwave the hell out of a frozen dinner. He works late, usually getting done with work after midnight. He also likes to ride his bike to and from work (he’s kind of hippie like that and also likes the exercise).

The night of the incident Sam and a co-worker were celebrating Sam’s promotion to sauté chef. They had a couple beers at the restaurant and then they decided to head to one of the bars in the area for another drink or two. At the bar Sam and companion have another drink and decide to hit up one last bar before last call. Now I also want to mention that Sam was not wasted, he had had about 4 drinks in the span of several hours, but he was feeling good. Between the first bar and the second is when the accident occurred.

He was riding his bike in the street and wanted to move onto the sidewalk. There was a driveway up ahead and Sam attempted to move onto the sidewalk there. He isn’t sure if there was a bigger lip in the driveway or what exactly happened, but somehow his bike didn’t make it and Sam and bike went boom. And Sam’s ankle went crack! This was a little before 3 am.

When I arrived at the ER Sam was one some serious pain killers and was feeling pretty good. He was cracking jokes and talking about how the whole family should go get Thai food that night. He kept asking for water because his mouth was like the Sahara (a little alcohol dehydration and lot of pain killer cotton mouth). Once it was determined that he would not have surgery on his ankle that day he was allowed some water. When his water was empty he attempted to slyly swipe our mom’s coffee, she just laughed at him because her coffee is just coffee and cream, no sugar. Sam likes his coffee sweet, his expression was hilarious.

My other brother Alex had come to see Sam around 5am and I guess when he got there he looks at Sam’s ankles and says, “Which one did you break? They are both pretty fat.” Sam’s broken ankle was the size of a grapefruit. See how my family is…

Of course when I got there I started taking pictures! And you’re welcome.

They were splinting his leg to take him for more scans

*when they were rolling him back to the room after his scans he stuck his hand out to get high fives from all the nurses at the nurses station. A couple of the nurses left him hanging, but it was funny!

He really enjoyed me taking photos

Chatting on the phone with his wife, while wearing our dad’s hat he swiped a few minutes before.

His ankle is going to require surgery so they can stabilize it with steel plates and screws. He is in a lot agony now that the hospital pain killer has worn off, but the Percocet is helping a little. He meets with the surgeon today to schedule the surgery. We are all hoping Sam won’t be laid up too long because, well, his job requires him to be on his feet.

Please send good thoughts for his speedy recovery!

All about me

2010-09-20T12:03:00.001-07:00

I haven’t blogged in awhile because I don’t want to have post after post after post about how sad I am or how much my heart hurts or how angry and disappointed I am. Because those are all the things I am feeling.

But…

I am also feeling relieved, like I am on the brink of starting something new and exciting and hopefully life altering. I am no longer waiting on Mike to make a decision so I can go forward. So I can make future plans. I don’t have to think about anyone else or how they will play into my future.

I am excited to start this new chapter in my life and the idea of finding someone who will be my companion on this crazy journey of mine.

Plus, think of all the great blogging material I will have when I reenter the dating world. Hello!

There are moments where the loneliness creeps in along with the doubt and anger. These are the moments I realize I am not quite ready to jump into the dark unknown waters of the dating world just yet. But these moments are getting fewer and farther between. And my amazing friends never let me be lonely for long.

I have also been taking care of me. Eating better, doing things I love – going to movies, knitting, reading, etc. I am rediscovering me, the single me. And I remember how much I like me and how awesome I am.

Paint colors have been running through my head for the various rooms in my house. I am sick of looking at the white walls. My house needs some personality. I want to make it my own, put my stamp on it. And that is just what I am going to do. I plan to turn my second bedroom into a room for relaxing and reading and if friends come to visit a place where they can sleep. As of right now this is kind of my room for stuff I am not sure where to put.

I am hunkering down and settling in, because the next guy in my life is going to have to make an effort to be in my life. I am not going to be the only one making the effort.

Things I learned this week

2010-09-02T21:37:00.001-07:00

My friends are awesome. Blog friends totally included. Thank you all for the comments on my break up post.

Eating your weight in junk food will not heal a hurting heart, but it will piss off your tummy and your whole digestive system in general. You’re welcome.

Mike’s an idiot (okay probably not really, but work with me here!) My heart is hurting and he just seems like…oh well onto the next one (okay, again probably not really, but he doesn’t seem upset at all).

Boys react way differently than girls to heartache.

It pisses me off that he was so quick to run to MY sister-in-law’s aid this week when she was having internet issues, but I don’t even warrant a damn phone call. It also pisses me off that she sought him out for help. It has only been a week, don’t I get dibs on my own family and friends?

Also, I totally purchased “It’s called a break up because it’s broken” based on several recommendations from my lovely bleeps. Along with “How to heal a broken heart in 30 days” we’ll see how it goes.

I have become one of “those” Lost people. I started watching the show earlier this summer to see what all hoopla was about. I was unimpressed for the first few seasons and then toward the end of season 3 is when I really became hooked. I am now like a junkie looking for my next fix. I just finished season 5 and I am trying to get my hands on disc 1 of season 6. I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!

And I might be going back to school real soon…eek!

Oh and did I mention you are all awesome?!

Breaking up is hard to do

2010-08-31T18:39:00.001-07:00

I suppose from the title you can guess what this post is about…

Mike and I ended our relationship. It would have been three years on Nov 1st. It still doesn’t seem real.

It turns out we want different things for our futures. I want children and he doesn’t. Back in February he told me that his hesitation with getting married wasn’t the marriage, it was knowing that if he said yes to marriage he was also saying yes to children. So, I told him he would need to make a decision. I was willing to wait for awhile, but that I wasn’t willing to hang around for years hoping he would finally decide in favor of children.

Since February I have been living in limbo, waiting for Mike to decide. Last week the stress and anxiety were just getting to be too much so I told Mike I needed a decision. He ultimately said that he doesn’t want children right now and doesn’t know if that will ever change.

And I told him our relationship was over.

How do you start over after 3 years? Who do you talk to about your day when the person you talked to everyday is no longer around? How do you just stop it all?

A part of me hopes that Mike will change his mind and realize he has made the wrong decision. But I also know that I can’t spend my time waiting for this to happen. I know I want children and if Mike truly doesn’t then I need to move on and find the person that I am meant to create a family with.

I am 29. Not old by any means, but since I know I want children, I can’t waste my time on someone who doesn’t. Unlike Mike, my fertility is on a time table and if Mike is not meant to be my life partner then I need to start my heart healing so I can find the person I am meant to be with.

The hardest part is he was such a huge part of my everyday. We would talk everyday. Go to lunch during the week. Spend whole weekends together. We had plans for this weekend and this fall and even Christmas. All those plans are no more. I haven’t spoken to him since Saturday, not quite an eternity, but it feels like it.

My heart is hurting a lot. There have been lots of tears.

My friends are amazing though. They listen to me cry. They keep me company and make sure I have eaten. And they remind me how awesome I am. And that I really am a great catch and that I will find the person I am meant to be with. And how strong I am for knowing what I want and actually doing the hard thing and not simply settling.

Living la vida loca!

2010-08-28T10:22:00.001-07:00

I went to Vegas two weekends ago.

It was my first trip there.

When we first arrived in Vegas it was hot (duh!), late, and I was tired after having worked a full day before catching the plane. I was traveling with my mom and my dad and Mike. If you know you my mom you know that this was stressful already.

I was less than enchanted with this fabled city. But the next day Mike and I hit the town and saw the sights. We started the morning (or in some parts of the world it would be considered afternoon…whatevs) like this:

And in no time at all I was digging the city and looking like this:

Vegas at night was definitely something to see. I am already planning the “E is turning 30, let’s party in Vegas!” celebration :) (that’s this coming June if you're keeping track)

Several of my aunts and uncles and a few cousins were there (my cousins were 9, 7, and 5 so we didn’t party it up per se). It was great to see family I hadn’t seen in awhile and just have a weekend away from it all.

My dad with 4 of his 8 siblings. They are in birth order with my dad as the oldest on the left.

The whole gang after dinner.

I really enjoyed the Freemont Experience and the Strip was fun to see at night, but since I was there with family I wasn’t all about the clubs and stuff so the strip was just “meh” during the day.

We also went to see the MGM lions (totally dug it) and of course the famous white lions and tigers at the Mirage, and the dolphins too. They had baby tigers. Smooshy and cute and cuddly baby tigers!

Overall I had a great time!

31 years later and she still has it!

2010-08-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

Pat Benatar = Awesome Sauce!

She was so amazing and has been rocking for over 31 years. She knows what the fans want and she gives it to them. She is also teeny tiny but a total rockstar.

And now for the REAL reason you all stopped by to read this post today...The Winner of my giveaway!

Lucky number 10 is the big winner.

And lucky number 10 is Jodey/Fat Chick Biker! Congratulations Jodey.

**And I promise to get pictures of the purple hair for everyone :)

A little bit of this and little bit of that

2010-08-04T14:26:00.001-07:00

Today is the last day to enter my GIVEAWAY! Come on you know you want to! All the cool kids are doing it. Come on, pretty please...

My sister-in-law being a hair stylist = best thing ever! I got mah hair did today. There are purple chunks and I love it. I am also pretty sure I will be the little old lady with bright purple hair one day. I will rock it.

Speaking of purple hair, I am going to see Pat Benatar in concert tonight. Woo hoo! It will be glorious, I have my big hoop earrings and fingerless lace gloves all ready. Now if I could just find my blue eye shadow...

I just heard a snore, I think my cubie neighbor is sleeping. That's not fair! I want a nap too.

This Friday is Relay for Life in my region of the world and I am co-captain. It is exhausting and stressful, but I know the day of, it will be worth it. I have had several people, friends and family start fighting cancer this year and I have even lost a friend to cancer just a little over a month ago. Even if you don't donate to my team, please donate in some way to any number of teams or even just to the American Cancer Society. Everyone needs more birthdays!

Oh and AND a week from Friday I will be in Vegas! I have never been before and am really excited to go. Not to gamble, but just to see all there is to see.

I'll be back tomorrow to announce the winner of my giveaway. If you haven't yet, enter ALREADY! Geez.

A recipe and a giveaway!

2010-07-29T22:29:00.001-07:00

Remember that post from oh…forever and a day ago where I talked about doing a giveaway? Well this is it!

I hope you’re wearing your party hat, because not only is this a giveaway, it’s my VERY FIRST giveaway ever. Ever.

The people at CSN Stores were kind enough to give me a promotional code and this is what I chose from cookware.com:

Aren’t they lovely and that color is definitely my color. The bigger dish is 9” square and the smaller on is 5” square. Sigh Le Creuset

Since I live by myself, the 5” dish was perfect for making a meal for one.

Asparagus Chicken Bake:

*Preheat oven to 375

1 chicken breast (I had chicken tenders, I used 2)
¼ cup chicken broth
1 cup chopped asparagus
Minced onion (I had some dried minced onion and just sprinkled some on until I thought it was good for me)
Garlic (yes please!) (again, it calls for 1 clove minced. Being the garlic lover that I am I have a Costco size jar of minced garlic in my fridge…I used about a tsp, but really can you have too much garlic?)
Small handful of croutons

I crushed the croutons up and then mixed it with the minced garlic and onion. Place the chicken and asparagus in the baking dish, pour in the chicken broth, and top with the crouton/garlic/onion mix. Put in the oven and back for 30 minutes.

It was super yummy. In fact I liked it so much I made the next day for dinner too :) I am in love with my new baking dishes!

Now for the giveaway…CSN would like to offer one of my readers their very own $30 promotional code to any of their sites. www.allmodern.com, www.luxebycsn.com, and cookware.com are just a few of many. The code is only good once and cannot be split between orders. It also does not cover any shipping costs.

To Enter:

Simply leave a comment. Yep, really, that’s it. One entry per person. The giveaway will end Wednesday August 4^th at 11:59pm. And it is open to all US and Canadian readers. The winner will be chosen using random.org.

Good luck!

***CSN Stores offered me the promotional codes in exchange for a review of their product***

The month in review

2010-07-14T19:50:00.001-07:00

Well looky here…I am actually posting! Have you missed me? Where you wondering what had become of me? No, let’s just pretend that you have. Mkay.

My last post was one month ago to the day. Geez, and I call myself a blogger. Well, I am a blogger but I guess I have a “real” life too, who knew. I promise the contest I mentioned will be happening. I just got sidetracked with life and haven’t been able to get to it just yet. Stay tuned!

What has happened since my last post:

*I turned 29! Woo hoo. So far so good. I kind of like 29.

*I celebrated the 4th of July. My neighborhood had a block party and where my friend Jen lives is an excellent spot to park my camping chair and have front row seats for the fireworks.

*I worked and worked and worked…meh

*I found out my job rotation is going to end early and I will be returning to my regularly scheduled programming effective July 26th. I was more annoyed with how the news was delivered than anything else. And the confirmation that politics are alive and well.

*I completed my second knitting project, a grocery bag

Are you impressed? ‘Cause I am! And I swear I did all the work myself. Don’t listen to anything Jackie says. He’s trying to take all the credit.

*I took a staycation and spent a fabulous week at home not doing anything. Just snuggling my dog. Watching the World Cup and le Tour de France. It was great. And BIG BROTHER started!!!!!!! Yes, I watch Big Brother and I love every insane minute of it.

*I booked my first visit to Vegas! I am going in August and I am so excited. But I do realize that it will hotter than…well you get the idea. I am still so excited. I will be there from the 13th through the 16th. If you are there and want to meet up for drinks…

*I have been working for my Relay For Life team, trying to get ready for our Relay which, is August 6th and 7th. Figuring out the details and having a garage sale and other fundraising activities.

*An amazing woman lost her fight with cancer after a long and brutal battle. I am lucky to have gotten the chance to call her friend. And it has just reinforced my passion for Relay. I know there will be a post dedicated to her really soon, probably after her service that is this weekend. I miss you Carole.

If you can, please donate to my Relay for Life team because every breath someone takes after hearing “You have cancer” is a breath they take as a survivor.

How have you been? What have you been up to?

It's my blog and I'll party if I want to!

2010-06-15T14:59:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be turning 29! My last year in my twenties. I am actually looking forward to 29 and I am even kind of excited about what 30 might bring.

I had a birthday bash/house warming party, because along with my new age I also have a new house (well, new since August). I have been working on my backyard like a fiend trying to get it ready for the party.

First I had some pavers laid. They turned out so well. Even better than I expected.

After that I decided I wanted a flagstone patio…but I had spent all my money for hired help on the pavers. That meant I had to do the flagstone myself. And when I say myself I really mean, me, Mike (he was out there from beginning to end), Jen, my dad, and my brother Alex. They all helped me dig a giant hole, then lay gravel and sand and eventually the flagstone itself.

Look I even have some garden beds because I am going to try and be all 'urban farmery' (raised beds made by my brother Sam) Oh and P.S. The sand on the flagstone in this picture has been spread out more and not all piled up in several spots.

Since the majority of my backyard was now complete it was time to PARTAY! Except the weather decided to go all crappy on me. I fretted that it would rain the day of my party and that would have been terrible. I have way more yard than house and the whole point of the party was to have people hang out outside, not be squished together inside the house! Fortunately the day of the party came and the weather was beautiful!

I had a lot of fun. So much fun in fact that I didn’t take a single picture (and I call myself a blogger, sheesh!)

Speaking of fun, now that I have completed most of the outside work I have turned my attention to the inside. I am thinking paint colors and art pieces and possibly a new vanity for my bedroom or the spare room. There is just so much I want to do!

Also, in honor of my birthday…I am going to be doing a review/giveaway! My very first on this here little blog. Stay tuned!

P.S. As a birthday gift to me, you should all donate to my Relay for Life Team! Come one, cancer sucks so give me your bucks.

Camping, what's that all about?

2010-06-03T14:50:00.000-07:00

I went camping over the Memorial Day weekend. I am not a camper. I don’t like bugs, I am terrified of spiders, I hate when my hands and nails are dirty, and I have trouble breathing well on normal days, let alone when I am huddle around a campfire trying to stay warm.

The plan was to head out Saturday morning, meet up with our friends who had staked out a site the night before and camp through Monday morning. We only made it to Sunday, early afternoon. It looked like it was going to rain either that evening, night or early the next morning. Now I already stated I am not a camper. I am REALLY not a camper when it involves me getting wet insert 12 y/o boy giggles and jokes here. I don’t want to have to try and figure out how to feed myself while battling the rain or have to pack up the tent and all the camping “stuff” in the rain and subsequent mud.

When those grey clouds started to move in, Mike opted for us to leave and head back into town. Smart, smart man.

I guess for me I don’t see the appeal in packing up all my worldly belongs (minus anything remotely electronic) and trekking out into the woods. I mean, I have a perfectly comfortable bed (that I don’t spend enough time with) at my house. I have a stove and indoor plumbing and refrigeration and insulated walls that keep the heat in. And I have internets and TV. Why do I need to leave…ever?

Camping is supposed to be relaxing? It stresses me out to the max.

Did I have fun? Yes. It was nice to spend time with friends and just hang out, tell jokes and eat s’mores (lub me some s’mores). It was nice to not really think about what was happening on FB or be tied to my computer and blackberry. But this little bit of fun does not outweigh my dislike. For me there are more cons than pros to camping.

Will I go camping again? Most likely. Mike enjoys camping and so do several of our friends. But I will not initiate any camping trip. It will not be my first choice in how I want to spend my time off. But I will and I won’t hate it and I will smile and do my best to be pleasant. I will be a good sport. And as I sit in a camp chair, trying to ignore the dirt under my fingernails while roasting a marshmallow and drinking a beer, I will imagine I am at a 5 star hotel with direct path to the beach and beautiful view of the ocean with a fruity drink complete with an umbrella in my hand.

P.S. You should donate to my Relay for Life Team! http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ehauk

The one about bad pussies and strippers

2010-05-12T19:18:00.001-07:00

You know your job is good when you end the work day discussing strippers. And it is completely work related and relevant to the work we do! For real. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

As class let out and people filed out there were smiles on the faces and giggles could be heard fading down the hallway.

Do you know some of the self employment costs strippers might have?…

Me: What do we consider self employment?

Me: Blah blah blah, meet these criteria, blah blah blah
(I am sure this is how I sound to the class)

HS: And remember we may get people coming in who say they are drug dealers or prostitutes and they won’t have receipts to verify their income.
(Hi Helena! Everyone say hi to Helena)

Student: Yeah and strippers. Would we consider them having to purchase ”outfits” as an expense?

Me/HS: It could be, but could also depend. You and I have to purchase clothing appropriate for our employment, but would we consider that a cost? Possibly.

**This is where I have the best line…EVER**

Me: Another cost they might incur, grooming costs

The laughter was immediate, some were in utter shock, and I couldn’t help but giggle myself.

Class: *snickers*

Me: Come on, you all know what I am talking about!

Ah yes the day ended on a positive note, even if there is one very trying student in the class. But hey, there is usually one and she will only make me a better trainer in the long run.

My mind lives in the gutter, geez. Why do you think I have to wash my hair so often! And here is evidence that I have even corrupted my cat. I give you miss Maggie doing her impression of what dirty girls do:

You’re welcome and good night!

P.S. You should really donate to my Relay for Life team! http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ehauk

Because slamming my head into the wall sounded like a good idea

2010-05-07T09:57:00.000-07:00

For the past day and a half I have had a splitting headache, sometimes called a migraine (I personally prefer the term MOTHERF****** B****). A headache so bad that the idea of stabbing my own eyes out actually sounded appealing because the pain would be less than what I was currently experiencing.

I left work early Wed afternoon and completely opted out of work on Thurs. I have an hour commute and the thought of driving made me want to cry and probably would not have been the best idea as my vision was slightly blurred and I was nauseous. And I couldn’t even imagine looking at a computer all day long, my eyeballs throbbed just thinking about it.

It was brutal.

I slept when I could, in a dark room, a cold pack over my eyes, snuggled with my Jackie. I found the thought of food completely unappealing. Me not be interested in food = major problem. I love food. I eat food even when my tummy is upset because it just might make it feel better.

I have been drinking lots of water just in case this headache is the cause of dehydration. I hate having a headache. The stress of it causes my shoulders to tense up, adding to the problem. The muscles in my neck are as hard as rocks.

Migraines suck ass!

Fortunately the pain is now just a dull ache, more a residual pain left over from the debilitating pain of yesterday.

P.S. You should donate to my Relay For Life team. All the cool kids are doing it!
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ehauk

Relay For Life

2010-05-03T08:59:00.000-07:00

I Relay for Grandma Sue, Grandpa Charlie, Carole, Fern, Cindy and little Ezra. I Relay for everyone I love - Family & Friends - who have ever heard the words "YOU HAVE CANCER".

For them I Relay.

Every dollar raised is $1 closer to finding a Cure. One step closer to "YOU HAVE CANCER" being words no one has to hear again. It will become a thing of the past.

I honor Grandma Sue, Grandpa Charlie, Carole, Fern, Cindy, and Little Ezra by participating in Relay For Life and raising money to eradicate cancer. Every breath they take after hearing that heart stopping word CANCER is another breath they take as a Survivor!

My goal in participating in Relay For Life is to make every single cancer patient a survivor and ultimately cancer free and healthy.

I am asking for your help in reaching my personal goal of raising $250.00 for this year's Relay For Life. Help me raise the funds so we can say someone else is a cancer survivor. Every donation is appreciated, $1, $5, $10, $25...nothing is too small!

If you would like to donate please click on the link I have posted to my participation page.

Thank you for your support.

~E

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ehauk

I may have been absent from here, but I was still busy!

2010-04-30T11:42:00.001-07:00

It’s been awhile since I last blogged. I just haven’t had the inspiration. I can’t form the words to tell a story. Or my stories aren’t very fascinating or interesting to me so why would they be interesting to you.

Since the last time I posted:

• My brother got married
• I have been traveling up a storm with work
• I had a paver patio put in, in my backyard
• I planted 3 trees in my backyard, each one requiring a ginormous hole…have I mentioned the “dirt” in my backyard is actually clay after the first 18 inches?!
• I became addicted to Dexter, I have watched all 3 seasons on DVD and I really think season 4 needs to get over already and released on DVD.
• I am in the process of knitting a grocery bag, it’s challenging but actually looking like a bag and not a knotted mess. (P.S. I am in a knitting group and this only my second project EVER, the first was a scarf)
• My car and I were in a minor collision with some tire debris kicked up by a semi while driving home from work one day on the interstate going 70+ mph. I am fine; the car was a little banged up.
• My car is now fixed
• The chunk of my front spoiler that was ripped off in the above mentioned collision can still be seen on the side of road.

That is my last month in a nutshell.

I have been keeping up with all of you lovelies though. Never fear, I continue to stalk your pages and even occasionally leave a comment or two.

What’s in the purse

2010-04-07T20:12:00.001-07:00

Several of you have done the “what’s in your purse” posts and today I decided to jump on that boat! Besides, I just got a new purse so overall my purse is pretty clean and I am not embarrassed by what may be inside.

My brother is getting married this weekend and I needed a dress for the event. Jen and I headed to the outlet mall. I found a dress I really like and discovered that there is a Coach store! Sigh, I love me some Coach. Along with my new dress I now have a new purse and wallet:

But I know you are all here to really see what is inside the purse and not the purse itself…but you must admit, that is one beautiful bag.

1. Stamps, yeah, I carry stamps in my purse. I am the person when you ask, “Does anyone have a stamp?” who responds, “Yes.” and then gives you one and doesn’t even expect you to pay for it. Also there is my bluetooth (I hate that thing, but I commute everyday around 80 miles each way and driving and talking on the phone is a no-no). Lastly is a nail file, hang nails are a bitch!

2. My new beautiful wallet, nuf said.

3. My work ID badges and if you look closely you can also see the pair of earrings that I discovered in the bottom of my purse.

4. The love of my life…also known as my blackberry.

5. Gum, essential. And several pens and a sticky note pad sometimes you just need to leave a quick love note.

6. My Starbucks gift card and my punch card for Dutch Bros, another coffee place – drink coffee much? Check! The other card is the business card for my landscaper guy who is starting next week.

7. Inhaler, vital if I want to keep breathing; eye drops and no I am not a stoner, I have issues with my tear ducts and sometimes my eyes dry out; lip gloss and hand lotion, it’s important to keep the lips and hands soft and smooth and kissable ;)

8. Keys, several pairs. One set is to my house and my parents house and the second set are my work keys.

9. And lastly…my passport! You never know when you might need to make a quick get away. It is important to always be prepared, just in case.

Rain Rain Go Away

2010-04-04T20:40:00.001-07:00

There are so many things I want to blog about and I have started several different posts over the weeks. I have even written whole posts in my head but then I get a minute to myself in front of the computer and all I want to do is check Facebook (aka feed my addiction) and then go to bed.

As you may know, I started a new job at the beginning of March. It involves a long commute when I am “in the office” and then there is also quite a bit of traveling, overnight traveling around the state. Last week I was in Portland M-Th and then Friday I was briefly in the office for two hours where I gathered all the material I would need for this coming week’s training.

I am loving the job! But adjusting is taking some time. And it is always hard when you aren’t sleeping in your own bed. My Jackie is staying with Mike while I am out of town and Jen is feeding the Maggie. Impersonal hotel rooms just don’t offer the comfort the my creatures do when they are snuggled up next to me.

This week, Mon and Tues I am Co-Training my very first training. I am no longer just observing. I am nervous but excited. Wish me luck. I have been teaching small sections to get practice speaking in front of people. The first time I was given a larger portion I felt really good about it. The trainees were all responsive and gave good feedback. I was feeling good…then it was break time and I went to the bathroom and realized my zipper had been down the entire time! Awesome.

Oh well at least I got it out of the way early on, right?

The weather has been crazy and unpredictable. It will be sunny and blue skies one minute and the next it is torrential downpours. You know the rain is bad when drivers is Oregon are driving super slow. And of course it only decides to open up and dump all the rain on me when I am transferring my suitcase from my car into the State Car or trying check into the hotel. It also makes driving a little more treacherous. Stupid rain!

The rain and sun mixture has also caused the weeds in my backyard aka the jungle, go completely insane! The grass is taller than my dog, I can’t even see him when he is running around out there. So, today I decided to tackle the yard (well and the landscaper guy is coming in the morning and I don’t want him to see the craziness that is my backyard!) Mike came over and helped me weed whack the shit out of the jungle. It actually looks pretty normal and scary overgrown.

I am really going to try and get back into my blogging groove! And just because I may not be posting much I am still out here and keeping up with all of your blogs. You’re my blog buddies and I heart you lots and lots!

This and That

2010-03-23T18:05:00.001-07:00

Dear Psycho drivers, slow drivers, idiot drivers, etc

…please stay off the road while I am on my commute.

Thanks,
~E

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I have started listening to NPR during my commute. I find it interesting and much more informative than the music station, which liked to inform me about celebrity happenings (I kind of miss that though, but that’s why the internet has people.com).

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Jake the Bachelor is an idiot and should just keep his mouth shut. On DWTS, when he said proposing to Vienna was the honor of his life, I almost vomited. And even my dog was all, “Bitch please.

*but I do enjoy Niecy with her jiggly bits and Buzz with his moon walk.

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The one about cars

2010-03-11T20:09:00.001-08:00

I miss my car.

I mean, I have a car, but I miss MY car.

I have had several cars over the course of my driving lifetime. The original car: The Jetta. It was older than I was, only one radio station came in and that was only because I had a giant nail in the place where antennae should have been. There was black electrical tape along the side of the back driver side door so it would match the rest of the siding (the car was white but had black strips on the sides). It was the car that left a puff of black smoke behind as it pulled away AND the windshield leaked when it rained! I live in Western Oregon. IT IS ALWAYS RAINING!!!!! (that’s why my dad drilled a hole in the floorboard, he rocks)

That car was my first taste of freedom. It was mine and I could come and go as I pleased (okay I was 16, so obviously there were restrictions on my coming and going). That car was a tank (them Germans know how to make a durable, sturdy car) and I adored it.

My second car was a suzuki esteem wagon, named Tabitha, lovingly called Tabby. I had Tabby in college and you could cram all your crap into her at the end of the school year and make the long trek home. You could cram her full of drunk college girls and make 2am taco runs. She braved snow storms and flying rocks aimed at her windshield. Tabby was a great car who will always be associated with great college memories.

My current car is a toyota matrix (not one of the recalled ones). I purchased it because the payment were less than my other car payment and I needed a smaller car payment so I could make a mortgage payment and not have to eat ramen noodles everyday. I bought it from a friend who sold it because they were getting a minivan to accommodate their growing family. It is a peppy, zippy little car and gets pretty fabulous mileage (bonus since I now commute 75 miles to work, each way, everyday). But I have no emotional attachment to this car. I needed a car and this one does the job. It’s just a car.

The car I had to let go when I bought my house is the car that had my heart. It was a beautiful dark blue honda civic. It was brand new. I drove it off the lot with only 3 miles on the odometer. I knew I “shouldn’t” buy a new car because it loses value the minute I leave the dealership. I didn’t care. I don’t have any kids and my two biggest financial responsibilities were rent and student loans, I wanted to splurge on me! I had done research and test driven several different makes and models and this was the car for me. I loved it. That car was my baby. When my mom’s bike fell over in the garage and scratched my shiny new hood, I wept. Then paid to have it buffed out and painted.

Have I mentioned how much I loved that car. There was an ache in my chest when I realized I was going to have to part with it.

Yes, I know, it was just a car. But it was my first big, “I’m a grown up” purchase. Besides my college education it was the most money I had ever spent on anything. It was mine and I did it on my own. I really loved that car.

I ended up selling it to my soon to be sister in-law and I am hope she enjoys it as much as I did. I am happy I was able to give her a great deal on a fabulous car. But I am still a little sad.

Several people I work with all drive civics and every time I see them pull in or I spot their car parked in the parking lot, I get a little nostalgic. I remember the feeling of my first NEW car.

It’s ridiculous to feel this way about a car, but I do.

Sigh, one day I will get another one, maybe even the hybrid version (my inner hippie just cheered) (I am already planning and saving). Until then I will continue to drive my matrix and put all the miles onto this car that I have no feelings for. And I will work on paying it off so that I have more flexibility in my future car options.

Do you have a favorite car?

P.S. I found out today that my car needs a new catalytic converter, awesomeness...

I see the sunrise every morning now

2010-03-03T20:00:00.000-08:00

I still exist. I am still reading all of your blogs. But I started a new job on Monday that now comes with a commute of 1+ hr each way. And did I mention I start at 7am so I am on the road by 5:45ish in the morning.

DID you know there are people AWAKE at 5:45am...yeah, me neither.

So I am working on getting into my new groove.

I promise to be back soon!

Besitos,
~E

Do you have picture of your esophagus, ‘cause I totally do!

2010-02-25T23:15:00.001-08:00

Today was a slightly less than awesome day. But it ended alright.

When you are told you aren’t allowed to eat is when there seems to be food everywhere and all you think about is food.

This afternoon I had a upper GI Endoscopy done. Awesome sauce. Basically they stick a tube/camera down your throat to look at your esophagus and stomach and the first part of your small intestine.

The important thing to note, is that in order to do this procedure you aren’t allowed to eat for at least 6 hours prior to the procedure. Well, my procedure was scheduled for 2pm, which means no food after 8am. I have to be at work at 8am and I wait until the last possible minute to get up in the morning and then I eat once I actually get to work.

I love food, but I love me some sleep even more. So I get to work and am about to do my normal breakfast routine and realize, I CAN’T EAT ANYTHING! And I haven’t eaten since dinner last night. This makes my body suddenly think it will never eat again and that I am going to starve to death.

My tummy rumbles and grumbles. And makes the most inappropriate noises at the most inopportune moments.

I was totally starving.

My appointment time rolls around and I strip down my top half* and put on a lovely hospital gown (I know you are so jealous right now). Then the nurse hooks up my IV (oh yeah, bring on the good drugs) and they cover me in a warm blanket and leave. I wait patiently for my turn and while I am waiting I hear the doctor talking to another patient after their procedure. The patient is wondering about eating now that they can and the Dr says they should start out with something light and nothing too greasy as it may upset their stomach.

I am laying in the darkened room, starting to freeze because the room was frigid and the warm blanket was now just a blanket. And all I can think about is how I really want a cheeseburger and some french fries. He just had to go and start talking about greasy food, thanks a lot! My stomach also lets out the LOUDEST growl ever.

But I guess it is better to be thinking about food than to be stressing out about my procedure.

Finally it is my turn, I am rolled in to the room where the procedure will be done and the Dr starts chatting with me, his rock music playing in the background (not really soothing to me, but hey that’s what the drugs are for and I want him on the top of his game). He turns to me after a few minutes and says, “Are you okay? You seem stressed.” Um yeah, you are about to make me be unconscious while you stick a tube down my throat…makes me a little nervous.

After that the next thing I know I am waking up in the recovery room, Mike is sitting next to me. The nurse asks me a few questions (I have no idea what) and then I am ready to get dressed and head home. I manage to get my bra and shirt back on, then sway and wobble as I stand up slowly.

My world was still fuzzy and that is why Mike was my driver :) Again, all my fuzzy brain can think about it food. So when I get home I have some soup and my tummy smiles.

After Mike leaves Jackie and I decide it is time to watch so TV and just chill on the couch. And by watch TV and chill, I really mean pass out asleep on the couch. We slept for several hours. It was great. And I woke up to Survivor on TV, woo hoo! Sometimes fuzzyland is a fun place to visit.

And because I know you all are wondering, my esophagus is just fine. Everything looks perfect :) Yea me!

*I was told to disrobe from waist up, but to leave my pants and socks on. The bed I was on had a pad on it right where my butt was located. It was kind of like a puppy pad. Now if someone expects me to lose control of my bladder or worse, then I really think I should have been told to remove my pants too! I assume that is for patients who are getting endoscopies from the other end. And no, the pad was not necessary for moi.

Book Review-The King and Dr. Nick, by George Nichopoulos, M.D. with Rose Clayton Phillips

2010-02-19T16:13:00.001-08:00

This book spans the years Dr. Nick spent as Elvis’s personal doctor and the years after Elvis’s death. It shows the depth of Elvis’s personality, more than just his public persona, the man behind the King of Rock ‘N Roll. It depicts how Dr. Nick fought to clear his own name and Elvis’s from the cloud of “drug overdose”.

I found this book to be quite interesting. I am not a huge Elvis fan and I don’t know all that much about him. Before I read this book I just “knew” Elvis had died in the bathroom at Graceland from a heart attack believed to be caused by a drug overdose and years of drug abuse. True die hard Elvis fans would probably really enjoy this book (and the photos). The man portrayed by Dr. Nick was devoted to his daughter, loved to make people happy, and hated for anyone to be mad at him.

Dr. Nick discusses the struggles of treating a patient such as Elvis, because people with that kind of celebrity don’t want to hear “no”. And if they do hear “no” they have the resources to find someone who will say “yes”. Public figures have erratic schedules and demands on their time and energy that seriously impact their overall health and well being. It is obvious from this book that Dr. Nick truly cared for Elvis and his other patients.

But in the end, Dr. Nick made a nice scapegoat when people wanted someone to blame for Elvis’s death. There had to be someone to point the finger at when people wanted answers. And unfortunately that person was Dr. Nick. This book also highlights the power of public opinion versus facts presented.

If you are an Elvis fan, I highly recommend this book. And even if you aren’t, but want to know a little bit more about him, this is an excellent read.

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Why I love Valentine’s Day

2010-02-13T16:00:00.001-08:00

I know there are people out there who groan and grumble about how much they dislike Valentine’s Day.

I know that many people call it a hallmark holiday. Created solely to sell cards and candy and flowers. It is not a “true” holiday.

I hear people call it SAD (Single Awareness Day). And that all the lovey dovey stuff makes people want to vomit.

But I adore Valentine’s Day.

To me, it is a day to remember to let those we love, know we love them. It is a reminder to say “I love you” to friends and family and partners. It is not only for people who are coupled up. There are so many people in my life who I love who do not fall into the category of significant other. But it doesn’t mean I love them any less, I just love them differently.

We get so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, that we don’t always stop to say how much we care. And often we forget until we receive a rude awakening and sometimes we are reminded too late.

So on Valentine’s Day tell everyone you love the you LOVE THEM!

Here are some of the people I love:

My Mom and Dad Mike

My brother Sam aka Schmoolie My soon to be sister-in law Kelsey

My brother Alex aka A-Dawg My best friend Jen

Wednesday is a great hump day

2010-02-10T19:12:00.001-08:00

I am having the best day!

I basically cleared out all my backlog at work. Quite the accomplishment.

I found out I got the job I was hoping for. Woo hoo go me!

My mom found out she got a job today. She has been retired since April and always planned to go back to work, but has been unable to find a job. And that woman has been to more interviews than I can even count. Trust me, I know, she tells me about each and every one.

Gabby from gabby, she wrote let me know that I won her Bare Escentuals Mascara giveaway. My eyelashes just told me they are super excited.

And…

I got a blog award!

I know, right?! Lin from Linny’s Vault gave it to me and it tickled me pink. It just added to the fabulousness that was my day.

The Rules:

1. List 6 things you are a master in.

2. Pass it on to 6 bloggers you think are masters at friendship & make blogging so awesome.

Things I’m a master at:

1. Being Awesome. I mean really, hello! Besides, without me you’re just aweso

2. Loading the dishwasher. Seriously. I can load a dishwasher like nobody’s bidnass. I get it from my dad. Also, I will rearrange the dishwasher if I don’t like how it was loaded. This too is a trait from my dad.

3. Crossword puzzles. I love them. I always do them in pen. I can usually complete the NY Times one through Wednesday and part of Thursday. Practice makes perfect people, practice makes perfect.

4. Naming breeds of dogs. Whenever I see a dog I automatically say what kind of breed it is. I know a lot about different breeds and I share this knowledge with everyone, even if they really don’t care. You’re welcome.

5. Eating cupcakes. I lub me some cupcakes!

6. Reading. I can fly through books. And I always a another book lined up for when I finish the one or two or four, that I am currently working on.

And six bloggers I am passing this award along to:

Aubrey @ made you blush
Cathy @ the marvelous mrs E
Gabby @ gabby, she wrote
Gidget @ fidgeting gidget
Liz @ it’s unbeweaveable
Sara @ welcome to sara's organized chaos

*Yes, I did alphabetize the names.

Spam needs to stay in a can

2010-02-07T21:59:00.000-08:00

*Sigh*

I have decided to add the captcha verification to comments. Awhile ago I opted to do comment moderation on any posts older than 14 days because I was getting a lot of Asian porn comments.

Uh, thanks, but no thanks.

And now recently I have been getting even more porn and unsolicited site pitches on my recent posts.

The excitement when I get an email saying I have a new comment and BAM it is all dashed and replaced with disappointment when I see it is porn or some stupid site.

So, to those who hate captchas, sorry. Don't hate me! I still love all of you!

Did you get your ticket to the gun show?

2010-02-05T18:00:00.001-08:00

OMG!

I am sitting here minding my own business when a commercial comes on the TV. Now I have been known to be infatuated with infomercials and I always want to see if it REALLY works the way they say it does on TV. The “As seen on TV” aisle at Bed, Bath & Beyond can keep me enthralled for hours at a time.

But this commercial? Not okay, ever!

Seriously! It looks like they are all working their arm muscles for a specific purpose, wink, wink. And the way they hold the “shake weight” makes me think they are all going to get an eyeful of some spooge any second.

You know the boyfriends/husbands/lovers of those women must be really happy their lady friends have picked up the shake weight. Pssh, they all must give amazing hand jobs!

Ah, I think I hear my boyfriend calling…

You are my sunshine

2010-01-31T15:46:00.001-08:00

It really is amazing how the sunshine and clear blue skies and a day spent hanging out with your dog, can make everything seem right with the world again.

Today was a beautiful day today. I have my windows open for the first time this year. There is not a rain cloud to be found.

It feels like spring!

This was just the day I needed.

Jackie and I decided to go play at the dog park. Only Jackie doesn’t really “play” at the dog park. He thinks it is his personal responsibility to pee on every bush, fence post, and blade of grass there.

All the other dogs are playing and having a great time, my dog can be found in the farthest corner watering the plants.

But I know he had a great time and the fresh air and sunshine made my day great. It was the recharge I so needed.

If “wants” were horses, beggars would ride

2010-01-30T23:02:00.001-08:00

I don’t want…

…to cry when I get off the phone with you.

…to have a salesperson call my your wife and secretly cry inside, while I laugh with you about silly salespeople.

…to hear how she said you were a flower kind of guy, because you never give me flowers, but apparently once upon a time you gave them to her.

…to have you tell me you don’t like animal print because it used to be her thing.

…to feel alone when we are in the same room, because of a videogame.

I want…

…to joke about silly things we will register for when we get married.

…to dream together about the children we may one day have.

…you to give me flowers, not because you’re a flower guy, but because you know I’m a flower gal.

…to be spontaneous and jump you on the couch when you least expect it and not fear being rebuffed.

…you to show up at my house unexpectedly just because you missed me and had to see me.

It’s not me, it’s you…no really it’s me

2010-01-25T22:02:00.001-08:00

I had a “People of Wal Mart” experience this weekend. Except it’s not that I saw someone who qualified for a photo…I was the person of Wal Mart! Or at least my own version of this phenomenon.

I wasn’t wearing gold leggings with knee high space boots and I didn’t have rolls hanging out of my shirt or over the top of my pants.

But still…

It was Saturday morning and my dog woke me up at the butt crack of dawn, also known as 8:00am.

He was full of energy and refused to go back to bed, even after I let him out to go potty and fed him. Geez, what more did he want from me?!

So, I finally gave in and decided to take him for a nice long brisk walk. We had a great walk, it was a beautiful sunny morning and as Jackie and I walked around the neighborhood the fog slowly lifted from surrounding hills and the crisp chill air was invigorating.

Once we got back to the house I went to make coffee only to realize I was out of half & half and I also remembered I was almost out of toilet paper. Like, one wipe was all I had left.

Half & half and toilet paper, hello, those are ESSENTIALS! Essentials I tell you!

So, I made the decision to run to Wal Mart quickly and grab my essentials. A quick in and out trip. Since I had not had my morning dose of ~~crack~~ caffeine, I was not prepared to get completely ready for the day.

As I am heading back to the dairy section of Wal Mart I realize OMG I am my own personal version of a “person of Wal Mart”. I was make-up less and wearing my sweatpants and sweatshirt from my walk earlier with Jackie. My hair up in a ponytail with my sunglasses shoved atop my head. It was all that glamorous.

I was also braless.

Now, before everyone collectively gasps in horror that I was in public without an over the shoulder boulder holder, let me just say that I am not a “well endowed” woman. I can often go without a bra and no one can tell, especially when I have a hoodie on. When I say I am a B-cup I am being generous. But the point is, being braless only added to the classiness that was my ensemble.

I picked up my pace, grabbed my half & half and tp and raced toward the checkout. Then as I was checking out I realized several things: 1. Real “People of Wal Mart” aren’t awake this early on a Saturday! 2. “People of Wal Mart” aren’t rocking the Ugg boots and Dooney & Burke purse! **

Pssh, I was golden. Bring it Wal Mart. I’m not afraid of you

**yeah I know I sound completely shallow and materialistic, but let me have it okay. It’s my coping mechanism for my shame!

Everyone who is anyone is doing it

2010-01-22T21:07:00.000-08:00

My Friday evening:

First of all, I JUST realized it was 9pm. Wow. I am the uncoolest person on the planet!

I am sitting on my couch in my snuggie (don't hate) with my dog snuggled at my side and my cat perched behind my head.

I am freshly showered and in sweatpants and a t-shirt, with my feet in the awesomest slippers ever. They are from Old Navy, and seriously they are my favorite slippers ever!

I am full from my yummy crock pot dinner. Thanks Cathy it was delicious. You should go vote for her!

I have discovered the amazingness that is Super Mario Bros for the Wii. I finally had to stop playing because my thumb was getting sore and I think I might have slightly traumatized my dog from yelling FUCK at the tv whenever I died.

I just watched Ricky Gervais comedy special on HBO and almost peed my pants laughing. He is hilarious. I get his humor. We would be best friends I just know it.

And now I am watching Hope for Haiti. And apparently Madonna has had a little work done her face...
***more importantly, go to hopforhaitinow.org and please help!*** Every story makes my heart ache more.

Ah, the glamorous life of me :)

I am so happy it is the weekend! I hope all your nights are as exciting as mine and your weekend is simply fabulous.

Holy scalpel, Batman!

2010-01-15T15:51:00.000-08:00

Have you all seen/heard about all the plastic surgery Heidi Montag had done recently?! I think it is sad. She doesn’t even look like her original self. She was beautiful and unique and annoying as fuck, before she ever went under the knife. And now she is full of plastic, from her head to ass cheeks. And can someone please tell me where they found enough fat on her neck, waist, and thighs to perform liposuction?

It is so sad that she felt she needed to have all this surgery just so she would feel beautiful. I am not one to knock cosmetic surgery, I am sure after I have a couple of kids I might be looking into getting the tummy tightened and girls lifted. But I think it should be a crime that the surgeon was even allowed to perform all those surgeries on her and all in one day.

She is so young, only 23. She doesn’t even know what her body and face would look like when she became a real grown up. She has already thrown it away. While I can hardly stand her and I don’t think she should be famous in anyway because she is talentless (and don’t even get me started on that douche bag she married), my heart hurts for how much she must truly dislike herself.

She needs some therapy, not more surgery.

P.S. You all look beautiful today! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, behold your beauty!

The 100th Episode of the Perkster Show!

2010-01-11T17:27:00.000-08:00

Guess what, guess what?!

This is my 100th post!

Can you believe it? Yeah, me neither.

I started this blog to journal my weight loss journey. Except I only wrote about 3 blogs about that. Then I turned it into my space (not to be confused with myspace).

My space where I rant and rave and cheer and cry. And in return you all offer advice, hugs, strategies, and basically feed my narcissism.

I discovered this whole new world called the blogosphere. Where my friends ACTUALLY live in the computer and it's not just a joke! Sometimes non-bloggers look at me funny when I say things like, oh my blog friend or my friend whose blog I follow said this or did that. They just don't understand (that was said in my head to the tune of Fresh Prince's "Parents Just Don't Understand"). How could they? But to me you all mean so much to me!

Each and everyone of you have touched me in some way (and no I don't mean in a pervy way, geez).

Thanks for reading and for being here. And I look forward to 100 more posts.

Hi Friday. Want to make out?

2010-01-08T19:49:00.000-08:00

So lets recap the awesomeness that was this first full week back at work since the holidays (is anyone else counting down the days until MLK day on the 18th? yeah me too).

I have gone to look at the calendar multiple times this past week and every time I look up to see December staring back at me...'cause I am lazy and haven't gone and actually gotten a calendar for the new year. Sweet! I need a calendar because I write down all my awesome appointments. Okay, none are really awesome.

Being that it is a new year, my insurance has changed. Less than amused. Let me just say first, I am SOOOOOOOOOO thankful for a job that provides me with health insurance. But it is frakkin inconvenient. They sent out new insurance cards the first week of Jan. Genius that I am, I lost mine. I pulled it off the paper with every intention of putting it in my wallet. Somewhere between being in my hand in the dining room and my purse on the kitchen counter it went poof and disappeared. I would have felt worse about this except, they printed the WRONG information on the cards. My new card is on its way now to my mailbox, thank you very much!

Biggest inconvenience of having new insurance...the information, oh, say THE PHARMACY has on file is no longer valid. Have I mentioned that I am asthmatic and take advair? and have an albuterol inhaler? Normally my advair copay is a whooping $15 and my albuterol is a measly $5. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH they told me I had to pay today when I went to pick up my advair? $148! Pssh, no thank you I will be back when I get my card in the mail. Good thing it wasn't an important medication to yanno help with something vital to survival like say, breathing!

Also this week I took the big leap and switched from comcast cable to satellite cable. It has me a little worried, but mostly because I have always had comcast and I know how it all works. This satellite thing is going to take a little getting used to. Plus for the same package I had I now pay $40 less a month. Booya!

I dripped super glue on my laptop keyboard yesterday. The backspace key isn't that important, right? RIGHT?! Okay, I did manage to get most of it off before everything set and stuck for life (because I have lightening quick reflexes). And the key still works.

I crate my dog when I go to work because well sometimes he likes to read when I am not around:

(I blame the jack russell, he is always trying to get Shadow into trouble)

Today when I left for work I gave him the second half of his rawhide bone. When I came home at lunch and let him out, Jackie walked around the house with the knotted end (all that remained) in his mouth. Then before I knew it he had gone back into his crate and proceeded to chew up the rest of his bone. The door was wide open, but he had no desire to come out while he had part of a bone to work on. He is a funny funny little man.

He just stole the bone that Shadow was gnawing on right out from under Shadow's paw. Shadow looks completely stunned. And to add insult to injury, Jackie farted as he ran away with the bone and I think I might die

I hope all your work weeks ended with a laugh and you all enjoy your weekend!

A room without books is a body without soul

2010-01-06T09:39:00.000-08:00

I love books. I love everything about them. Their smell, the pages, the ink, the glue used in the binding. And most of all I love the story so neatly contained within those pages, waiting to take me away. If I know a movie is based off a book, I always want to read the book first.

And even though stories provide you with the basics and the foundation, each unfolding story is unique to each reader. We get to fill in the blanks with our own interpretation. While your Mr. Darcy might be similar to mine, they are still different.

My reading comes and goes. Sometimes I am a voracious reader and I fly through the books, I can hardly keep unread books in the house. It feels as though I have barely turned to the first page when I am already at the end. Other times it is more of a struggle to finish a book, it takes awhile for me to finish. I just don’t feel like reading (usually this is when life has been particularly stressful and I just want to hide under the covers from everything).

And...I have decided to join a book club. A blogger book club. I am pretty excited! And all of you are invited to join as well. And what a great opportunity to explore and experience your local library! You don’t have to buy the book, just check it out. Or maybe your local used book store has copy that is just waiting for your love.

"Don't let the name fool you- it's not for literally slow readers (although, if you are, we don't judge) and it's not as exclusive as a 'club'. this is an opportunity to take part of a movement that needs a revelation to slow down and take a few minutes in our day to disconnect, reenergize and even be a part of helping our communities and environment, via The Slow Movement."
~Diana

* The first book will be Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls.

And we have 2 months to read the book. (Well technically 2 months from this past Monday 01/04). And then on March 4th we will all write a review on our blog about the book.

I am excited, it should be lots of fun and the authors I will be reading are ones that I might not normally think of.

If you want to join you should contact Carly (I discovered the book club through her blog), Diana, or Gabbi.

Wednesday What-Nots

2010-01-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

I have actually been really productive at work this week...strange

I am happy that my shows are all coming back, I have missed them. Except Glee won't be back for several months :(

My favorite line from Biggest Loser last night was "Are my abs showing?!"

I am going to go watch The Wizard of Oz on the big screen tonight. It will be awesome.

Even though Christmas is over, I still listen to Christmas music on Pandora and it makes me smile.

My friend Damon brought me this flower as a house warming gift. Isn't it just beautiful:

Basically it means I'm awesome

2010-01-03T19:56:00.000-08:00

Christmas is officially, officially OVER in my neck of the woods. In fact, the holidays, period, are over (for now).

All indoor Christmas and holiday decorations came down early last week. I had a moment of motivation and decided it would be best if I just did it. Or I would still be looking at my Christmas tree in February.

But yesterday I completed the dismantling of the holidays. I took all the lights down outside. My house is back to “normal”.

You should also know that in order to take all the outside lights down it required me to get on the roof. Yes, the roof. Me.

I was on this roof.

Now, my house isn’t huge and only a single story, but for reals, that roof pitch is steep! And scary as hell.

Besides, do I look like someone who normally frolics along the rooftops? Pssh, no.

In fact, the only reason I had lights along my roofline was because MIKE climbed up on the roof in the first place!

I am pretty proud of myself. Basically this was the first big step in my plan to rule the world.

Bring it 2010, I ain’t scurred of you!

Everyone else is doing it...NYE

2009-12-31T17:41:00.000-08:00

So another year is coming to a close in a few short hours (it is already 2010 in many parts of the world).

I have heard many people say they did not enjoy 2009 and are happy to see it go. I am not one of them. While I always enjoy seeing what is in store for the new year, I do not hate 2009 nor do I even dislike 2009. In fact, I even kind of enjoyed 2009 quite a bit.

It was a big year for me and several close friends. My best friend got married. My brother and his fiance bought a house. My little baby brother moved out into his very own apartment. And I bought a house.

I BOUGHT a house!

I honestly never thought a house would be in my future until I was married and was buying with someone else. Or I would be a lot older than I am now if I was buying it on my own. But I did it, it really happened.

I learned more about myself and who I am and what I want out of life and relationships.

My family and friends are all happy and healthy this year.

I have a lot to be grateful for in 2009. To those who are ready to usher out 2009 and the bad juju. Here is to hoping 2010 is the year of your dreams!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Christmas has ended at my house

2009-12-28T19:55:00.000-08:00

Christmas is over :( The dark nights are no longer filled with festive bright spots, the music on the radio has gone back to the "everyday", there are no more presents to buy or wrap or unwrap.

I hope everyone had a great holiday and survived the mandatory family time. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and we always laugh when we are together, yet because we know each other so well we know exactly which buttons to push to get an exact reaction. And sometimes even though you know, YOU KNOW, you shouldn't push that big flashing red button...you can't help yourself. And you push it with a smug little smile on your face and watch whichever family member you have singled out, completely implode. Generally for me it is one of my two brothers. And just as they are my favorite targets, I am theirs.

Maybe it's because we don't drink at our family get togethers (my mom is a recovering alcoholic and it is just easier to not drink at all then have the temptation laying around for her). So because we don't have drunken antics to entertain ourselves, we create other drama.

Ahhh, the holidays.

I am still amazed that it is almost 2010. Seriously where have the last 10 years gone? Do you all have exciting New Year's plans? Jen and I are planning on having a Wii party at her house. I plan to kick some serious Wii bowling ass!

I am ready for the nights to get shorter.

I am ready for payday.

I am ready for my 5 day weekend starting on Wednesday.

I am also ready for my TV shows to return. I miss Glee and Modern Family, oh and Castle.

But mostly I am ready for this horrendous headache to go away. I feel like my head is about to explode, I think that might actually hurt less than the headache I have right now.

And on that note, I am getting off the computer because it hurts to concentrate on it.

Good night lovelies and I hope you all had a great holiday and have a fabulous New Year!

***GO VANDALS!***

Only suckers work on Christmas Eve

2009-12-24T10:55:00.001-08:00

There once was a girl named E and she drank way too much coffee.

She braved the cold and fog and dark and come into the office to work the day before Christmas (she was a saint like that).

The office was dead quiet, not a keyboard was typing or a phone a ringing. Not a worker was stirring…well maybe a mouse or two were scurrying (there has been a mouse problem in the office).

She was bored to tears and wished to be home, so instead of actually working she played on the Facebook and read blogs and wrote blogs. All while wishing she was sipping rum spiked eggnog (except she doesn’t like eggnog), curled on the couch with a Jackie snuggled alongside her, Mike sitting next to her with his arm around her and presents spread before her.

Merry Christmas!

It must be in the water

2009-12-23T22:41:00.000-08:00

My best friend got married in August.

My best friend from high school just got engaged last month.

A coworker turned good friend got engaged two weeks ago.

A great friend from college became engaged this past weekend.

Another friend from college is getting married on the 30th.

My brother and his fiancé are getting married this April.

Is anyone else sensing a theme? Yeah, me too.

I can taste my envy. But it doesn’t mean I am not still super excited for everyone. I am. I just want to have that too. My heart hurts when I hear the excitement from my friends. I want it so badly. But I am still so happy for all of them and I swallow my yearning, plaster a smile on my face and become their biggest cheerleader! Because my joy for them has nothing to do with my own desires. Even as my heart aches for me, it swells with elation for all of them!

I want to get married, have the stress and excitement of planning a wedding, the thrill of trying on dresses, and the yumminess of cake tasting. But most importantly I want to start building and creating a life and future with my partner. I want to have children and create our own memories and traditions. I want to have setbacks and overdrawn checking accounts and grey hairs caused by our children and the stress they bring, but still know that we love each other and can weather these storms.

Mike and I have been together a little over 2 years. They have not always been the smoothest two years and we have had to overcome several MAJOR obstacles. We have lived together and apart. And we love each other.

There have been times when I thought...we will get married one day, I just need to give him time. And then there have been moments where I thought...we will never get married and I need to just cut my losses already (my ovaries aren’t getting any younger!).

But relationships are complicated. When you think you will be together forever something happens and rattles your confidence. Other times you are convinced your relationship is entering its final act, but you’re so wrong. Relationships are never simple, easy to explain, things. Especially when people’s emotions are involved.

This past weekend, at the Santa Pub Crawl I had a little bit to drink. A smidge if you will. And I drunkenly asked Mike if he thought we were going to get married. Without hesitation he replied, "Yes." **

Wha...’scuse me? How much did I drink?!

Let’s just say that Mike is not the poster child for commitment. He is committed now, but it was a journey. And in the past whenever I have asked him about marriage or the future, he has hemmed and hawed and the subject was quickly changed.

When he answered yes without even thinking, my aching heart gave a little lurch.

Who knows what will happen or when/if we will get married or engaged. But knowing that it is something Mike has thought about and sees happening, has my heart smiling and hoping.

**Mike clarified that that was NOT a marriage proposal :)

Santas crawl

2009-12-21T18:27:00.000-08:00

The Santa Pub Crawl was quite the hit! I had a great time, drank too much, and bragged repeatedly about my homemade dress.

I mean, if you make a dress and people tell you how much they like it throughout the night, then you have every right to brag your little heart out!

I hope everyone has a fabulous week leading up to Christmas and all your presents are bought and wrapped and your family get togethers are filled with laughter and not too much yelling.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

See, I can do crafty things

2009-12-17T17:34:00.000-08:00

So originally I was going to try and make the yarn wreath created by Gabby over at gabby, she wrote (you should totally go check out her balls). Except I couldn't find all the necessary supplies and I kind of gave up (Michael's failed me). Yeah, that's right, I gave up...for a minute. I might try again this weekend because I have discovered the essential piece of the puzzle - an 8 in metal wreath frame.

I found it at Joann Fabrics.

And I was at Joann Fabrics because when I couldn't find everything for the wreath I decided to make a dress. Yes a dress!

This Friday is the Santa Pub Crawl. Who doesn't think that sounds fun? Dressing up as Santa and meander from bar to bar and sing naughty Christmas Carols.

Except I couldn't find an outfit that did leave my butt flapping in the breeze and me looking like a sausage in the skin tight dress. When the brilliant idea of making my own dress came to me.

Here's the finished product. I am quite impressed!

Yada yada yada

2009-12-14T20:55:00.000-08:00

I am tired and cranky. And the smallest things have the ability to irritate me at the moment.

I am nerdishly excited about Sing Off. Like, super nerdy excited. Want to jump around my living room excited (my dog thinks I am crazy).

My mom bought my dog a pirate outfit. 'Cause she thinks things like that are funny like I do. He looks hilarious.

My cat might eat my face off while I am sleeping if don't start managing to feed her at the right time in the evening. I seriously fear for my life.

Cereal for dinner sometimes makes me happy. It's the simple things.

I am going to attempt to make cookies tomorrow. I say attempt because I still need to go to the store, but right now that just seems overwhelmingly exhausting so, we will see how I feel tomorrow.

And that's all I got. Peach out, yo.

Oh and P.S. I called my boyfriend to chat, hadn't talked to him all day...he quickly got off the phone because he was busy playing WoW. Awesome.

To blog or not to blog...

2009-12-07T22:42:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have something you are struggling with? Trying to figure out what to do? There are thoughts chasing each other around in your head and you can't grasp one before the next one is there, shoving it's way into your brain. And you just know that blogging about it would really help and getting comments from readers might help you see the light. It just might point you in the right direction and help you actually make a decision.

But you don't blog about it?

Because you know some of the people who actually read your blog. They are real life people who are your friends or family or partner (not that you all aren't "real people" too). And your intention in blogging is not to hurt anyone's feelings. You just want to work through whatever it is you are struggling with.

I am feeling confused about somethings in my life right now and I just want to let it all out. But I can't. Because I know who reads my blog and I love them and wouldn't want to hurt them just so I could work through my "issues".

Please send good juju my way and hopefully everything will just work itself out!

Interview with Aunt Becky

2009-12-04T15:48:00.001-08:00

Aunt Becky over at Mommy Wants Vodka is having a give away on her blog and one of the ways to be entered is to answer her most awesome questions and post them on my own blog. And I kind of want to win so, here ya go! You're welcome.

1) Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?

Nah, not really. I like my ice cream pretty plain or maybe with chocolate syrup (I also just about spelled chocolate wrong. How can I call myself a fat kid?!)

2) If you had to choose one word to banish from the English language, what would it be and why?

Well I really like words so this is hard for me, well except for the taboo words. We could get rid of those, but then people would just create new ones. Okay I really dislike cunt, so we can get rid of that one.

3) If you were a flavor, what would it be?

Sarcasm, oh wait that’s not a flavor (but it should be, sweet in the mouth, bitter in the heart).

4) What’s the most pointless annoying chore you can think of that you do on a daily/weekly basis?

Making the bed. I mean seriously, I am going to mess it up in less than 12 hours. What’s the point?

5) Of all the nicknames I’ve ever had in my life, Aunt Becky is the most widely known and probably my favorite. What’s your favorite nickname? (for yourself)

Perky. Apparently I was a really happy child and one of my little friends couldn’t pronounce Erica (it’s a 3 syllable word and that’s hard for the little peeps to handle when they are first learning to talk, yo) so he called me Erky. My nickname quickly became Perky Erky. As I got older the Erky seemed to drop off and now my mom and a few close friends from childhood call me Perky. Or Perks or Perkster, etc you get the idea. And it is also the reason for the name of my blog.

6) You’re stuck on a desert island with the collective works of 5 (and only five) musical artists for the rest of your life. Who are they?

*Mariah Carey
*Rascal Flatts
*Michael Jackson (although I would only listen to his older stuff)
*Stevie Wonder
*Britney Spears (SHUT THE HELL UP! She is entertaining and makes me smile and if I am stuck on a desert island I want some upbeat dance music.)

7) Everything is better with bacon. True or false?

True, but as a Jew I am pretty sure I am supposed to say no because bacon isn’t kosher. Good thing I don’t keep kosher! Phew!

8 ) If I could go back in time and tell Young Aunt Becky one thing, it would be that out of chaos, order will emerge. Also: tutus go with everything. What would you tell young self?

Relax, don't be so serious. And study aboard in college, take that extra year in school, you will never regret it and lots of people take more than 4 years for one degree, let alone two.

I like shiny things :)

2009-12-02T17:41:00.000-08:00

Jen and I survived Black Friday. We were up at the crack of dawn...wait, no, it wasn't even close to dawn when we were up. It became dawn as we were wrapping up our adventure. We set out at 3:30 am, armed with coffee and an agenda.

We hit 8 stores in 5 hours, including drive time and breakfast and coffee stops. And we managed to find everything on our list. We also decided that Wal-Mart is not worth it for the most part. We found the stuff we were looking for in the most random places in Wal-Mart, but we found them relatively quickly and then spent about 45 minutes in line waiting to check out, lame. Wal-Mart took us the longest and Home Depot was our quickest and most impressive store. It opened at 6am, we walked up to the door as they were opening them, slipped in through the exit, found an associate to help us find exactly what we were looking for, and checked out at customer service. It took a whooping 7 minutes! *ARM PUMP*

I have to say, that although I am not normally a fan of rising before the sun on any occasion I did enjoy Black Friday. It was fun. And we will probably do it again next year. And the KEY is to have a list and plan out which stores to hit at certain times.

Then on Sunday I hung up my Christmas lights outside. There was some arguing between myself and Mike, but in the end they were put up and all are straight and the timer is working.

And as Jen says...Nothing says the Hauks (pronounced hawk like the bird yo) like Christmas lights on the house and Hanukkah "shit" in the window. Aw yeah, aw yeah!

Don't hate. My mom may be Jewish but she loves any holiday where she can decorate her house, especially if it means she can bring out all the bells and whistles AND string lights along her roofline. And I learned from the best.

So Sunday night my house is completely decked out for the holidays. Monday morning I wake up to my alarm and feel like I have been hit by a freaking bus!

My throat is sore, my nose is all congested, my eyes are watering, and I am utterly miserable. Calling in sick on the Monday after a long weekend always makes me feel a little guilty. And I think that everyone else thinks I am really trying to sleep off a hangover (pssh, I wish).

I basically slept through all of Monday and most of yesterday. And drug my sorry sick ass into the office today. I am tired, but definitely on the mend.

When I get to the office I am clearing out my emails and there is one letting us all know that mice have invaded the building. About ten minutes after reading that email I turn to my mini filing cabinet and as I go to pull out the top drawer I hear the scrambling on little feet as they scurry away.

Awesome-sauce, I have mice in MY cubicle, in MY filing cabinet, munching on MY oatmeal packets! And no I am not scared of mice so it didn't freak me out. I am a little sad knowing they are going to be killed. I mean they are just doing what mice do, but hey, I know we really can't have them running free and loose all over the office. Besides, I want to know my oatmeal is safe.

And Christmas lights are pretty and make me happy and help me feel better.

YEA for the holidays!

Oh and P.S. My jack russell is insane and currently running around the house and growling and barking at miss Margaret (the cat). She is less than amused, but I am laughing hysterically!

Yeah, I love turkey day!

2009-11-26T08:53:00.000-08:00

I love Thanksgiving. Seriously, I love it!

I mean, what other holiday is centered solely around eating until you can't breathe, then take a nap or watch some football or take a nap while watching football, then go back for more food? I mean really?! (HELLO, Ima fat kid!)

I like that Thanksgiving is about being thankful for what you have, not focusing on what you still want. It's not a holiday about giving and receiving presents. It is about family and friends.

Sometimes I think Thanksgiving gets lost between Halloween and Christmas, but it is such an important day. Of course we should be thankful everyday, but life can get busy and we can get caught up in the daily hustle and bustle and we forget to acknowledge those things that are truly important. And Thanksgiving offers us that day to remember to be thankful.

I hope you all have a great day! And I am now off to watch the Macy's Day Parade and then it is time to get my eat on :)

**I am thankful for all of you!**

The Little Things

2009-11-23T12:38:00.000-08:00

Over at Manic Mother Beth is giving thanks for the little things. As she says, of course I am thankful for a roof over my head, food on my table, and all my friends and family. But what are the little things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving?

I used to try and post daily on myspace 5 things I was thankful for but then I started "really" blogging and kind of fell out of the habit. So, here is a list of 5 of the little things in life I am thankful for:

1. The smell of coffee brewing. Simply the smell makes me smile and my eyes crack open just a smidge more in the morning. Even when I attempt to stop drinking it, the smell is still fabulous.

2. My DVR. Completely shallow and materialistic, but it makes me happy. My life can get crazy busy, as I am sure yours can as well and it is nice to know that the shows I love and yes, crave, are there for me when I get a moment.

3. The feel of my little munchkin aka Jackie snuggled up next to me while we snooze and the little groans he makes whenever I dare to disturb him.

4. Sweater season. I love sweaters and frankly I rock the sweater look. I anxiously await the coming of fall and winter every year so I can pull out my old favorites and hit up the stores to add new additions.

5. Tweezers. As much as I hate to admit it, I have some funky chin hairs. The satisfaction I get from tweezing those bad boys is overwhelming. I hold the offending hair between my tweezers and look at it while cackling maniacally "muwah ha ha ha! I am victorious you evil chin hair!"

So what are some of the little things you are grateful for? Come play along and link up with Manic Mother! All the cool kids are doing it.

Sleeping Beauty

2009-11-08T11:55:00.000-08:00

I love sleep. Like, seriously love it. Maybe my love of it comes from not always being able to get it. Having nights where I toss and turn or wake up every few hours.

Weekends make me happy because I don't have to set an alarm. I can wake up leisurely and on my own time...well okay the animals who choose to live with me occasionally demand to be fed or let out to go potty. Gah, they are SOOOO demanding!

This morning I slept in later than I normally do, mainly because I stayed up way later than my usual 11pm bedtime. As I slowly came to consciousness, registering the light peeking through my blinds, the sounds of the world being awake around me, I felt the warmth of my munchkin aka Jackie snuggled next to me. It made me smile. He is the best little snuggler and my own personal space heater. Then I opened my eyes and what do I see? Jack Russell butt inches from my face! Not his best side.

He is now laying on my bed licking his butt. Little butthead (ha ha, see what I did there) why does he have to lick his butt on my bed? There is a reason he has a DOG bed!

Oh well, he knows he's cute and he knows that allows him to get away with things like sticking his butt in my face first thing in the morning and then licking said butt on my bed.

Sticks and Stones...

2009-11-03T21:02:00.000-08:00

...may break my bones but words can never hurt me.

This is a lie. Words can hurt the most and leave wounds and scars much deeper than those left by sticks and stones. Some words can leave festering wounds that only appear to have healed, but that can be ripped open with the tiniest whisper. Some words are deemed to have so much negative power that it is taboo to speak them.

They are words that strike at the core of who you are. They attack an essential aspect of your being, your make up, your you-ness. They attack a part that is integral in who you are, but also a part that you have no control over. A part that was not picked, but a part that you were born with. The part of you that carries all your family history and that part of you that will pass onto future generations.

The other day I was called a cheap Jew, after I had been told to take my star of David and shove it. It was hurled angrily at me by a person I considered a friendly acquaintance. It was thrown out with the sole intention of causing hurt and pain. It was a sucker punch to the gut, a low blow.

The hurt was instantaneous and the rage was only half a second behind. I was livid.

ASSHOLE! HE CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF!

Then the red haze began to lift and I realized he was sad and pathetic. He knew he had nothing else with which to hurt me so he went to this dark ugly place. He is unhappy with his life and chose to lash out at me in such a way because that was his only weapon.

And that is when I realized all he warranted from me was pity. He is a sad, small little man. He is nothing to me and he doesn't matter anymore in my life.

My Jew self is awesome!

And P.S. Jerkface, I'm a broke Jew, not a cheap Jew. There's a difference, learn it.

What not to be for halloween...Donkey Punch

2009-11-02T10:49:00.000-08:00

So, it’s Monday. And I am at work. Monday is a total bitch! And that lotto needs to hurry up and pick my numbers…although I might have a better chance of winning if I ACTUALLY bought a ticket. But whatevs.

I had a great weekend. I went to the UO vs USC football game and since I am a Duck fan, I thoroughly enjoyed the game and the crushing defeat handed to the Trojans  Mike’s brother Pete on the other hand was probably much less amused by the outcome of the game as he is a USC alum and fan.

My future sister in law, Kelsey, also got to attend the game and it was her very first Duck game ever. I am so glad it was such a great game for her to see. My favorite quote of hers was after she had the woman behind us take her picture with the field in the background “Thank you for making my fiancé SO jealous right now!” And it’s true! My brother was completely jealous that he had to work and was unable to attend the game or any game because he is always working on Saturdays. He won’t say he cried when he found out Kelsey was going to the game, but his chin did quiver.

Sam is a crazy scary Duck fan. He is the person who yells at the TV and stands during the whole game…at home, watching on TV. For reals, it is actually pretty entertaining.

Since the game was on Halloween there were even stranger costumes and get ups than are normally present for games. And the one that made the biggest impression…Donkey Punch girl.

DPG boarded the bus at the bar with the rest of us and had to stand in the aisle because there were no seats available. The mere fact that she was able to stand and NOT spill her drink on anyone was impressive. She was so faded that I was surprised when we spotted her at half time and she was still upright and walking around.

Ah college, when we are all in our drinking prime and able to drink all day and still be semi functional. I am not even close to my drinking prime anymore. And that is A-OK!

Anywasted, DPG had donkey ears on her head, her Oregon t-shirt rolled up under her boobs and wife beater underneath with DONKEY PUNCH written in sharpie across her stomach. On her left hand was a blue boxing glove and attach to that with packing tape was a cup holder (smart thinking). In her cup holder was some mixed drink with a straw…which she repeatedly struggled to find when she tried to take a drink. To top off her ensemble were the fake donkey teeth. Every once in awhile during the ride from the bar to the stadium she would pull out the teeth and fling spit/alcoholic beverage onto the people sitting in the seats nearby. Way to keep is classy. Also keeping it classy…when she proceeded to explain to a crowded bus what exactly a Donkey Punch is. Picture of DPG provided for your enjoyment.

You're welcome!

Thursday Thoughts

2009-10-22T21:55:00.000-07:00

*Grey's Anatomy always makes me cry. ALWAYS.

*I love watching my dog's pure enjoyment when we go on our daily walks.

*Sometimes even when you aren't alone you can still be lonely.

*I want to snuggle/cuddle right now and Jackie is snuggled up to my side :)

*Rejection hurts

*I love that when I make spaghetti it lasts me a few days. I really like spaghetti

*It makes my eye twitch when people spell ridiculous as rEdiculous.

*I am super excited about going to New York for a week in November. I am going to try and go see Wicked and that has me WICKED excited!!!

Wednesday What-nots with Jen

2009-10-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

*Last night while watching the Biggest Loser (side note: cannot STAND Tracy) Jen decided to see how hard jumping up onto the step would really be. Only she didn’t have step, so she chose the ottoman. It’s a squishy ottoman. I reminded her that the key is to make sure she bends her legs to get the clearance and swing her arms so she has enough momentum…because you know, I am a professional trainer and stuff. Anyway, Jen gets into her crouch position, swings her arms, and leaps. She made it, landed with both feet on the ottoman and promptly fell backwards off the ottoman, still in her crouch position, onto the floor. Because the ottoman was squishy on top it didn’t allow her the chance to catch her balance.

IT. WAS. HILARIOUS.

I almost peed my pants laughing so hard and at one point I stopped breathing and my face turned bright red. I am surprised none of her neighbors came to check on us because as she was falling backwards we both let out loud horrified screams and then burst into cackling laughter once we realized she hadn’t hurt herself. I am sure her husband Brad thought we were insane. And he would be right.

*Earlier in the day when Jen came home for lunch, she couldn’t find her dog (he was our dog when we lived together, but she got him and the Charmed DVD series in the divorce, but I still totally have visitation rights). He was supposed to be out back or in the garage, but was nowhere to be found. She called me and told me the situation and I put on some shoes and a sweatshirt and told her I would be right there. I live down the block from her. I opened the door and turned the corner to head toward her street and there was Jack sniffing around the neighbor’s yard looking like a drowned rat because it had been raining all morning. I returned Jack to a very relieved Jen. Apparently the side gate blew open at some point in the morning and Jack decided to go exploring in the neighborhood and to see if his Momma Erica was home. Thankfully no one stole him. He is a pretty cool dog.

*Jen’s niece T is coming to visit this weekend, well she is flying in today actually. T is 12 and we are going to spoil her rotten! It is going to be awesome.

I say nom nom nom to cheeseburgers

2009-10-10T22:06:00.001-07:00

I was guilted into getting a salad a Carl’s Jr. Lame!

Okay, so I have been trying to lose some weight and eat a little healthier.

I went over to Mike’s this evening. We hung out and watched some aka A LOT of college football (I think LSU is waaaaay overrated). Then decided to go to Home Depot and get hardware for my gates…that have yet to be made or installed, 3 weeks later. But I am not bitter, much.

As we were leaving Homies Mike asked me if I had eaten dinner yet and when I said no he suggested going through the drive thru at Carl’s Jr. Sounded good to me and I knew he really didn’t have any food over at his place (well, there was food, but it all had to be made and would take more time than I wanted to spend on making something to eat).

We get to the speaker and I tell Mike I want the #1 aka The Famous Star Burger meal. He looks at me and says, “They have chicken sandwiches, look. Or salad. The charbroiled chicken salad looks good. Do you want to try that?”

I think about the cheeseburger and I know, I KNOW, the salad is the better option. So I agree.

Mike tells the woman that is all and starts to drive toward the window and says…

“I had their Bacon Cheeseburger earlier today.”

Me, while giving a death glare, “asshole!”

The salad was good, but not as yummy as the burger and fries would have been.

Kevin Bacon and his 6 degrees of separation can suck it.

2009-10-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

The scary thing about evil is that you never see it coming. Evil people don’t wear signs or have horns. They look just like you and me. They blend and they pass. And we never know they are coming until it is too late. You can’t see true evil and that scares the shit out of me.

I deal with drama and see people who have crazy chaotic lives. I have seen a mother so addicted to meth that she didn’t care about the child growing inside her, she just needed her next fix. I have seen women bruised and beaten and terrified and lost, trying to find the way out. I have seen and known people who were killed by those who claimed to love them. I have heard horrific stories parents tell me about the trauma their children have suffered at the hands of adults. I have seen a woman so scared of her child’s father finding out where they live and killing them she refused to obtain original birth certificates for her and her child so they could qualify for health insurance. I have seen adolescents living on the streets because their parents have kicked them out for being gay. I have seen and heard all kinds of atrocities. But they have all been experienced with some detachment.

They were all experiences I had while I was working. It was my job to help and offer solutions and provide resources. And while these stories were all tragic in their own way, I learned early on to detach. I couldn’t help them if I was a blubbering mess. And I couldn’t afford to lose a piece of my soul to each one of their stories. There would be nothing left of me if I let each one of these stories touch me personally. It may seem harsh, but self preservation is also important. I know there is evil in the world, I am reminded daily of its existence, I still try and keep it at bay.

But when you realize you or someone you love has brushed up alongside evil, it turns your insides cold. Your heart pounds and your breath stops and you are terrified. You are rocked to your very core.

Six degrees of separation is not even remotely far enough.

Darrin Daily is evil.

Wednesday What-nots

2009-10-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

• Do you ever forget your phone, but you still feel or hear phantom rings and are convinced someone is calling you? I wonder if that is what if feels like when you lose an arm or a leg and you have a phantom limb…only a phantom phone is not as tragic as a phantom limb. And yes I am most likely going to hell.

• I want a blackberry so bad I can taste it. I also know it is not really practical at this exact moment to get one. But it is painful everyday I am without one :(

•I was called childish by a man who logged into his wife’s facebook page and updated her status to say I was childish. Um, what? Idiot.

• I should be in charge running the world.

• I should also be independently wealthy so I don’t have to work

• Is anyone else obsessed with facebook game applications? I love Mafia Wars.

• Every show created by Joss Whedon, I love. I also completed watching the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and am now working on Angel.

• I made applesauce from scratch and it was SUPER easy. Who knew?

• I am going to get back into blogging if it kills me

Are you there Blogosphere? It's me, E.

2009-09-21T15:17:00.001-07:00

I have been in a blog writing funk. It started when I was in the process of moving because, well, I didn’t have internet for about two weeks. Of course I had internet at work, but we are only supposed to be on it for minimal amounts of time and I already push that limit, without trying to add blogging.

And then I was also busy, yanno, moving and unpacking and getting settled and setting up times to get my cable and internet and get all my utilities in my name and buying a new car, etc etc. And now that I have my internet back, I just haven’t felt like blogging.

That’s not entirely true. I have blog ideas swirling through my head and of course they are all awesome, but I just can’t seem to make myself sit down and write them out. I also want to get a picture of my house all completed, but my camera thingy that gets the pictures off the camera and onto my computer has been misplaced in the shuffle of moving.

Another thing that happened while I was moving…I seem to have a developed a Buffy the Vampire Slayer addiction. I have managed to watch 5 seasons and am now well into the 6th (there are only a total of 7 seasons for all you none Buffy watchers) and it has only been about 3 ½ weeks! I just want to know what happens and every spare minute or hour is spent squeezing in an episode of Buffy. When my BF calls to see what I am up to, I am sure he is not at all surprised when I reply with “watching Buffy” or when Jen comes over (because she only lives down the block from me now) I know she isn’t the least surprised that Buffy is on the TV.

I am obsessed. Fortunately I know that I am almost done with the series and my regular fall programming is coming back so I will be able to move on. I was just never a Buffy watcher before. Why? I have no clue since I LOVE Angel and watched it all the time and was heartbroken when they ended the series. In fact I love all the shows created by Joss Whedon. So, why the hell am I just now discovering the awesomeness that is Buffy?!

I have missed all my blog buddies, but the thing I have come to love about the blogosphere is that everyone is still waiting for you when you come back. It’s okay to take a break and deal with real life for a minute and no one will judge you here.

So, thanks for sticking with me. I know I have been silent for awhile. I still do read all your blogs and have been keeping up with all of your lives. As my life settles back down and I fall back into my routine, I know that I will be back and blogging with the best of you!

P.S. Pictures of the house coming soon!

It's Football Season!

2009-09-03T22:09:00.000-07:00

College Football started today. I am less than impressed with my Ducks in their season opener against Boise State. While I am 99% sure the Vandals will not beat Boise State, I was hoping the Duckies would :( And as any true University of Idaho Vandal can tell you...Boise is NOT a State.

*Why is Boise State's turf blue aka smurf turf?
- To keep the cheerleaders from grazing

**Who do we hate?
- BOISE STATE!

***What do we eat?
- Bronco Meat!

Yeah in case you couldn't tell I am not a Boise State Bronco fan. I am a 100% VANDAL (even though they super suck, I am not a fare weather fan)

P.S. I am still without the internetz until next Wed. Currently I am at the BF's and using his internetz and his cable.

Moving is Effing expensive!

2009-09-01T09:08:00.000-07:00

I am in the process of moving into my new house. It currently does not have internet (or cable or blinds or food...but internet is most important).

I promise I have pictures of the completed house that I will posted. I will post about the move itself. And I still need to tell you all about the awesome bachelorette party I threw for my BFF and her even more FABULOUS wedding.

I promise to be back soon!

~E

A room without books is like a body without a soul

2009-08-27T21:43:00.000-07:00

I love books. No, really, I LOVE books. I. LOVE. BOOKS.

I love to go into bookstores and just think about all the stories waiting to envelope me. Sometimes I will wonder up and down the aisles, running my hands along their spines until one just speaks to me. Used bookstores have the smell of books well loved. There is no such thing as too many books.

There are books in every room in my house. Literally. Even the bathroom has a book or two.

So here I was tonight, wasting time surfing the internet and looking for new blogs to read, since I have read all my current subscriptions. Either I read too much, or you all don't post often enough ;) I am going to go with the former.

AnyWAY, I stumbled upon this little gem and I am going to share it with you all, even though I don't want any of you to win the book because I want it. Without further ado I give you Sara of Sara's Organized Chaos and she is GIVING AWAY A BOOK!

Don't these books make you smile! I rilly rilly rilly want one.

P.S. I totally snaked this photo from her blog. I hope she doesn't mind.

30 years and counting

2009-08-26T21:47:00.000-07:00

Today is my parents 30th wedding anniversary. I hope they had a special day and I wish them 30 more years together. They'd be almost 90 but it's totally doable. And at the point they will both probably be senile and just be happy there is someone else there to wipe their ass and remind them where they left their teeth.

I know they have not always had an easy road together. There have been tears and fights and triumphs and three amazing kids (if I do say so myself). I hope to be them one day.

AND...do the math bitches, I'm the oldest child at 28, that makes me 100% legit! Booyah!

I hope we all are lucky enough to find what my parents have.

Sleep study = no sleep for E

2009-08-25T18:20:00.000-07:00

The awesomeness that is a sleep study:

My sleep study was originally planned for Friday night. I figured even if I didn't get a good night's sleep then I could rest up on Saturday. No, not so much. They called Friday afternoon to let me know that the technician was sick and could I move my study to Sunday. Okay, fine, whatevs...

Sunday, I am supposed to be there at 8pm. I leave my house late and get slowed down even more by an accident. I am late and already stressed. Boo.

I walk into the waiting room and there are two old men waiting for their studies and I notice they both have pillows along with their bag of personal items. MONKEY'S BALLS! I forgot my pillow! Of course they have pillows there but they asked us to bring our own so we would be more comfortable. I am off to a great start.

*Also I am missing Big Brother, True Blood, and Hung while I am at this sleep study. They should totally give me a medal!

I am taken back to the room and the technician explains what all is going to be happening and I even get to watch a nifty video. Yawn. The technician tells me that she will be back around 9:30 to get me all hooked up and I will be ready to go to sleep.

I get into my PJs, read my book for a little bit and then the technician is back and she has a grip of wires and electrodes, etc etc.

I am hooked up to every monitor ever created by humankind. It took 30-45 minutes to get them all attached. There were nine placed all over my head, in my hair, with glue. There was one on either side of my eyes, snore monitor (awesomeness) stuck to my throat, two thingies on my forehead, and another on my chin. In addition I had an electrode attached to either calf, wires going up through my pants, up the back of my t-shirt and out the neck. To monitor how much effort I used to breathe, there was a strap around my chest and another around my gut (yes, my gut also sometimes called my waist or stomach). To top off the fabulousness, I had the tubing they use to give patients oxygen, across my upper lip, except it was to monitor my air output when I breathed out instead of blowing air in. All the wires and tubing were collected into a kind of ponytail at the neck of my t-shirt.

What? Where is the photo? HA HA HA, you are so funny. There is no photo evidence, well at least from me. I was frightened just looking in the mirror. No one needs to see that. EVER.

It is important to remember at this point that I am the world's lightest sleeper. And I am now expected to go to sleep with wires stuck all over my face on my legs, in an unfamiliar place, in a unfamiliar bed, and it is all being filmed.

That shiz better never end up on YouTube!

I am told I can go to sleep in whatever position I normally do, but that after I have been asleep for awhile they will tell me (through an intercom) to roll over onto my back. *E* does not equal back sleeper. Also, if I need to get up at all during the night I have to say, "I need to get up" and wait for the technician to come into the room and disconnect me from the wall.

Have I mentioned how awesome this is going to be? Not only am I so outside my comfort zone I need a passport, but now I am all paranoid about being filmed. I don't know what I do while I am sleeping!

11:00pm - lights out

11:30pm - finally fall asleep on my side

12:00am - woken up by the technician telling me over the intercom to turn over onto my back

1:15am - Technician tells me I can go back to sleeping on my side since I have been tossing and turning and trying to fall asleep for over an hour on my back and it's not working.

2:00am - Technician comes into the room, I wake up immediately. She tells me she is turning on the fan because the room is getting too warm and they don't want me sweating too much...the electrode thingies might come off if I do that.

3:30am - Technician comes back into the room to check my nose breathing thing because she isn't getting a reading from the left nostril. It had slipped off my ear and out of my nostril.

4:00am - I have to pee. I wait for the technician to come disconnect me, go pee and climb back into the bed, takes about 20 minutes to fall back asleep.

6:15am - Technician back in the room to wake me up for the day.

It takes her about 15 minutes to get all the things stuck all over my body disconnected and then she tackles the glue patches throughout my hair. She did manage to get most of it out, but there were two blue patches in the middle of my part.

I get home and so tired I can't even think about going to work at 8am. I crawl into my own bed, snuggled up with the kitties and pass the eff out until 11am. It is safe to say that Monday was not my most productive day at work.

I really hope they got all the information they needed because if they tell me I have to do another sleep study I may stab someone in the eye.

P.S. BF finding the blog is not bad, it just means I will have to be more aware of what I say about him and our relationship :)

sleep study schmeep study

2009-08-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

I had a sleep study last night. But I am so tired right now because I didn't sleep well at all. So I will tell you all about it tomorrow.

For realz!

P.S. my BF just found my blog...

Misc

2009-08-21T10:42:00.001-07:00

*Today is the final walk through on my house

*I have my full sleep study tonight (makes me nervous)

*I close on my house on Monday

*My washer and dryer and fridge are being delivered on Tuesday

*I will start moving next week and the following weekend

*The week after next I will no longer be living with my boyfriend

Riding the cotton pony

2009-08-19T21:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Period,

You suck! I hate you! You are lucky that I plan to have children one day or you would be in BIG trouble. Huge, ginormous, you don't even know. You don't EVEN. KNOW!

If you insist on making a monthly visit, do you have to be suck a bitch about it? I mean really.

Of course there have been times (like once or twice) where I am anxiously awaiting your arrival and becoming ~~scared shitless~~ more and more stressed as I wait. And then you appear, and that month you are my best friend. And I love you and welcome you with open arms.

But usually you are evil. Let me list the ways in which you make my life hell:

*Cramping
*Bloating
*Chocolate craving ('cause when I am already feeling bloated and emotional, I should really eat more candy)
*Period poops (I mean REALLY?! is that necessary? Seriously?)
*Channeling my inner Diana Ross Diva
*Crying at the drop of the hat - dog food commercial, yep made me cry
*Nipples that hurt

It has been 17 years, can't we work something out?

Sincerely,
E

Going to the Chapel

2009-08-14T22:27:00.000-07:00

My best friend Jen is getting married tomorrow. Right now we are chilling in the Hilton (the hotel, not Paris) on the 11th floor enjoying the view of Eugene. I am so excited! Here are some shots of us at the bachelorette party, that I still haven't posted about.

We went rollerskating, we weren't aware we were supposed to be naked!

She was really excited about rollerskating and all the other fun to come this night!

We made sure she wore proper attire for the festivities

This what she looks like after a blow job (the shot people, the shot). There were 5 bachelorettes there and Jen smoked them all with her mad skills!

Seriously I don't want to be spiderman or woman.

2009-08-11T20:26:00.000-07:00

Dood, seriously I almost got eaten by a spider last night. For realz!

There I was, laying in bed when I had to pee. I set my book down, climbed out of bed, and headed to the bathroom.

Now in the bathroom I sit down and pee. Now it's time for toilet paper. I could do this in my sleep, hell I basically have done this in my sleep, in the middle of the night, in the dark. My hand stretches out toward the toilet paper and at the last second I turn my head to see what I am doing. AND THERE IS A FUCKING SPIDER ON THE ROLL OF TOILET PAPER!

*Uh, have I mentioned my GINORMOUS phobia of spiders? Yeah, I got one of those. And somehow someone sometime convinced me to watch Arachnophobia...doesn't help when you are already terrified of the 8 legged freaks. Not cool.

I yank my hand back so fast I hit myself in the nipple (that hurt). A terrified squeal leaves my lips and I sit there frozen, panties around my ankles. What do I do? What do I do? I then spy a roll of paper towels on the bathroom counter. It was a little rougher than I would like ideally, but it did the trick and I was able to get off the toilet without having to drip dry and run for my life.

Now that I am no longer stuck on the toilet and I have put my big girl panties back on I am feeling braver. And that spider isn't going to win and be left to run willy nilly around the house, waiting to attack my unsuspecting ass. GAME ON!

I wad up the biggest wad of paper towels ever and turn toward the toilet paper to wage my battle. I cautiously approach, but my bravado falters and I hesitate with the wad of paper towel hovering above the spider, who hasn't moved the entire time.

As I am hovering, working up the courage to actually squish the spider, the little fucker lifts his butt and jumps at me. JUMPS AT ME! JUMPS!

Fortunately I have lightening quick reflexes and was able to leap (in a single bound) onto the bathtub and to safety, while screaming hysterically.

After what felt like an hour hovered on the tub edge I decide to look for the spider that is now on the floor somewhere. But first I ran into the bedroom and acquired the proper spider killers aka shoes. Armed with flip flops I venture back into the bathroom. It took a little bit but finally I found him. Just sitting there in camo on the tile floor. I know he was just waiting for me to come back and sit on the toilet and he would jump me for real this time. Oh no, I wasn't having none of that!

With a dramatic flourish I squished his spider ass with my shoe.

So, I have a fat pack. It's like the rat pack only not.

2009-08-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

Yeah, and I'm not talking about my tummy!

I am the world's lightest sleeper. It takes me forever to fall asleep, the slightest noise will wake me up. I regularly sleep with ear plugs. I hardly ever feel rested in the morning. I drink coffee in the morning to get the caffeine boost to try and make it through the day. I am ALWAYS tired, but I never nap because it only makes it harder for me to fall asleep at night.

Finally, I decided to go have a consultation with the Sleep Disorder Center.

The Dr asks me questions about my sleeping habits, bed time, caffeine and other stimulant use. Then he looks in my throat.

He whips out his little light thingie, I stick my tongue out and say "ahhhhh". Then he asks me if I still have my tonsils. I was a little surprised because my tonsils are not small, I have had other Dr's exclaim, "Wow, those are huge!" Awesome, just what every girl wants to hear, not only do I have be self conscious about the size of my ass, but now I have to worry about my HUGE tonsils!

"Yes. In fact they are rather large from what I have been told. They almost took them out when I was younger because I would always get strep throat." I replied.

"Hmm. Okay let me look again." This time he pulls out the tongue depressor and I open up again and say "Ahhhh"

"Oh yeah, there they are."

We talk some more about possible reasons for my sleep issues, including my asthma, seasonal allergies, blah blah blah.

Then he says he thinks I might have a minor case of sleep apnea, but not to the point where I stop breathing or my oxygen levels actually drop. He says because of my height and weight aka because I am a fatty (but I was happy he didn't call me fat or obese. Kudo points to him) they know I have a fat pack at the back of my throat and that is why he didn't see my tonsils the first time. My fat pack hid them.

Isn't that what every girl wants hear? They have a fat pack in their throat. I didn't realize I needed to be worried about my throat gaining weight!

So anyWAY. I have a fat pack and this narrows my airway from front to back, but I also have GINORMOUS tonsils (he told me I would have been better off if they had removed my tonsils as a child) that narrow my airway from side to side. When I am sleeping I am breathing through a very narrow opening and to top it off I am also very asthmatic.

The Dr. thinks that the reason I am such a light sleeper is because I will take one deep breath and then a bunch of shallow ones and my body is never able to fall into deep sleep. I am always just in the light part of sleep and thus easily awoken and never feel refreshed.

Thanks to my huge tonsils and fat pack - I have a full sleep study scheduled for the 21st. I have to check in at 8pm, they will hook me up to every conceivable probe/electrode, put me in a dark quiet room and tell me to go to sleep. On my back. I am not a back sleeper, ever. It will be interesting to see if I sleep much at all during the study.

**I tried to find a picture of a fat pack, but was unsuccessful. I will try and get one at the Sleep Center.

More house pics

2009-08-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

And some more for your viewing pleasure:

My pretty cabinets. I picked them out and everything.

My bathroom with no toilet...yet

The tiled entryway

Marking my territory

My mom is holding up the shutter so I could see what it would look like. And my dad is supervising. What? Yeah, he is wearing a straw hat. that's how he rolls, yo!

The House Yo!

2009-08-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

Here are some updated photos on the progress of my house. In case you haven't been paying attention, I am all set to close on August 24th. It is exciting and terrifying all at once. Enjoy and feel free to comment on how awesome my house is, it makes me smile ;)

Blogger is being dumb and won't let me post all the pictures in this post so now there are two posts.

To tip or not to tip

2009-08-01T20:55:00.000-07:00

This post all started with a blizzard...

I believe in tipping. Tip Karma is so important! I believe in tipping for good service. I tip and I tip well and if I feel I have received exceptional service I tip exceptionally well.

People I tip:

*Servers - many servers in many states don't even earn the federal minimum wage and are expected to make up the rest in tips.

*Hair stylist - okay, my hairstylist is marrying my brother soon, but I would tip her anyway. This is the person in charge of making my hair fabulous and she has scissors near my head. Of course I want to show my appreciation for her skill.

*Esthetician (aka waxer)- Anyone coming at me with hot wax, aimed at sensitive areas, whether it's my eyebrows or my girly areas deserves a tip. I don't want to make them angry. EVER!

*Barista - 1. Anyone who is able to talk to me first thing in the morning before I have had any coffee, with a smile on their face deserves a tip. Me + Morning + No Coffee = CRAZY OGRE. 2. They get up WAAAAAY earlier than me, that in itself deserves a tip!

*Food delivery person - Pssh, they are bringing my food TO MY DOOR!

*Bartenders - Hello, they are making my drink, nuf said!

People I don't tip

*Gas attendants (I live in a state where gas is pumped for us) - They are doing their job. They are not going out of their way to be helpful. I am legally not allowed to pump my own gas. They have not gone above and beyond what is expected.

*Fast food worker - They have not come to my table to take my order, they have not delivered my meal to my table, they do not come and check to see how I am doing. I walk up to the counter, place my order and take my tray to my table and then bus my own table. Where in there have they earned a tip?

The other night Mike and I headed to Dairy Queen for blizzards. And we used the drive thru. When we arrived at the window there was a jar on the ledge and it said, "Tips are always appreciated". Wha...? Huh? Seriously? Are they for reals right now? Why do they think what they have done warrants a tip? I didn't even get OUT of my car and all they did was hand me a bag with my order out a WINDOW. The only tip I ever got when I worked the Wendy's Drive Thru was "stay in school or this could be your job indefinitely." Excellent advice by the way.

Like I said, I am all for tipping and tipping well when it is earned and deserved, but there has to be a line. Or eventually we will be tipping for every little thing.

Who do you tip?
Who do you not tip?
And why?

I love fridays!

2009-07-31T08:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, so last night's post was a little Debbie Downer, but having let all of that out, I feel somewhat lighter.

And besides...IT'S FRIDAY!

And I totally think I need to win this little giveway from ♥Aubrey. I mean really I could use a little pampering!

I will have to post pictures of my house since that last ones where just of the foundation. I have walls and a roof and cement porches and patios and driveways (okay, only one driveway). They painted the inside yesterday and my cabinets are up. BUT most exciting of all, my closing date is set for August 24! That is just around the corner.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

2009-07-30T21:33:00.000-07:00

I have found myself close to tears almost everyday for the last week. The smallest thing can make me just want to burst into tears. I have even cried myself to sleep several nights in a row.

Everything is changing and I don't do change well. I am closing on my house August 24th and that means I will be moving out of my boyfriend's house. I will be living on my own for the first time ever. I will be a home owner and that is just terrifying.

My boyfriend and I have reached a crossroads in our relationship. At this point he should be able to tell me if he sees us getting married one day or if he wants children one day. And he can't. That hurts. But I know I don't have to convince anyone to marry me. One day I will find someone who thinks the sun shines out of my ass. I know that once I move out we most likely won't be together much longer.

But I still want him to act like he is going to miss me for more than the rent money I paid him. I want to feel like I was important to him and that he enjoyed our time living together. I want to know I mattered to him and I can't just be replaced easy breezy. While I know he will miss me and I know he loves me as much as he is able, he doesn't really say much about me leaving. Does it mean he doesn't care? Does it mean he wants pretend it's not really happening because he doesn't want to deal with his feelings? I don't know.

I am also trying to get a new job. I am stagnating in my current position. I dread going in to work most days because I get so bored. I really want this new position. But I am so shy around new people and interviewing is not my strong suit. I get so flustered. I can do this job and I can do it very very well. The key is getting the position. I want it so badly!

On top of that our union has renegotiated our contract. We are not getting any cost of living adjustment, our step increases have been frozen for the coming year, and to top it all off we are going to have to take furloughs (mandatory unpaid days off). Because of my income level I will be required to take 12 furloughs. I am only $14 away from having to take 14. Learning I am going to be taking about a 5% pay cut right as I am getting ready to take on the responsibility of a home owner makes me break out into a panicked sweat.

Everything is changing and changing fast for me. I am trying to take it all in stride, but part of that stride apparently is me crying my way through.

Relay for Life 2009

2009-07-26T14:06:00.000-07:00

For several years I have wanted to participate in Relay for Life and this year I decided to actually DO something. I created a team and jumped through all the hoops. My team of 9 fundraised almost $1000 in a 3 month span. The local event was this weekend. It went from noon on Friday to noon on Saturday.

I am so proud of my team, we kicked ass! Each team is required to have a team member walking the track at all times and it was HOT this weekend. Three of us set up our tent site starting at 10:30 Friday morning and it was already quite warm. It wasn't long until I was drenched in sweat (totally sexy, I know).

I had a total of 3.5 hrs of sleep. I walked 12 miles in the 24 hr period and I definitely feel it! I managed to not get a sunburn except for the tops of my hands and the tip of my nose, sunscreen is my best friend. That (not getting a sunburn) is a miracle in and of itself. That's what I do when exposed to sun, burn, but not this weekend.

My right hip has reminded me of the soccer injury from years ago when I tore my hip muscle, my knees have reminded me of all the knee injuries I suffered over the 12 years of serious soccer playing. My body hurts. But of all the aches and pains, the thing that hurts the most are my blisters. My poor feet! Last night they were so swollen I almost couldn't put my flip flops on.

I need a pedicure, fo sho!

My left foot, this was a blister on top of a blister

My right foot, this blister hurt a LOT!

This is a continuation of the right foot blister, it went up between my toes :(

Pull the thread and the sweater unravels.

2009-07-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovelies,

I know I haven't been very active lately, but my world 'in real life' has been super busy.

*My best friend is getting married in less than 4 weeks, last weekend was her bachelorette party (post on that to come...I swear!). And there are lots of little things I am trying to help her with in the coming weeks.

*I am in the process of having a house built and it is going to be completed early. So, I have been trying to get everything in order for that. Including buying a refrigerator and front loading washer/dryers (I know, my hippie is showing)

*This weekend is Relay For Life and I am the team captain and have been working feverishly to get everything in order for that.

*I work 40 hours a week

*I am applying for a developmental position that will hopefully turn into a permanent position and my application and cover letter and supplemental questions are all due on Thursday.

*Things in my personal life are difficult and have only been adding to my stress level. I am sure there will be a post on this as well, but I don't know when. I don't know when I want to share all of that.

I feel like I am juggling so many balls and I just know one is going to drop and it will all come tumbling down. I just need a second to breathe, yet I can't seem to find one.

Thanks for bearing with me!

~E

May cause drunk texting

2009-07-18T08:50:00.000-07:00

My best friend Jen is getting married 4 weeks from today. So tonight we are celebrating the end of her singledom (okay, she has been part of a happy couple for over 2 and half years, but you know what I mean). As her maid of honor I was responsible for throwing her the most KICK ASS bachelorette party evah! And I think I have succeeded...if I am coherent enough tomorrow I will try to post a recap.

To celebrate Jen, today I have rented out the local skating rink. There will be about 12 of us and we get the rink all to ourselves for two hours. I am sure we will rock out to the raddest 80's songs, some cheesy early 90's. And of course you can't roller skate without doing the Hokey Pokey! While at the rink we will enjoy ice cream cake and cotton candy, okay, the cotton candy is iffy.

After we finish with skating we are heading off to dinner. Mexican food is yummy! There we will down margaritas, see just how red Jen can turn as she opens all the inappropriate porn shop gifts, and get evil glares from other diners because we are giggling so obnoxiously. It will be great.

When dinner is finished and we have all fully embraced the fun and festive ambiance, we will all head over to our friends, Amber & Beth's house where we will freshen up for a night on the town.

One of my co-workers also moonlights as a limo driver so he hooked me up with a sweet deal and is going to drive us around town to all the bars in this bad boy:

Martine assured me that he would have the limo FULLY LOADED, champagne toasts here we come. We are going to paint this town as red as Jen's face.

I am so excited! I hope you all have just as fabulous a day as I am anticipating.

P.S. The photo of the limo was taken in the city where I live. I live in such a beautiful State. It is just a short 10 minute drive for me to get to that exact location. Isn't that view gorgeous?!

He's a dog and hates reading

2009-07-12T00:03:00.000-07:00

So I guess my dog Jackie is mad at me because he was left home all day. I was out with my best friend Jen today running errands for her wedding. And then we practiced making bouquets and put together her center pieces. It was an all day adventure. I headed out about 11am and came home to feed the dogs and let them out around 6:30pm, then headed back to Jen's about 7:15pm. This isn't a completely unusual time period for the dogs to be home unsupervised. Well, apparently today Jackie took exception. This is what I came home to tonight at about 11pm.

They don't even look the slightest bit apologetic. Bastards!

Jackie did not care for reproductive advice...maybe because he's neutered. This book used to be 'Pathways to Pregnancy and Parturition'. (I have an Animal Science Degree, I was gonna go to vet school and animal husbandry was a required course and I have always found genetics and reproduction fascinating.)

Jackie also destroyed Animal Breeding and two other books about horses.

I was so mad I was in tears. I called both Jen and Mike in tears just to tell someone else how upset I was. And the worst part...even though I wanted to yell at Jackie, I knew he wouldn't understand why he was being yelled at. And it's not like you can explain to the dog why what they did was wrong. But I scolded anyway.

I think Jackie is also mad because Mike has been gone since Wednesday. So all his people were gone today. Now Jackie is going back to his crate training...boo. I also know it was Jackie because I have seen him pull down a book before (not since last Sept, thought he had grown out of this bad habit) and before we got Jackie, my books were never in danger. Shadow had no interest in them. He just wants any food that may have been left out.

*Sigh* Ok, I am off to blow my nose, wash my face, and pet my dog and let him know he is still loved.

So it's been a long couple of days...

2009-07-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

But tonight:

DVRed Tour de France - Check

Now onto So You Think You Can Dance - Check

Alcoholic libation - Check

Pasta Alfredo - Check

Yeah, tonight is gonna be a good night!

WORD.

I like to watch

2009-07-06T18:45:00.000-07:00

The Tour de France you pervs, the Tour de France!

Mind. Gutter. Out.

My love affair with the Tour began five summers ago. I had just moved back to Oregon after being in Idaho for school. My best friend and I had moved together and when we moved back we were both unemployed and living with my parents. There was nothing to watch during the day except Soap Operas and I just couldn't get into those and you could only fill out so many job applications. Then one day I turned on the TV and there was the Tour. I was hooked.

It was the Tour de France where Lance Armstrong was going for his 6th win and the following year he went for his record breaking 7th win. I was riveted. That summer during the month of July my parents were also having all the carpets in the house replaced. Watching the Tour gave me something to do while the carpet guys where there and it meant I didn't have to make small talk (something I can SUCK at) and it also was something that wasn't cheesy or embarrassing to admit I was watching. They would ask, "what are you watching?" and I would be all, "oh, you know, the Tour de France."

For some reason I was fascinated. All the jockeying and strategy. The Tour is not won by an individual, it is won by a team. Without the sacrifices of his teammates, Lance Armstrong would never have won a single Tour.

I have a whole new vocabulary...

GC: General Classification

Peloton: French for group, in cycling it means the main bunch of riders. When the main bunch splits up, there can be several pelotons.

Feed Zone: Designated riders from each team collect musettes for their teammates and pass them out.

Musette: A cloth shoulder bag handed to riders at feed zones filled with drinks and food. Fans go crazy trying to get one when riders discard them when they are finished eating.

Breakaway: When a solitary rider or group of riders pulls off the front of the main bunch. Strategy and luck have a lot to do with whether the break will arrive successfully at the finish line. If there’s a rider who’s considered dangerous in the overall classification, the other teams will collaborate to bring the breakaway back. But sometimes if a rider is so far down in the overall standings or if the main bunch is too tired to work, a strong breakaway can survive to fight for the victory.

Drafting: It’s easier to ride behind someone else than to ride at the front breaking through the air mass, so riders will take turns cutting the wind and then save energy riding on the wheel of the bike directly in front of them.

The Tour is 23 days long and the competitors ride everyday but 2. There are flat stages, mountain stages, and time trials. And...

LANCE ARMSTRONG IS BACK THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are two US sponsored teams, Team Columbia and Team Garmin, but they are made up of riders from around the world. Lance Armstrong used to ride with Team Columbia, which was known as Team Discovery Channel and prior to that Team US Postal Service. This year, Lance (we are on a first name basis) is riding for Team Astana this year and it is a team based out of Kazakhstan. I love watching Lance ride, he is such an amazing rider and so aware of everything that is going on around him.

But my absolute favorite rider is Big George Hincapie.

Photo by Ken Conley

He is currently participating in his 14th Tour. He is only 2 away from tying the record. While he has never won a Tour, he was Lance's right hand man in every Tour he won. This year they are on different teams and I wonder what that is like. George Hincapie is simply a great rider and a true team player.

Am I aware that this makes me a nerd. Yes, the nerdiest. And I am okay with that. Now, I must go, the finish for today's stage is just about upon us...

Happy cycling!

Fireworks!

2009-07-04T10:03:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone has a fabulous 4th of July! I am excited for beer, BBQ, and fireworks! Today I am guest posting over at Fidgeting Gidget go check it out. 'Cause she's awesome.

Have a happy and safe holiday.

Flashback Friday - Family Vacation the end!

2009-07-03T09:41:00.001-07:00

Yea for Flashback Friday! Here is the final installment of the family vacation saga. I have also included photos for your viewing pleasure. And as always, stop by ScaryMommy's blog since Flashback Friday is all her idea.

Originally posted on myspace on 12/8/07

Family vacations are always fun

I am home. We all made it alive and in one piece. There were tears and there was laughter and overall some great memories were made and some not so great photos were taken ;)

Disembarking the boat was similar to a giant cattle call. We waited in our cabins for our section to be called, then we were ushered off the ship and into the customs line. Somehow my family managed to get into the line with the slowest customs agent ever! Both lines on either side of us were flowing and ours was at a standstill. Seriously all he has to do is say...anything to declare? any fruits or vegetables?, no, okay. And then we would all be off and running. We were only technically out of the country for one day, what do you think I did in one day. I had to get back on the ship anyway after being out of the country and they were super strict on what we could and could not bring back on board. (I am still a little confused as to why I was not allowed to bring a small pocket knife on board but at dinner they would give me a serrated steak knife, um, ok.)

After customs, make our way to the airport in LA with a brief stop at my Aunt Kerry's to say hi. We return our rented minivan, oh yeah, don't be hatin', we was big pimpin' style in the minivan. A minor dispute occurs between Sam and myself, while trying to fill up the gas tank before dropping off the van We get back to the rental agency and grab the shuttle to the airport. On a side note, my dad turned into a freaky California drive and I was in fear for my life once or twice while driving in the chaotic LA traffic.

Our first flight from LA to Vegas is a on time and we are looking good to get home on schedule. We land in Vegas as expected and then we begin out short layover before heading out on the last leg of our journey. On the flight from LA to Vegas, Alex made a friend with the guy sitting next to him on the plane. He was visiting Vegas for several days to catch a boxing match, he had come all the way from the United Kingdom...that is some serious dedication to your sport.

Our flight from Vegas to Eugene was slightly delayed by about 45 minutes but other than that our return trip was much less eventful than the trip down, (thank you sweet baby Jesus).

Finally around 2:30am we reach my parents' house. My mom turns to me and says, "So, are you staying here tonight?" Are you freaking kidding me?! I have just been with all of you for the last 8 days. I am so close to my own bed and my own home that I can taste it. I do not want to wake up tomorrow and have to look any of you people...no offense.

As much as I complained about this "family vacation", I had a great time, it was fun to be able to spend this time with my family. But ultimately, I am most grateful to be home. You cannot truly appreciate your home until you are unable to be in your comfort zone. Jack was so excited to see me and I was thrilled to see him (and yes, he does lokk super fabulous in his poncho!) My cats seemed happy to see me and both slept with me throughout the night. And above all I am really happy to be sleeping in a bed that does not rock back and forth!

This was the cabin my brothers and I shared for a week. And we are all still alive. You should be very impressed!

CATALINA ISLAND

What have I gotten myself into?

Isn't my brother Alex just precious :)

Hey boys, over here!

Aren't they funny...

DISNEYLAND - Happiest place on earth?

The Parentals

Alex, Me, Sam waiting in line

That's my family. All in line at Disneyland, smile people!

A Dude

2009-07-02T15:35:00.000-07:00

Dear A Dude,

I find your anonymity interesting because you felt the need to comment on my blog, knowing that what you posted could be controversial and could possibly hit a nerve. And instead of owning your comment you chose to use the name “A Dude” and didn’t link back to anything. Maybe you simply don’t have a blog to link back to, in which case why would you chose to not even leave a name. If there is no link, how am I supposed to know this John from that one.

While E and Perkster are not my real names, they are both nicknames that I go by. I also don’t think that it is any secret that my real name is Erica. But while E and Perkster are not my real name, I also own my blog and what is in it. I owned the words I chose to write and I am willing to defend what I wrote because it is something that I feel strongly about. I don’t leave anonymous comments on others blogs. I own my comments, the good and the bad.

I wrote my blog because I wanted to vent my feelings on being labeled as something I am not. And as I stated numerous times, I do not believe this woman meant any insult, but I was still insulted. And I am allowed to feel the way I do, especially as a member of a group that is marginalized in society. I also do bring it to people’s attention when I feel the time and place are appropriate. Did I feel it was appropriate to call this woman out on referring to me as a girl in passing in the work place? No. So I picked my blog as my outlet.

Gender equality is something I am very passionate about. And gender inequality should not be passed on from one member of the group to another. While the incident with my co-worker was not intended to be insulting or demeaning, I used it in my blog because it was an example of how pervasive this type of language is and how blindly we throw out labels without thinking what that label really implies. Was there a deeper meaning in what this woman called me? No. But eventually I am called a girl one too many times or I am referred to as guy all day long and I just can’t remain silent for another moment. Language seeps into our subconscious and we attach meaning and definitions to words we hear and when we hear terms like girl when referring to a grown adult female, subconsciously we are labeling her as less than in regards to her male counterpart who is referred to as a man.

Do you truly not see the difference in the implications of being called a Tomboy vs being called a Sissy? Do you not see how the term used for a boy showing ‘feminine’ qualities is offensive, while the term for a girl showing ‘masculine’ qualities is not inherently offensive? What is wrong with boys and men showing softness, gentleness, compassion and vulnerability? And how does this make them less of a man? I believe that men and women are made up of both masculine and feminine parts and society is what has determined which is more acceptable for those with penises and those with vaginas. Doesn’t tapping into these different aspects make us more well rounded people? Why then is the feminine aspect spurned and degraded when expressed by those who are male?

In response to your question:
“If the majority of people don’t consider the language oppressive, but you do, does that say more about you or more about them?”
I will tell you what it says about me. It says that I am aware of the androcentric world we live in and I am aware of how language perpetuates gender inequality. I don’t go around with my head in the sand. Someone has to question things. If no one ever questioned the “way things are” then there would still be slavery, women would not be able to vote, women and children would still be considered property, the US would still be an English territory, Monarchs would still rule France, etc.

Part of me hopes that maybe you just like playing devil’s advocate and stirring the pot. If not, I hope you take a moment and think next time you go to refer to a woman as a girl or a group of people as guys or are looking for an insult for your male friends.

I never claimed my blog was unbiased or the influences in my life would be left out of all my ramblings. My experiences are what make me who I am today and of course they are going to come out in my posts. Am I always PC? No. This where I talk about my day and express how I feel about different incidents. You are welcome to read it, that is why my blog is not private and you are welcome to comment. If you truly disagree with what I say, then I would love to hear it. But if you chose to comment simply to rile me up, please feel free to go elsewhere.

Sincerely,
E, The Perkster, Erica

I have a soapbox and today it is called Feminism

2009-07-01T12:39:00.000-07:00

First let me say, I am a feminist. This is not a dirty word. It doesn’t mean I hate men. It simply means that I believe there should be equality between the sexes. I think the patriarchal foundation of our society needs to be questioned and rocked. We should not all be sheep who simply go along with everything that is fed to us everyday by society through the media and bureaucracies and institutions that mold us into contributing members of society. I don’t think men should be pushed down so that woman can get ahead. Neither of us should be oppressed. Oppressing men so women can succeed, is still oppression and wrong. And when I say I think there needs to be equality between the sexes, I mean the good and the bad. If men have to register for the draft, then so should women, etc etc. Yes, I shave my armpits and legs (though I did struggle with this for a long time). I like to wear make-up and feel pretty. I like to feel feminine. But I don’t think my femaleness should somehow make me less than.

The other day at work I was called a girl.

This irritated me more than I probably should have let it, but whatever.

I am not a girl. While I may look like I am barely 16, I am a full fledged adult. I am a woman.

It sounds silly when I say that, but I AM a woman. I am not an old woman or even a middle aged woman. I am a young woman, although I can see 30 from where I sit. I can legally vote and drink. I am buying my first home. I pay all my bills. I am self sufficient. I am NOT a girl.

While the woman who referred to me as a girl meant no malice or insult, I still found it insulting. Yes, she is older than I am and may even have children who are close to me in age. But I am not her child and in the work place I am her co-worker and peer. In fact I am a higher classification than she is and I have more seniority. I am not trying to sound bitchy, it is just so frustrating.

There is no way to bring attention to this issue without it coming off as my being a whiny kid. Which is exactly what I am trying to NOT be perceived as.

Too often we throw out language and don’t think about the connotation of the word we chose or how the recipient will interpret it.

Girl:
1 a: a female child from birth to adulthood b: DAUGHTER c: a young unmarried woman dsometimes offensive : a single or married woman of any age
2 a: SWEETHEART bsometimes offensive : a female servant or employee

I know you may be reading these definitions and be thinking well, you could be a girl. Except we no longer live in society where young women are expected to get married or marriage somehow makes a person more of an adult. Does being married a 28 make someone less of girl than myself who is not married at 28? No.

I also cringe when I am referred to as a guy or a group of women are referred to as guys. I am not a guy. Guy is a masculine term and I am not male. By referring to me as a guy or a group of woman as guys, it erases our gender, our femaleness. It singles us out as “others” we are not the norm, which is male. How would a group of men feel if someone walked up to them and said, “Hey gals!” And I hate when people are referred to as guys and girls.

The terms guys and girls are not equitable. Guys and gals, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, men and women, these are the correct pairings. By calling people guys and girls there is a subconscious inferiority of females inferred.

I don’t think people are deliberately offensive or trying to create inferiority. I try to believe people generally mean well. But language is so important and people just don’t pay attention. The issue is not whether someone intended an insult, but whether or not an insult was perceived. Ignorance is not an excuse. People need to be aware of the impact of their words.

Think of all the degrading names for men or people who show weakness:
Pussy
Wuss
Sissy
Pansy Ass
Acting like a little girl
Throw like a girl
Scream like a girl

All of these have a negative connotation with being female in some capacity and that being feminine is not to be desired. What is wrong with being female? We make up more than 50% of the world’s population! Did you know that all fetuses start out as female and begin to develop as female in the first few weeks? (ok, that is a simplification and technically the sex is determined at conception with the melding of XX or XY chromosomes, but prior to the influence of testosterone the fetus goes along as female) That is why men have nipples, the body was preparing to be female and starting the process of creating mammaries. But the XY combination releases hormones early on to stimulate male development. (Of course there is a lot more to it and I don’t have all day to explain)

I am also a fluent Spanish speaker so I am aware that English is not the only sexist language. Most of the “romance” languages are extremely sexist. A whole gaggle of people could be hanging out together and there is only one male in the whole group and the rest are female, but when referring to the group the masculine form is used. I get that. But it doesn’t make it okay or right or any less oppressive.

If you made it all the way to the bottom of this and don’t want to send me hate mail…Yea for you! I am now stepping off of my soapbox and going back to work :)

Butt Dialing ruins all the fun!

2009-06-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

My Weekend:

*woke up as Mike was leaving for the day and night

*took a shower (serious accomplishment, I know)

*got dressed

*headed over to my parents' house so I could take them to the airport (they are going to Sitka Alaska for a friend's impromptu wedding), but stopped at Starbucks on the way...hello, I NEEDED my coffee

*after dropping my parents off I went and did some retail therapy
-I bought a bike helmet so my brain stays safe in my skull. And discovered that I have a small head and needed to purchase a YOUTH helmet because the adult helmet was waaaay too loose. Awesomeness-not
-I hit up Old Navy because they were having a great sale, got a couple tank tops and sweatshirt thingy
-I went to Macy's and got some fun new Mac eye make-up, woo hoo and while I was there I figured I should see about getting a new beige bra (my all time favorite beige bra that I wore under all my white tops, broke :(, the underwire snapped in half the other day and it is not fun to have underwire pinching and jabbing you in the boob) so I found a new bra I liked.

*After that excitement I came home and hung out with the boys, Shadow and Jackie, then I decided to experiment with my new eye shadow.

*Later I got dressed for the girls night, I did my new eye make-up, put on a black tank and headed out. Black was the color of the night apparently.

*Celebrated Andrea's 32nd birthday with booze, good food, and cake. The talk revolved around queefing, being crafty in attempts to have sex after children, pooping with children, constipation while pregnant, pooping after giving birth to children and some of our desire to NEVER have children after these talks. I know classy right. It was super fabulous, it's okay to be jealous.

*Oh yeah and I forgot my ID so I had to use my passport to prove I was of legal drinking age. Super awesome! Yeah, I am not positive why my passport was in my purse either, but hey it's good to be prepared in case you have to leave the country in a hurry.

*We had all decided to head out to the Rocking Rodeo or as I affectionately call it...The Hodeo. But in the course of that discussion Andrea butt dialed her husband who heard the whole conversation about going out dancing and drinking at the Hodeo. He called her back and was all angry because she had said we were all just going out to dinner and nothing about dancing. Complete buzz kill.

*Headed home and read my book for awhile, then super tired headed to bed. I opted not to remove my eye make-up or any of my make up as it was almost 2am when I was climbing into bed, not ever a good idea or good for my face.

*This morning at 5:45 am my dogs spotted a squirrel outside on the fence, little fucker!, and they went completely ape shit trying to get him. Even though they were inside and he was outside. It scared the crap out of me! I then had to go around and close all the curtains and blinds on the french doors so they could no longer see outside.

*Since I was up I decided to pee, I am a morning pee-er and would have been up in an hour to pee anyway. As I walked into the bathroom, I glanced in the mirror and it looked like someone had punched me in both eyes. It wasn't pretty. So then I decided to wash my face.

*When my face was clean and moisturized I crawled back into bed and promptly fell back asleep.

*It is now about 1:30, I have been up for about 4 hours yet I remain in my pajamas. Mike is not home yet but should be in about 1.5 hours. I will make sure I am dressed by then.

*Until then I am simply enjoying my lazy Sunday afternoon and tonight I will be enjoying a new episode of True Blood.

I hope you all had a great weekend, I know I did. And it's a short work week since I have Friday off in honor of the 4th!

Relay For Life

2009-06-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

I am participating in the Relay for Life. My team entered the Relay a little late and our fundraising goal is small in comparison to some other teams. But every penny raised goes to help find a cure for cancer. I have lost both of my paternal grandparents to cancer. I have friends who have had their own personal cancer scares or have family members currently fighting for their lives.

Cancer is an insidious disease that sneaks up on people and destroys their lives. Many people do survive today because of the vital research that has been funded through the American Cancer Society and Relay for Life. Cancer changes people forever. Those who survive are that much more aware of their own mortality and how fragile life truly is. Many spend a good portion of their lives still looking over their shoulder and wondering, “Is it back? Am I really okay? I don’t feel 100% today…” Those left behind when the battle against cancer has been lost must pick up the pieces and try to continue on.

I am asking for help. Please help my team reach our fundraising goal of $1000. The event I am participating in will be held July 24th – 25th. Again, every penny counts. I know times are hard and people are watching their spending, but any donation made to the American Cancer Society will not be for nothing. It will not be money wasted. It will be money used to help save someone’s life and hopefully find a cure!

Thank you for your support! Below are the links to my personal Relay for Life page and my team’s page.

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/EricaH
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/retrowreckers

Sincerely,
Erica