Dental Floss blows and I don't mean the thong kind

I know Flashback Friday is tomorrow and for all my devoted readers who are anxiously awaiting another installment of the 'Family Vacation' (that would be all of you, you're all devoted to me, right? RIGHT?!) there is another one planned for tomorrow. But since I went to the dentist this week, I thought this post was fitting and still true...

Originally posted Dec 2008 on Myspace:

I went to the dentist this week. I dislike going to the dentist. Now I don't dislike the dentist because they poke and prod and scrape my teeth. I don't dislike it because my mouth is sore afterwards. Actually I don't mind the teeth cleaning at all, sometimes I even start to fall asleep as I am sitting in the chair. And of course you get presents when you go the dentist, new tooth brushes, tooth paste, and floss.

The reason I don't like the dentist is flossing. I hate flossing, it kind of grosses me out. I have short stumpy fingers and it can be hard to get to those "hard to reach places". And I really only floss when something gets stuck between my teeth.

But every time I go to the freaking dentist they ask me if I have been flossing. Have I ever been flossing regularly? In all the years I have gone there, every six months when I come in, has my answer EVER been yes?! NO! Because I hate flossing. Hate it, hate it, hate it!

Always after I answer no (I have considered just telling them yes, but they can tell once they start working on my teeth that I am lying) I then get a lecture on why flossing is so important. And that I should really make an effort to do it. And when I am older I will appreciate that I flossed when I was younger. Blah blah blah bablah. I get it already.

I am not 10. I am a grown up with my own damn health insurance and if I don't want to floss then I really don't have to. If one day, when I am 80 and my teeth rot out of my head and it is all due to the lack of flossing in my youth, then I give the dentist full permission to say, "I told you so." Until then, shut the hell up and stop lecturing me on flossing.

So, that is why I hate going to the dentist. But I do have a cool new toothbrush (and another package of floss to add to the ever growing collection in my bathroom drawer).

What's that smell?

I am home sick today :( The past few days I have just been feeling off and not very well. I ended up leaving work early yesterday and sleeping all afternoon. And today I decided to not even go into work.

Being sick blows. You aren't at work but you can't really do anything exciting or fun because you don't feel well and lack the motivation and energy to do anything.

I was sitting here, reading blogs and checking email and yelling at my dogs who wouldn't stop barking and I kept getting whiffs of this smell. I kept trying to figure out where it was coming from...did I need to wash the blankets on the couch, did I need to wash my dog who was curled up next to me? Then I realized what smelled, it was ME!

Since I have been sick I didn't shower yesterday and then I hadn't showered today either. Also I had been running a slight fever and once it broke I was all sweaty. It is never fun to realize that the unpleasant odor you are detecting is actually coming from yourself!

Needless to say, I have showered now and no longer stink, but I still feel crappy.

Flashback Friday

It's that time again...Flashback Friday ala ScaryMommy



Family Vacation Part V (Originally posted 12/5/07)

Today we were supposed to dock in Ensenada. This did not happen. Due to large swells and gusts of wind the port at Ensenada was closed, so today ended up being our "At Sea" day. This would not have been so bad if it weren't for the giant swells. The ship rocks a little all the time, today however it lurched from side to side. I have not been seasick this whole trip except for today. Everywhere you go you sway from side to side. You will just be standing there and the next thing you know you've stumbled sideways, like a drunk person. Who needs to drink when I can experience all the negative after effects without even trying.

I have tried to sleep most of the day and that seems to help. We will attempt to dock at Ensenada tomorrow, so don't worry everyone who was expecting a Mexican treat from me...you may still get it.

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah and there was a little Chanukah celebration, it was nice. There was challah bread (yum, my favorite) and latke wannabees. They were not latkes, they were just plain ol' pancakes. There were two Israeli men around my age and my mother has already tried to set me up with them. "I just want you to find a nice Jewish boy...or any boy at all."

Alex won the silver in who can make mom cry today. Alex, Sam, and I were all planning on meeting up for lunch at noon. I guess Alex ran into our mom on the way and she decided to join us. Well, Sam and I had come in from one entrance and told the hostess that there would be 3 of us. Alex and my mom came from another direction and when I told the hostess that there were really 4 of us all hell broke loose. There was utter confusion with the hostess and them trying to figure out where to seat us, then I look over and my mother has left the restaurant...what the hell. Alex turns around and leaves and soon after Sam follows. There I am standing in the middle of the restaurant with the hostess, both of us have no idea what has just happened. I turn to the hostess, shrug my shoulders in a helpless gesture and give her a sheepish grin...then I bolt.

I leave to go find everyone and there are Sam and my mom. She is upset because when we told the hostess that our party was now a group of 4 and it got a little confusing, Alex turned to our mom and said "You weren't even invited." Alex stormed off in huff, Sam and I calmed our mom down and finally got seated...for 3. Next thing you know, there is my dad, we are once again a party of 4. Sigh. As much as I complain about my mom I do love the woman and I know she just wants to make sure that we all are having a good time and she wants to spend some of that time with us.

Okay, I am off to get ready for dinner. Wish us luck on getting to Ensenada tomorrow.



P.S. As I have mentioned they feed you all the time here. There is food everywhere and room service 24 hrs a day. Because of this I made the decision to try and take the stairs whenever I can, to try and counter balance the food intake. My calves and thighs have been burning! Hasta manana.

No Boys Allowed

Today was just a normal Tuesday at work. Like any other Tuesday. I have my coffee, a coworker has already annoyed me in the first 20 minutes I have been at work, I start to surf the internet, er, I mean start to work on overpayments.

After lunch I head to the bathroom. The women's bathroom. There are 3 stalls, one is a large handicap stall and two regular stalls. The handicap stall was occupied so I chose the one closest to the door. That left a stall between us. I am weird like that okay. If no one else is in the bathroom I will always choose the middle stall, but I don't like to be right next to the other stalls if they are occupied if I can help. Yeah, yeah, I know, weird.

Anywasted, I walk into the stall and what do I see...the toilet with the seat raised. Huh? And there is toilet paper in the toilet. Double huh? It's not first thing in the morning when the toilet seats are sometimes raised after the janitor cleaned them. Whatever, I flush the toilet, do my business, flush again, wash my hands and leave.

Once back at my desk I don't think anymore about it. A few hours later my friend SS stops by my desk and tells me that for the second time that day she has gone into the bathroom and discovered the toilet seat raised with toilet paper in the toilet. I'm all, "DUUUUUDE me too!" And she's all "What? No way!" and I'm like, "No seriously. And I thought it was strange when it happened to me and now I think it is even weirder." SS looks at me and says, all while laughing, "Thank God it's not just me!"

Then we brainstrom trying to figure out why the toilet in the ladies room is raised. Is there an office gnome who just can't quite make it to the men's bathroom and thinks it's amusing to try and catch the ladies in the office unaware? Is there a transgender in the office? Because if there is I am totally cool with that, but come on, you are using the ladies bathroom, please put the seat back down!

Later, when discussing this mystery with Jen, she informed me that it was a certain someone in the office and other people in the office have experienced it as well. We are not sure why she does this.

Any ideas? Is she cleaning the toilet after she finishes? Is she that crazy of a pee-er? I mean really...how hard is it make it in the toilet? Do I even want to know what kind of craziness goes on in there when she uses the bathroom?

Or maybe she has boy parts we don't know about. I really don't care, JUST PUT THE SEAT DOWN AND FLUSH THE TOILET PAPER!

Flashback Friday - Family Vacation continued

I think flashback Friday was an ingenius idea and it makes me happy to dust off the old blogs to be read by new eyes (and some old ones). Be sure to go visit ScaryMommy. Here is part 3 and 4 enjoy...

Part III
We are on the ship. I truly believe when I die, I want my heaven to be a cruise ship. They feed you everywhere you go, they have Duty Free shops where the booze is way inexpensive, they have jewelry shops, and they have designer handbags! Seriously, what more could a girl ask for?

I am sharing a room with my brothers, there is one bed by the window and then basically bunkbeds. I am not sure how I lucked out and ended up sleeping on the top bunk...what the hell, I should have totally pulled the oldest child card. But by the time we had gotten through check-in, I was ready to just lay down for a few minutes and the thought of fighting over who slept where was just too much for me. Also, I was a little worried about sleeping on the bottom bunk with Alex on the top bunk. As Alex stated, he would have a broken arm and I would be dead. Alex is not a little dude.

The cabins are tiny but we have a window and we are not sharing with our parents. So overall it's pretty awesome. Tomorrow we stop in Catalina for the day, then it's on to Mexico. Although we are only in Mexico for one day.

I have found that I am a little lonely on the cruise. There is so much I would love to experience with Jen and Kelsey and Christina and other good friends. My dad and brothers just don't understand my excitement over designer handbags and my mom just tells me I could get the same type purse much cheaper. The cruise also feels a little like high school. I am just not sure where I fit in yet.

Sorry, nothing too exciting happened today. For the most part it was uneventful but stressful. We did have a life-jacket drill, that was interesting and there are several people I better get off the boat before! Oh, and you should know that yes, ships are still sexist, the sick, women, and children all get off the ship first. I guess that's good for me...not so good for my dad and brothers.


Part IV
Nope, karaoke does not improve on a cruise ship. People still suck. But I am have a pretty good time. Right now Sam and I are sitting in one of the many bars aboard ship listening to bad singing. Soon we will leave to meet up with the rest of family for a comedy show at midnight. Sam and I are giggling like little school girls as we watch four very large Samoan men sing All 4 One's "I Swear". It is hilarious and one just started dancing!

So, Sam has officially won the "Who can make mom cry first?" prize Today we left the ship for a an excursion to Catalina. Catalina is a cool little place where everyone basically drives golf carts everywhere. Well, my family decided to rent one for an hour. Ok, cool...no, not so much. My mom kept trying to tell my dad where to go and was just stressing everyone out. Sam, who is riding shotgun, turns around to face my mom, who is riding in the middle seat (Alex and I are being nerds and are riding in the backseat facing backwards, try not to be jealous), and he says, "Mom, shut up! You are stressing us all out and you have no idea what you are talking about!" Maybe tomorrow Alex can make her cry.


As Kelsey (Sam's fiance) says, "It's only funny because it's not happening at my house."

Catalina is obviously a tourist attraction and their economy is completely supported by cruise ships passengers. But I like it. It has a quaint little feel to it and I totally am down with driving a golf cart everywhere. I would pimp mine out, spinners and everything! Did you know that here are bison on the island. They were brought over for a film of a Zane Grey book but did not actually make it into the movie and ever since there have been several hundred head of bison on the island. It's a cool little place.

I am totally digging the evening turndown service on the ship and I am no longer sleeping on the top bunk, Sam now has that privilege...if he asks I will tell him it is his prize for making mom cry. They come and fold down your comforter, place a mint on your pillow, and they fold a towel into some crazy sea creature! Sweetness.

The ship has really been rocking lately and I have come to the conclusion that anyone who is actually walking straight, is drunk off their ass. Because all the sober people are lurching back and forth. They like to take pictures wherever you go, even if you don't want your picture taken. Sam and Alex where each accosted by the pirate lady...ha ha.

Alright, I must go. I miss you all terribly. I no longer feel so lonely but I still wish someone else could appreciate the designer handbags as much as I do!

I like drinks with umbrellas

For Memorial Day weekend I went camping. Now, before I say anything else, let me say that I had a good time. I had fun and did not hate any of it (okay except the part where I swallowed a bug, could have TOTALLY done without that). In fact I would even go camping again.

I just don't happen to be a camper, my family never really went camping. I don't take the initiative to plan a camping trip, I don't want to have to figure out the details. I don't own a tent or a sleeping bag. I only own a camping chair because I needed one for a birthday party out at a park. God help us all if I am in charge of food for a camping trip! Unless it's the s'mores 'cause I have that down to an art!

I don't really understand the appeal of camping. You pack everything you already have at home and head off into the wilderness where you will set up a tent aka shelter...which you had at home. Start a fire for warmth and possibly to act as your stove...have both of those at home. During the twilight hours you are fighting off bugs and spraying yourself down with toxins so you don't get bitten...yeah, if I was home, in my house - no bugs.

Birds wake you up at the freaking crack of dawn or small children with whistles, whatevs (oh, did I mention I am also not a morning person and I happen to be the lightest freaking sleeper ever). The nights are so cold you huddle around the fire trying to get warm and then the smoke blows in your face, awesome for asthmatics! Then you go to bed and the mere thought of getting naked to bump uglies makes you want to cry because your teeth are chattering so hard. I was in pajama pants, a long sleeve shirt and socks. I NEVER wear socks to bed.

And to add to the chill at night, I happen to be a nighttime pee-er. I typically pee 1-2 times a night. Not so awesome when you have to crawl out of your blanket cocoon, search for flip flops, try and get the flip flops on over your socks, and trek outside and decide if it is worth making the hike to the "toilets" (scary scary and smelly toilets) or just 'rough it' outside. Half asleep you have to pee without peeing on your pants (or foot) and then drip dry it is.

I also burn at the thought of direct sunlight and I don't like to swim in water I can't see the bottom of and that fish poop in.

People tell me that the appeal of camping is get away and hang with friends and/or family. That is great and I get that. I really do. But you can get away and hang with friends and family at an awesome resort with a fruity drink complete with an umbrella, shaded by palm trees, relaxing at the swim-up bar at the pool. There is indoor plumbing, meaning toilets AND showers. Climate controlled rooms, air conditioning for when it gets sweltering hot and heaters for when you start to feel the chill in the air. And real beds, not air mattresses that start to deflate during the night. That's the kind of camping I want to do ;)

But to quote my 5 year old camping buddy, Haley, when asked what was the best part of camping..."the chocolate". Now that girl has her priorities in order!

Flashback Friday - Family Vacation Part II

Scary Mommy does Flashback Friday. So here is part two of the family vacation that occurred in December 2007:


Last night I wrote a great blog about my day yesterday and when I went to post it, Myspace ate it. I was too frustrated and tired to try and rewrite. I will now attempt to match the greatness of the original blog, but I cannot make any promises.

The other night when I was telling everyone about the excitement of getting to Califormia I failed to mention the crazy waitress we had at the hotel restaurant. I was so tired, I blocked it from memory. Sam, Alex, and I all decide to head down to the hotel restaurant for some dinner, our parents were off somewhere shopping. We arrive at the restaurant about 8ish and there is no one there. This makes the 3 of us a little nervous but the server tells us to sit anywhere. We naively pick a table, having no idea what we have just gotten ourselves into.

Our server sounds like she has been smoking for 30 years and Sam likes to describe her as a female version of Joe Pesci...this is pretty accurate. She comes over to our table, hands us menus and takes our drink orders. After bring us our drinks she then takes our dinner orders.

As we are waiting for our dinner a woman comes into the restaurant, obviously a co-worker or manager of our server. This woman proceeds to tell a story about a bad experience she had at Sam's Club. She thought the price of an item was $3.99 but when she got to the checkout the price was actually $19.99. The woman is talking very loudly and my brothers and I have already heard this story 3 times, while we were out in the lobby. The woman has completed the story with our server and heads over to the bar where we hear her begin to tell the story again to the bartender. The three of us all exchange eye rolls. All of a sudden our server is standing at our table, motions to the woman who just left and makes a talking gesture with her hand and says "yak, yak, yak." Um, ok, weird.

The next time we see our server she is bringing out our dinners. It is immediately obvious that one of the three plates is extremely hot and burning her. Does she put down the hottest plate first? No! She sets the scalding hot plate down last. What kind of crazy logic is that. The hot plate is Sam's, he ordered nachos and we assume the whole plate was put in the oven to melt the cheese. As she sets the plate down she turns to Sam and says, "That plate was hot!" We all nod our heads in acknowledgment but apparently that was not good enough. She says, "No, it was really hot! See..." And she presses her hand against Sam's cheek. The horrified look on Sam's face was PRICELESS! Now that she has traumatized Sam she turns her attention to Alex. He has ordered buffalo wings. She says to him, "Sorry, that took so long, we had to go kill the chickens. Just kidding we keep them dead in the back!" WTF!? The woman is crazy.

We manage to complete our meal, somewhat in shock. Then she brings out the check. She reaches in front of me and hands the check to Sam. She says "I don't know why I am handing this to you, but you are the oldest here and are probably paying." OH NO SHE DIDN'T! I am the oldest by 4 years and I was the one PAYING! After all of this we head back to our room where we all crash and try and put the memory of this night behind us.

Yesterday morning we awoke to our mother yelling, "I CAN'T HEAR HIM!" All three children bolt upright from a dead sleep, our hearts are pounding, thinking, uh oh that's mom's angry voice, someone is in trouble. Then our father calmly says, "Sue, you're dreaming." What the hell, she just scared the crap out of all of us! The rest of the morning continues uneventfully. We get dressed and head off to Disneyland.

The beauty of my parents having grown children and modern technology providing all of us with cell phones...we are not required to stick together all day long. Before we split apart we all ride the Indiana Jones ride and attempt to ride the Pirates of the Caribbean. We are almost at the front of the line for this ride when they experience mechanical problems and the ride is closed for several hours. Apparently when children do not get to go on their ride they begin to scream bloody murder in your ear...or maybe that was just the child directly behind me.

After this my brothers and I decide to go our own way and leave the parentals to do whatever it is parentals do at Disneyland. The three of us trek over to Splash Mountain. Keep in mind we have all been to Disneyland before, have been on this ride before, and know that there is a chance of getting somewhat wet. No, we did not get wet, we were drenched! The sign said, 'Caution, you may get a little wet on this ride.' Um, no, the sign should have said, 'Hey stupid, you will get completely soaked, there are no towels available at the end of this ride, and you still have the rest of the day to wander around Disneyland.' I have never gotten that wet on this ride, ever! Mid ride I had to move my phone and camera into my bra just to keep them dry. As I stepped off the ride my shoes were squishing. Alex was able to wring out his sweatshirt. We did however get an awesome photo of the three of us! When we got back to the hotel room at 10pm, Sam's sock was still wet, 10 hours after we went on the freaking ride!

The rest of the day passed without any mishaps. We all left Disneyland still speaking to everyone and we were tired but happy. Over all the day was fun and I have come to realize how much I enjoy both of my brothers. They are hilarious. There was a minor spat between everyone right before bed, but this morning it is all forgotten and we are preparing for the cruise portion of our adventure. I do have sunburn from Disneyland though, so much for fading freckles!

For everyone who has been monitoring the sleeping arrangements, I lucked out and Alex chose to sleep on the floor instead of sharing a bed with me. I am still not sure whether to be relieved or slightly offended! On the cruise, my brothers and I will be sharing a cabin and our parents are in another room, thank god. It will be nice to have a place to retreat when the family vacation stress level has just about made you snap.

I hope everyone is having a good and I will write again...more on the cruise part later.

~Erica

P.S. I thought California was supposed to warm? I have been chilled and unable to get warm since we arrived. Mexico better be warm or I want a refund!