All about me

I haven’t blogged in awhile because I don’t want to have post after post after post about how sad I am or how much my heart hurts or how angry and disappointed I am.  Because those are all the things I am feeling.

But…

I am also feeling relieved, like I am on the brink of starting something new and exciting and hopefully life altering.  I am no longer waiting on Mike to make a decision so I can go forward. So I can make future plans.  I don’t have to think about anyone else or how they will play into my future.

I am excited to start this new chapter in my life and the idea of finding someone who will be my companion on this crazy journey of mine.

Plus, think of all the great blogging material I will have when I reenter the dating world. Hello!

There are moments where the loneliness creeps in along with the doubt and anger.  These are the moments I realize I am not quite ready to jump into the dark unknown waters of the dating world just yet.  But these moments are getting fewer and farther between.  And my amazing friends never let me be lonely for long.

I have also been taking care of me.  Eating better, doing things I love – going to movies, knitting, reading, etc.  I am rediscovering me, the single me.  And I remember how much I like me and how awesome I am.

Paint colors have been running through my  head for the various rooms in my house.  I am sick of looking at the white walls.  My house needs some personality. I want to make it my own, put my stamp on it.  And that is just what I am going to do.  I plan to turn my second bedroom into a room for relaxing and reading and if friends come to visit a place where they can sleep.  As of right now this is kind of my room for stuff I am not sure where to put.

I am hunkering down and settling in, because the next guy in my life is going to have to make an effort to be in my life.  I am not going to be the only one making the effort.