I want a Snuggie.
I have decided that I need a Snuggie for work. My cubicle is constantly hovering at arctic temperatures, I currently have a blanket (I used to have two) and a sweater here at work (totally my ugly, old lady sweater, but it keeps me warm). I leave them here for when I get so cold I am shivering.
Often there are days when my hands are so cold it hurts to bend my fingers and type. I sit almost directly under an air vent so I get blasted with frigid winds on a regular basis. Now I understand that this is a large building and maintaining a constant temp throughout can be difficult, but this is just ridiculous!
And for some reason the bathroom is always the exact opposite of the building as a whole. If the building is cool then the bathroom is a warm little refuge, but if the building is warming up the bathroom suddenly becomes the walk in freezer.
But, back to me, I WANT A SNUGGIE! A blanket with arms…HELLO?! That is exactly what I need for work. I can stay all snug and warm and have my hands free to type. And if my body isn’t busy trying to keep the rest of me warm then it can focus solely on my hands and it will be all good.
Me – sitting at my desk, working away, wrapped in my Snuggie
Coworker – does double take, “what are you wearing?”
Me – glances at coworker with utter contempt, “pssh, a Snuggie.” Followed up with an eye roll. “Quit drinking the hater-ade, you know you want one!”
Coworker – stares agog, mouth agape
Me – gives quirk of the eyebrow and resumes diligently working, basking in the warmth of my Snuggie.
Now, I know some of you are probably laughing. Go ahead, laugh away at the Snuggie, but remember, the Snuggie made billions last year. BILLIONS! That is millions, plus a whole lot more. So, while you laugh at the Snuggie, the Snuggie is laughing all the way to the bank.
The Snuggie, probably has its own private jet and is off to some exotic locale for vacation where Snuggies aren’t even needed because the temperature never drops below 80 degrees. While we sit on our couch, because we can’t afford to go on any vacations, wrapped in old blankets, because we don’t want to turn the heat up too high ‘cause then the power bill will go up and seriously, who can afford that. So, laugh away at the Snuggie, but I am pretty sure the Snuggie is getting the last laugh in the end.
And on that note, I must go order me a Snuggie.
Get thee to an independent bookstore.
1 day ago