Wednesday, December 29, 2010
We chatted over email/yahoo messenger/text everyday all day for almost two weeks. He lives in a town about 45 mins away and with our work schedules and stuff it was hard to coordinate a time to meet up. Finally we found a time the worked for both of us. Last Thursday, the eve before Christmas Eve.
The plan was for him to come down after work and we would go out to dinner and see how things went. Neither of us had to work the next day so it wouldn’t feel rushed or cut off because it was getting late.
Well, we hit it off, we chatted, we laughed, we had a great time…let’s just say he didn’t go home until Friday afternoon. Ahem, ANYWAY.
I normally don’t put out on a first date (and if I did, so freaking what, I am a grown adult and I am allowed to like sex!). But we had been talking for two weeks straight for hours each time. We talked about silly stuff, we talked about serious stuff, we just talked. And then we finally met and the sparks were there.
Christmas comes and all the crazy whirlwind family obligations. Finally on Sunday we touch base, chat a little bit about our holidays, talk about how much fun we had, etc. It is now Wednesday. WEDNESDAY PEOPLE! And I haven’t heard a single peep from him. What the French, Toast! That is just rude.
Suddenly ignoring a girl is douchy. Especially if there was no indication that he was no longer interested. He could have just not acknowledged me on Sunday and I would have gotten the message. And if I had met him at a bar and hooked up, okay, I would expect to go on my happy little way and never really hear from him again. But we seemed to have connected.
I just don’t get it. If he’s not interested, man up and say, “Hey, I had a good time, but I just don’t see anything coming from it.” Fine, I’m a big girl. I can take it. Would it suck to hear that? Of course, but at least I would have stopped wasting the pretty on someone who wasn’t interested.
And then I don’t know if it is just because he is inexperienced in the dating world (only really started dating a few years ago) (hello, who isn’t). Maybe he is freaked out by my awesomeness and that all this awesomeness actually really likes him (he has some hearing loss and mild cerebral palsy, causing some insecurities on his part). Or maybe he just isn’t interested. Whatever it is, getting the silent treatment for two days when before I would get a good morning and good night everyday, really hurts my feelings.
I am off to read “He’s just not that into you” and then I am off to scout out more boys. No need to waste the pretty on someone who can’t even bother to call.
P.S. Have I mentioned that dating is brutal!
***UPDATE - I did call him out after writing this post. We seem to have worked some of it out. But dating is still brutal.***
Monday, December 13, 2010
I was able to find quite a bit of that holiday spirit I had been lacking. I put up my tree on Saturday and put out all my decorations. And it really helped me pull the reindeer out of my ass.
My rocking horses all lined up in order by year
My new ornament collection “a pony for christmas” also in order by year
My tree with all the ornaments. So pretty.
I have opted not to hang any christmas lights outside this year, but that’s okay. It is cold and raining buckets and frankly I have no desire to scamper my happy ass across the roof.
Yeah for the holidays!
P.S. I met a boy who makes me smile :)
Saturday, December 11, 2010
I just can’t seem to find the holiday spirit. Usually I have my tree up right after Thanksgiving and I am outside freezing my ass off hanging lights on my roof. I usually love pulling out all my decorations and setting them up around the house. Unwrapping each ornament and remembering why I love it so much. I collect rocking horse ornaments and I have a series that spans 16 years. When I pull them out of the ornament tote, I carefully line them up in order of year, until all 16 are displayed. Then I evenly hang them on the tree.
I am not religious and I only celebrate Christmas secularly, as a time when my family gets together and laugh and just have a great time. My mother loves to decorate and has decorations for every single holiday and I am my mother’s daughter. I usually love everything about this time of year. I love the lights on the houses lighting up the cold nights. The smell of holiday goodies baking. Getting together with friends from out of town who I haven’t seen all year.
This year, it is two weeks before Christmas and I don’t have a SINGLE decoration up. Nothing, nada, zilch.
Part of the reason is because after 3 years, I am single this Christmas. I don’t have someone special I am shopping for. I don’t have someone to share all the memories with of decorating the tree and hanging lights. I am not out hunting for the “perfect gift”. The gift that once purchased I would be so excited for him to open and hardly be able to wait until Christmas day.
Even if I had someone special to shop for, I have no extra money to really be shopping with. At work we are required to take furloughs (mandatory unpaid days off). My budget was already tight and with the cut in pay it has just made it even tighter. I can pay all my bills, I just don’t have a lot of extra spending. Okay I don’t have any extra spending money.
But this weekend I am determined to get into the holiday spirit! I WILL put up my tree and depending on the weather I WILL hang my Christmas lights. I am going to fake it until I feel that holiday spirit tingle!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Online dating might actually end up killing me though!
Online dating is brutal and your self esteem takes a serious beating. You start to feel hopeful and excited by new potential boys and dates…then those hopes and excitement are crushed. By the time I make it through this, I will have the toughest skin and be the bluntest person ever.
I send out winks or messages and sometimes I get a “polite no” and I wonder: do they not like me because of how I look? or because I am liberal? or maybe they don’t like dogs, in which case we wouldn’t work out anyway! And some people simple don’t respond or acknowledge me at all (rude much) Then there are the ones you start to email/chat with and you seem to have a good connection. We set up a time to meet, we go on a date, the date seems to have gone great, we chat some more after date, then…
1. Suddenly the guy just stops writing back. (Um, what? If the date was horrible or he wasn’t interested then why continue to email/text back and forth with me afterwards and then just poof, nothing)
2. We hit it off, discuss going on another date and then you get a text saying “Hey I really did have a good time on our date, but I also went on a date with someone else before our date and we hit it off. I am going to give it a go. I wish you the best of luck in your search”
*I really appreciate that he manned up and was willing to tell me. And I hope it works out for them, because this online dating blows!
I have also encountered the guy who is chatting to multiple ladies (hey, I don’t judge, I am trying to talk to several guys), but he can’t seem to keep us straight. Dude, seriously, keep better track of us. Also, I am not interested in a booty call.
This is an actual message I received:
Been lil bored how bout you. Maybe something casual, rip one fool around a bit. Take Care if not
Um, really? Does that actually work? And WHAT in my profile gives the impression that I would be interested in that?
Sigh, there has to be someone out there somewhere. I will just look at it like trying to find a job. For every 20 applications I submit I get 1 interview and for every 10 interviews I get a job offer. So using this theory I only have 1,123,973 more applications to go…
Friday, October 22, 2010
My friend Amber and I traveled to Georgia for our other friend, Kristin’s wedding.
We arrived at out hotel after a long red eye flight. Arriving in Atlanta around 9:30am, that is 6:30am for my West Coast brain/body. we stayed at Loews**, it was amazing!
We opted out of taking a nap as we were hopped up on caffeine and ready to get exploring.
Total tourists that we were, we hit up CNN, the Aquarium, Turner Field, and looked at the outside of the Coca Cola museum.
After our behind the scenes CNN tour it was off to the Aquarium.
Now we were off to Turner Field. Amber is a big Braves fan. I am not into baseball so much, but I was down for the ride.
Turner field. While there I realized it was named after Ted Turner who basically owns all of Georgia. He started CNN, owned the Braves, started TBS (Turner Broadcasting System) which is why it always shows the Braves games…
At the Braves store:
We crashed hard that night. And the next morning began the real reason we went to Georgia in the first place – KRISTIN’S WEDDING! It was casual and laid back and low stress, with just family and a few friends. But mostly, it was perfect.
I had a great time in Georgia and I can’t wait to go back. It was my first trip anywhere in the South. Next time I plan to stick around for more than a weekend. There is so much I didn’t get to see and do and eat!
P.S. I don’t think I took one serious photo the entire trip!
**Loew’s was an Amazing hotel. And I recommend staying there. The staff was helpful and friendly. I know I plan to stay there again. And this is all my personal opinion.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
I was tagged by my name twin, E over at Life of a
Single engaged girl. She answered 8 questions and then tagged some other bloggers with 8 questions of her own. So, here are my answers to her questions and then I came up with 8 of my own and tagged some other lovely bloggers…
1. If you could pick one song that describes your life what would it be?
*Leona Lewis – Better In Time
As we know, I recently ended an almost 3 year relationship. I relate to this song because it acknowledges how much it hurts, but that ultimately I will smile and be happy again because I deserve to.
2. Your first kiss: Fairytale or tragedy?
Fairytale. Sigh. I was 15 almost 16 and the boy and I had been really good friends for about a year and I had a RAGING crush on him. Then one day after school we were hanging out at my house watching TV. I was eating saltines and he wanted one. I refused to share so he tackled me on the couch as I tried to run away with MY crackers. It was like in the movies, we were laughing so hard, I was almost crying. I took a deep breath trying to catch my breath after laughing and looked up. Our eyes caught and we both stopped laughing and he leaned in and kissed me nice and good J
We dated for 4 ½ years, through high school and into college.
(writing this just made my heart smile, remembering how exciting it was and how happy and special I felt)
3. If you were given a year in which you could do absolutely anything you wanted to do (money is no object) what would it be?
I will say travel. But I think I would travel to mostly Spanish speaking countries so that I could work on building my confidence in speaking Spanish. I love to travel and see different cultures and customs.
4. What is your favorite mistake and why?
Geez, I really have no idea. I haven’t made any HUGE mistakes, but I have had the regular ol’ trial and error mishaps that made me the person I am today.
5. The craziest thing you've ever found in your car that perhaps wasn't yours?
There is always something interesting to be found in my car (I am not all that great about keeping my car clean…oops). I have found CDs I thought long lost, a single shoe, several mismatched socks, sweaters, and even a pair of pants (why am I disrobing in my car?). There is constantly dog hair and empty coffee cups. Old mail too but that usually gets removed after a day or two because I remember I need something out of the mail I tossed in the back seat. I currently have a pillow (this is starting to sound like I am homeless) and painting supplies in the back. Nothing in there surprises me anymore and it is always mine.
6. What is the best gift you've ever received?
Well the kiss mentioned earlier happened a week before my 16th birthday so that was a pretty good gift. But I would have to say my bocky bocky was the best gift. I must have only be about 2 ½ and Christmas morning I run out to see what Santa has left me under the tree. There in all its amazing glory was my bocky bocky. One of those bouncy rocking horses. There was a blow up Santa sitting on it and my dad likes to remind me that I ran up chanting bocky bocky (hey, I was little, screaming ROCKING HORSE was a little outside my vocabulary so instead I called it bocky bocky, kind of like rocky rocky), grabbed Santa by his arm and flung his ass across the room so that *I* could ride my bocky bocky. This may have been the moment my love affair with horses started.
*please forgive the picture quality, my scanner was being a snatch so these are pictures of pictures.
7. As a kid your favorite thing to do/play was?
Well besides riding the bocky bocky…Riding my big wheel or bike around the neighborhood. There were also horses down the road so I would go feed them apples and try and get them close enough so I could pet them
8. Answer the following question: If I didn't blog I'd probably ____________.
Need a lot more therapy. Blog helps get it all out before it explodes inside. The good, the bad, and the ugly!
P.S. I found this picture while looking for my bocky bocky pictures, of my mom when she was MY age while pregnant with ME!
Now for my 8 questions:
1. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
2. What is your all time favorite picture of you and can we see it?
3. What is one thing you know you should throw away but probably never will?
4. What is one of your biggest regrets? (yeah I know, everything happens for a reason, but still what is something you wish you had done differently?)
5. What was your first IM/Screen Name/Email account name and why did you pick it? (I really hope it was something completely cheesy!)
6. What is the oddest inanimate object you have been caught talking to?
7. What thought or message would you put in a fortune cookie?
8. Why did you start blogging?
And these lovelies have been tagged:
Friday, September 24, 2010
Ring. Ring. (okay my phone really doesn’t make a ringing sound, but whatever)
Dad: Did I wake you up?
*no but it is only 6:45am so I haven’t spoken to anyone yet, the voice is a little scratchy
*a little concerned that my dad is calling me so early in the morning.
Dad: Your mom and I are in the ER with Sam (my middle brother).
Dad: He crashed his bike and broke his ankle.
I head to the ER to see the damage. Apparently Sam misjudged a curb and crashed his bike and ended up dislocating his ankle and breaking it in two places. The dislocation and breakage also were cutting off a major blood supply to his foot.
Some back story: Sam is chef at a local higher end restaurant. He is an amazing cook and can create dishes from almost anything. I on the other hand can microwave the hell out of a frozen dinner. He works late, usually getting done with work after midnight. He also likes to ride his bike to and from work (he’s kind of hippie like that and also likes the exercise).
The night of the incident Sam and a co-worker were celebrating Sam’s promotion to sauté chef. They had a couple beers at the restaurant and then they decided to head to one of the bars in the area for another drink or two. At the bar Sam and companion have another drink and decide to hit up one last bar before last call. Now I also want to mention that Sam was not wasted, he had had about 4 drinks in the span of several hours, but he was feeling good. Between the first bar and the second is when the accident occurred.
He was riding his bike in the street and wanted to move onto the sidewalk. There was a driveway up ahead and Sam attempted to move onto the sidewalk there. He isn’t sure if there was a bigger lip in the driveway or what exactly happened, but somehow his bike didn’t make it and Sam and bike went boom. And Sam’s ankle went crack! This was a little before 3 am.
When I arrived at the ER Sam was one some serious pain killers and was feeling pretty good. He was cracking jokes and talking about how the whole family should go get Thai food that night. He kept asking for water because his mouth was like the Sahara (a little alcohol dehydration and lot of pain killer cotton mouth). Once it was determined that he would not have surgery on his ankle that day he was allowed some water. When his water was empty he attempted to slyly swipe our mom’s coffee, she just laughed at him because her coffee is just coffee and cream, no sugar. Sam likes his coffee sweet, his expression was hilarious.
My other brother Alex had come to see Sam around 5am and I guess when he got there he looks at Sam’s ankles and says, “Which one did you break? They are both pretty fat.” Sam’s broken ankle was the size of a grapefruit. See how my family is…
Of course when I got there I started taking pictures! And you’re welcome.
They were splinting his leg to take him for more scans
*when they were rolling him back to the room after his scans he stuck his hand out to get high fives from all the nurses at the nurses station. A couple of the nurses left him hanging, but it was funny!
He really enjoyed me taking photos
Chatting on the phone with his wife, while wearing our dad’s hat he swiped a few minutes before.
His ankle is going to require surgery so they can stabilize it with steel plates and screws. He is in a lot agony now that the hospital pain killer has worn off, but the Percocet is helping a little. He meets with the surgeon today to schedule the surgery. We are all hoping Sam won’t be laid up too long because, well, his job requires him to be on his feet.
Please send good thoughts for his speedy recovery!
Monday, September 20, 2010
I haven’t blogged in awhile because I don’t want to have post after post after post about how sad I am or how much my heart hurts or how angry and disappointed I am. Because those are all the things I am feeling.
I am also feeling relieved, like I am on the brink of starting something new and exciting and hopefully life altering. I am no longer waiting on Mike to make a decision so I can go forward. So I can make future plans. I don’t have to think about anyone else or how they will play into my future.
I am excited to start this new chapter in my life and the idea of finding someone who will be my companion on this crazy journey of mine.
Plus, think of all the great blogging material I will have when I reenter the dating world. Hello!
There are moments where the loneliness creeps in along with the doubt and anger. These are the moments I realize I am not quite ready to jump into the dark unknown waters of the dating world just yet. But these moments are getting fewer and farther between. And my amazing friends never let me be lonely for long.
I have also been taking care of me. Eating better, doing things I love – going to movies, knitting, reading, etc. I am rediscovering me, the single me. And I remember how much I like me and how awesome I am.
Paint colors have been running through my head for the various rooms in my house. I am sick of looking at the white walls. My house needs some personality. I want to make it my own, put my stamp on it. And that is just what I am going to do. I plan to turn my second bedroom into a room for relaxing and reading and if friends come to visit a place where they can sleep. As of right now this is kind of my room for stuff I am not sure where to put.
I am hunkering down and settling in, because the next guy in my life is going to have to make an effort to be in my life. I am not going to be the only one making the effort.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
My friends are awesome. Blog friends totally included. Thank you all for the comments on my break up post.
Eating your weight in junk food will not heal a hurting heart, but it will piss off your tummy and your whole digestive system in general. You’re welcome.
Mike’s an idiot (okay probably not really, but work with me here!) My heart is hurting and he just seems like…oh well onto the next one (okay, again probably not really, but he doesn’t seem upset at all).
Boys react way differently than girls to heartache.
It pisses me off that he was so quick to run to MY sister-in-law’s aid this week when she was having internet issues, but I don’t even warrant a damn phone call. It also pisses me off that she sought him out for help. It has only been a week, don’t I get dibs on my own family and friends?
Also, I totally purchased “It’s called a break up because it’s broken” based on several recommendations from my lovely bleeps. Along with “How to heal a broken heart in 30 days” we’ll see how it goes.
I have become one of “those” Lost people. I started watching the show earlier this summer to see what all hoopla was about. I was unimpressed for the first few seasons and then toward the end of season 3 is when I really became hooked. I am now like a junkie looking for my next fix. I just finished season 5 and I am trying to get my hands on disc 1 of season 6. I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!
And I might be going back to school real soon…eek!
Oh and did I mention you are all awesome?!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I suppose from the title you can guess what this post is about…
Mike and I ended our relationship. It would have been three years on Nov 1st. It still doesn’t seem real.
It turns out we want different things for our futures. I want children and he doesn’t. Back in February he told me that his hesitation with getting married wasn’t the marriage, it was knowing that if he said yes to marriage he was also saying yes to children. So, I told him he would need to make a decision. I was willing to wait for awhile, but that I wasn’t willing to hang around for years hoping he would finally decide in favor of children.
Since February I have been living in limbo, waiting for Mike to decide. Last week the stress and anxiety were just getting to be too much so I told Mike I needed a decision. He ultimately said that he doesn’t want children right now and doesn’t know if that will ever change.
And I told him our relationship was over.
How do you start over after 3 years? Who do you talk to about your day when the person you talked to everyday is no longer around? How do you just stop it all?
A part of me hopes that Mike will change his mind and realize he has made the wrong decision. But I also know that I can’t spend my time waiting for this to happen. I know I want children and if Mike truly doesn’t then I need to move on and find the person that I am meant to create a family with.
I am 29. Not old by any means, but since I know I want children, I can’t waste my time on someone who doesn’t. Unlike Mike, my fertility is on a time table and if Mike is not meant to be my life partner then I need to start my heart healing so I can find the person I am meant to be with.
The hardest part is he was such a huge part of my everyday. We would talk everyday. Go to lunch during the week. Spend whole weekends together. We had plans for this weekend and this fall and even Christmas. All those plans are no more. I haven’t spoken to him since Saturday, not quite an eternity, but it feels like it.
My heart is hurting a lot. There have been lots of tears.
My friends are amazing though. They listen to me cry. They keep me company and make sure I have eaten. And they remind me how awesome I am. And that I really am a great catch and that I will find the person I am meant to be with. And how strong I am for knowing what I want and actually doing the hard thing and not simply settling.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
I went to Vegas two weekends ago.
It was my first trip there.
When we first arrived in Vegas it was hot (duh!), late, and I was tired after having worked a full day before catching the plane. I was traveling with my mom and my dad and Mike. If you know you my mom you know that this was stressful already.
I was less than enchanted with this fabled city. But the next day Mike and I hit the town and saw the sights. We started the morning (or in some parts of the world it would be considered afternoon…whatevs) like this:
And in no time at all I was digging the city and looking like this:
Vegas at night was definitely something to see. I am already planning the “E is turning 30, let’s party in Vegas!” celebration :) (that’s this coming June if you're keeping track)
Several of my aunts and uncles and a few cousins were there (my cousins were 9, 7, and 5 so we didn’t party it up per se). It was great to see family I hadn’t seen in awhile and just have a weekend away from it all.
My dad with 4 of his 8 siblings. They are in birth order with my dad as the oldest on the left.
The whole gang after dinner.
I really enjoyed the Freemont Experience and the Strip was fun to see at night, but since I was there with family I wasn’t all about the clubs and stuff so the strip was just “meh” during the day.
We also went to see the MGM lions (totally dug it) and of course the famous white lions and tigers at the Mirage, and the dolphins too. They had baby tigers. Smooshy and cute and cuddly baby tigers!
Overall I had a great time!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
She was so amazing and has been rocking for over 31 years. She knows what the fans want and she gives it to them. She is also teeny tiny but a total rockstar.
And now for the REAL reason you all stopped by to read this post today...The Winner of my giveaway!
Lucky number 10 is the big winner.
And lucky number 10 is Jodey/Fat Chick Biker! Congratulations Jodey.
**And I promise to get pictures of the purple hair for everyone :)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
My sister-in-law being a hair stylist = best thing ever! I got mah hair did today. There are purple chunks and I love it. I am also pretty sure I will be the little old lady with bright purple hair one day. I will rock it.
Speaking of purple hair, I am going to see Pat Benatar in concert tonight. Woo hoo! It will be glorious, I have my big hoop earrings and fingerless lace gloves all ready. Now if I could just find my blue eye shadow...
I just heard a snore, I think my cubie neighbor is sleeping. That's not fair! I want a nap too.
This Friday is Relay for Life in my region of the world and I am co-captain. It is exhausting and stressful, but I know the day of, it will be worth it. I have had several people, friends and family start fighting cancer this year and I have even lost a friend to cancer just a little over a month ago. Even if you don't donate to my team, please donate in some way to any number of teams or even just to the American Cancer Society. Everyone needs more birthdays!
Oh and AND a week from Friday I will be in Vegas! I have never been before and am really excited to go. Not to gamble, but just to see all there is to see.
I'll be back tomorrow to announce the winner of my giveaway. If you haven't yet, enter ALREADY! Geez.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Remember that post from oh…forever and a day ago where I talked about doing a giveaway? Well this is it!
I hope you’re wearing your party hat, because not only is this a giveaway, it’s my VERY FIRST giveaway ever. Ever.
The people at CSN Stores were kind enough to give me a promotional code and this is what I chose from cookware.com:
Aren’t they lovely and that color is definitely my color. The bigger dish is 9” square and the smaller on is 5” square. Sigh Le Creuset
Since I live by myself, the 5” dish was perfect for making a meal for one.
Asparagus Chicken Bake:
*Preheat oven to 375
1 chicken breast (I had chicken tenders, I used 2)
¼ cup chicken broth
1 cup chopped asparagus
Minced onion (I had some dried minced onion and just sprinkled some on until I thought it was good for me)
Garlic (yes please!) (again, it calls for 1 clove minced. Being the garlic lover that I am I have a Costco size jar of minced garlic in my fridge…I used about a tsp, but really can you have too much garlic?)
Small handful of croutons
I crushed the croutons up and then mixed it with the minced garlic and onion. Place the chicken and asparagus in the baking dish, pour in the chicken broth, and top with the crouton/garlic/onion mix. Put in the oven and back for 30 minutes.
It was super yummy. In fact I liked it so much I made the next day for dinner too :) I am in love with my new baking dishes!
Now for the giveaway…CSN would like to offer one of my readers their very own $30 promotional code to any of their sites. www.allmodern.com, www.luxebycsn.com, and cookware.com are just a few of many. The code is only good once and cannot be split between orders. It also does not cover any shipping costs.
Simply leave a comment. Yep, really, that’s it. One entry per person. The giveaway will end Wednesday August 4th at 11:59pm. And it is open to all US and Canadian readers. The winner will be chosen using random.org.
***CSN Stores offered me the promotional codes in exchange for a review of their product***
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Well looky here…I am actually posting! Have you missed me? Where you wondering what had become of me? No, let’s just pretend that you have. Mkay.
My last post was one month ago to the day. Geez, and I call myself a blogger. Well, I am a blogger but I guess I have a “real” life too, who knew. I promise the contest I mentioned will be happening. I just got sidetracked with life and haven’t been able to get to it just yet. Stay tuned!
What has happened since my last post:
*I turned 29! Woo hoo. So far so good. I kind of like 29.
*I celebrated the 4th of July. My neighborhood had a block party and where my friend Jen lives is an excellent spot to park my camping chair and have front row seats for the fireworks.
*I worked and worked and worked…meh
*I found out my job rotation is going to end early and I will be returning to my regularly scheduled programming effective July 26th. I was more annoyed with how the news was delivered than anything else. And the confirmation that politics are alive and well.
*I completed my second knitting project, a grocery bag
Are you impressed? ‘Cause I am! And I swear I did all the work myself. Don’t listen to anything Jackie says. He’s trying to take all the credit.
*I took a staycation and spent a fabulous week at home not doing anything. Just snuggling my dog. Watching the World Cup and le Tour de France. It was great. And BIG BROTHER started!!!!!!! Yes, I watch Big Brother and I love every insane minute of it.
*I booked my first visit to Vegas! I am going in August and I am so excited. But I do realize that it will hotter than…well you get the idea. I am still so excited. I will be there from the 13th through the 16th. If you are there and want to meet up for drinks…
*I have been working for my Relay For Life team, trying to get ready for our Relay which, is August 6th and 7th. Figuring out the details and having a garage sale and other fundraising activities.
*An amazing woman lost her fight with cancer after a long and brutal battle. I am lucky to have gotten the chance to call her friend. And it has just reinforced my passion for Relay. I know there will be a post dedicated to her really soon, probably after her service that is this weekend. I miss you Carole.
If you can, please donate to my Relay for Life team because every breath someone takes after hearing “You have cancer” is a breath they take as a survivor.
How have you been? What have you been up to?
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
I had a birthday bash/house warming party, because along with my new age I also have a new house (well, new since August). I have been working on my backyard like a fiend trying to get it ready for the party.
First I had some pavers laid. They turned out so well. Even better than I expected.
After that I decided I wanted a flagstone patio…but I had spent all my money for hired help on the pavers. That meant I had to do the flagstone myself. And when I say myself I really mean, me, Mike (he was out there from beginning to end), Jen, my dad, and my brother Alex. They all helped me dig a giant hole, then lay gravel and sand and eventually the flagstone itself.
Look I even have some garden beds because I am going to try and be all 'urban farmery' (raised beds made by my brother Sam) Oh and P.S. The sand on the flagstone in this picture has been spread out more and not all piled up in several spots.
Since the majority of my backyard was now complete it was time to PARTAY! Except the weather decided to go all crappy on me. I fretted that it would rain the day of my party and that would have been terrible. I have way more yard than house and the whole point of the party was to have people hang out outside, not be squished together inside the house! Fortunately the day of the party came and the weather was beautiful!
I had a lot of fun. So much fun in fact that I didn’t take a single picture (and I call myself a blogger, sheesh!)
Speaking of fun, now that I have completed most of the outside work I have turned my attention to the inside. I am thinking paint colors and art pieces and possibly a new vanity for my bedroom or the spare room. There is just so much I want to do!
Also, in honor of my birthday…I am going to be doing a review/giveaway! My very first on this here little blog. Stay tuned!
P.S. As a birthday gift to me, you should all donate to my Relay for Life Team! Come one, cancer sucks so give me your bucks.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The plan was to head out Saturday morning, meet up with our friends who had staked out a site the night before and camp through Monday morning. We only made it to Sunday, early afternoon. It looked like it was going to rain either that evening, night or early the next morning. Now I already stated I am not a camper. I am REALLY not a camper when it involves me getting wet insert 12 y/o boy giggles and jokes here. I don’t want to have to try and figure out how to feed myself while battling the rain or have to pack up the tent and all the camping “stuff” in the rain and subsequent mud.
When those grey clouds started to move in, Mike opted for us to leave and head back into town. Smart, smart man.
I guess for me I don’t see the appeal in packing up all my worldly belongs (minus anything remotely electronic) and trekking out into the woods. I mean, I have a perfectly comfortable bed (that I don’t spend enough time with) at my house. I have a stove and indoor plumbing and refrigeration and insulated walls that keep the heat in. And I have internets and TV. Why do I need to leave…ever?
Camping is supposed to be relaxing? It stresses me out to the max.
Did I have fun? Yes. It was nice to spend time with friends and just hang out, tell jokes and eat s’mores (lub me some s’mores). It was nice to not really think about what was happening on FB or be tied to my computer and blackberry. But this little bit of fun does not outweigh my dislike. For me there are more cons than pros to camping.
Will I go camping again? Most likely. Mike enjoys camping and so do several of our friends. But I will not initiate any camping trip. It will not be my first choice in how I want to spend my time off. But I will and I won’t hate it and I will smile and do my best to be pleasant. I will be a good sport. And as I sit in a camp chair, trying to ignore the dirt under my fingernails while roasting a marshmallow and drinking a beer, I will imagine I am at a 5 star hotel with direct path to the beach and beautiful view of the ocean with a fruity drink complete with an umbrella in my hand.
P.S. You should donate to my Relay for Life Team! http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ehauk
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
You know your job is good when you end the work day discussing strippers. And it is completely work related and relevant to the work we do! For real. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
As class let out and people filed out there were smiles on the faces and giggles could be heard fading down the hallway.
Do you know some of the self employment costs strippers might have?…
Me: What do we consider self employment?
Me: Blah blah blah, meet these criteria, blah blah blah
(I am sure this is how I sound to the class)
HS: And remember we may get people coming in who say they are drug dealers or prostitutes and they won’t have receipts to verify their income.
(Hi Helena! Everyone say hi to Helena)
Student: Yeah and strippers. Would we consider them having to purchase ”outfits” as an expense?
Me/HS: It could be, but could also depend. You and I have to purchase clothing appropriate for our employment, but would we consider that a cost? Possibly.
**This is where I have the best line…EVER**
Me: Another cost they might incur, grooming costs
The laughter was immediate, some were in utter shock, and I couldn’t help but giggle myself.
Me: Come on, you all know what I am talking about!
Ah yes the day ended on a positive note, even if there is one very trying student in the class. But hey, there is usually one and she will only make me a better trainer in the long run.
My mind lives in the gutter, geez. Why do you think I have to wash my hair so often! And here is evidence that I have even corrupted my cat. I give you miss Maggie doing her impression of what dirty girls do:
You’re welcome and good night!
P.S. You should really donate to my Relay for Life team! http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ehauk
Friday, May 7, 2010
I left work early Wed afternoon and completely opted out of work on Thurs. I have an hour commute and the thought of driving made me want to cry and probably would not have been the best idea as my vision was slightly blurred and I was nauseous. And I couldn’t even imagine looking at a computer all day long, my eyeballs throbbed just thinking about it.
It was brutal.
I slept when I could, in a dark room, a cold pack over my eyes, snuggled with my Jackie. I found the thought of food completely unappealing. Me not be interested in food = major problem. I love food. I eat food even when my tummy is upset because it just might make it feel better.
I have been drinking lots of water just in case this headache is the cause of dehydration. I hate having a headache. The stress of it causes my shoulders to tense up, adding to the problem. The muscles in my neck are as hard as rocks.
Migraines suck ass!
Fortunately the pain is now just a dull ache, more a residual pain left over from the debilitating pain of yesterday.
P.S. You should donate to my Relay For Life team. All the cool kids are doing it!
Monday, May 3, 2010
For them I Relay.
Every dollar raised is $1 closer to finding a Cure. One step closer to "YOU HAVE CANCER" being words no one has to hear again. It will become a thing of the past.
I honor Grandma Sue, Grandpa Charlie, Carole, Fern, Cindy, and Little Ezra by participating in Relay For Life and raising money to eradicate cancer. Every breath they take after hearing that heart stopping word CANCER is another breath they take as a Survivor!
My goal in participating in Relay For Life is to make every single cancer patient a survivor and ultimately cancer free and healthy.
I am asking for your help in reaching my personal goal of raising $250.00 for this year's Relay For Life. Help me raise the funds so we can say someone else is a cancer survivor. Every donation is appreciated, $1, $5, $10, $25...nothing is too small!
If you would like to donate please click on the link I have posted to my participation page.
Thank you for your support.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Since the last time I posted:
• My brother got married
• I have been traveling up a storm with work
• I had a paver patio put in, in my backyard
• I planted 3 trees in my backyard, each one requiring a ginormous hole…have I mentioned the “dirt” in my backyard is actually clay after the first 18 inches?!
• I became addicted to Dexter, I have watched all 3 seasons on DVD and I really think season 4 needs to get over already and released on DVD.
• I am in the process of knitting a grocery bag, it’s challenging but actually looking like a bag and not a knotted mess. (P.S. I am in a knitting group and this only my second project EVER, the first was a scarf)
• My car and I were in a minor collision with some tire debris kicked up by a semi while driving home from work one day on the interstate going 70+ mph. I am fine; the car was a little banged up.
• My car is now fixed
• The chunk of my front spoiler that was ripped off in the above mentioned collision can still be seen on the side of road.
That is my last month in a nutshell.
I have been keeping up with all of you lovelies though. Never fear, I continue to stalk your pages and even occasionally leave a comment or two.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Several of you have done the “what’s in your purse” posts and today I decided to jump on that boat! Besides, I just got a new purse so overall my purse is pretty clean and I am not embarrassed by what may be inside.
My brother is getting married this weekend and I needed a dress for the event. Jen and I headed to the outlet mall. I found a dress I really like and discovered that there is a Coach store! Sigh, I love me some Coach. Along with my new dress I now have a new purse and wallet:
But I know you are all here to really see what is inside the purse and not the purse itself…but you must admit, that is one beautiful bag.
1. Stamps, yeah, I carry stamps in my purse. I am the person when you ask, “Does anyone have a stamp?” who responds, “Yes.” and then gives you one and doesn’t even expect you to pay for it. Also there is my bluetooth (I hate that thing, but I commute everyday around 80 miles each way and driving and talking on the phone is a no-no). Lastly is a nail file, hang nails are a bitch!
2. My new beautiful wallet, nuf said.
3. My work ID badges and if you look closely you can also see the pair of earrings that I discovered in the bottom of my purse.
4. The love of my life…also known as my blackberry.
5. Gum, essential. And several pens and a sticky note pad sometimes you just need to leave a quick love note.
6. My Starbucks gift card and my punch card for Dutch Bros, another coffee place – drink coffee much? Check! The other card is the business card for my landscaper guy who is starting next week.
7. Inhaler, vital if I want to keep breathing; eye drops and no I am not a stoner, I have issues with my tear ducts and sometimes my eyes dry out; lip gloss and hand lotion, it’s important to keep the lips and hands soft and smooth and kissable ;)
8. Keys, several pairs. One set is to my house and my parents house and the second set are my work keys.
9. And lastly…my passport! You never know when you might need to make a quick get away. It is important to always be prepared, just in case.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
There are so many things I want to blog about and I have started several different posts over the weeks. I have even written whole posts in my head but then I get a minute to myself in front of the computer and all I want to do is check Facebook (aka feed my addiction) and then go to bed.
As you may know, I started a new job at the beginning of March. It involves a long commute when I am “in the office” and then there is also quite a bit of traveling, overnight traveling around the state. Last week I was in Portland M-Th and then Friday I was briefly in the office for two hours where I gathered all the material I would need for this coming week’s training.
I am loving the job! But adjusting is taking some time. And it is always hard when you aren’t sleeping in your own bed. My Jackie is staying with Mike while I am out of town and Jen is feeding the Maggie. Impersonal hotel rooms just don’t offer the comfort the my creatures do when they are snuggled up next to me.
This week, Mon and Tues I am Co-Training my very first training. I am no longer just observing. I am nervous but excited. Wish me luck. I have been teaching small sections to get practice speaking in front of people. The first time I was given a larger portion I felt really good about it. The trainees were all responsive and gave good feedback. I was feeling good…then it was break time and I went to the bathroom and realized my zipper had been down the entire time! Awesome.
Oh well at least I got it out of the way early on, right?
The weather has been crazy and unpredictable. It will be sunny and blue skies one minute and the next it is torrential downpours. You know the rain is bad when drivers is Oregon are driving super slow. And of course it only decides to open up and dump all the rain on me when I am transferring my suitcase from my car into the State Car or trying check into the hotel. It also makes driving a little more treacherous. Stupid rain!
The rain and sun mixture has also caused the weeds in my backyard aka the jungle, go completely insane! The grass is taller than my dog, I can’t even see him when he is running around out there. So, today I decided to tackle the yard (well and the landscaper guy is coming in the morning and I don’t want him to see the craziness that is my backyard!) Mike came over and helped me weed whack the shit out of the jungle. It actually looks pretty normal and scary overgrown.
I am really going to try and get back into my blogging groove! And just because I may not be posting much I am still out here and keeping up with all of your blogs. You’re my blog buddies and I heart you lots and lots!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Dear Psycho drivers, slow drivers, idiot drivers, etc
…please stay off the road while I am on my commute.
I have started listening to NPR during my commute. I find it interesting and much more informative than the music station, which liked to inform me about celebrity happenings (I kind of miss that though, but that’s why the internet has people.com).
Jake the Bachelor is an idiot and should just keep his mouth shut. On DWTS, when he said proposing to Vienna was the honor of his life, I almost vomited. And even my dog was all, “Bitch please.
*but I do enjoy Niecy with her jiggly bits and Buzz with his moon walk.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I miss my car.
I mean, I have a car, but I miss MY car.
I have had several cars over the course of my driving lifetime. The original car: The Jetta. It was older than I was, only one radio station came in and that was only because I had a giant nail in the place where antennae should have been. There was black electrical tape along the side of the back driver side door so it would match the rest of the siding (the car was white but had black strips on the sides). It was the car that left a puff of black smoke behind as it pulled away AND the windshield leaked when it rained! I live in Western Oregon. IT IS ALWAYS RAINING!!!!! (that’s why my dad drilled a hole in the floorboard, he rocks)
That car was my first taste of freedom. It was mine and I could come and go as I pleased (okay I was 16, so obviously there were restrictions on my coming and going). That car was a tank (them Germans know how to make a durable, sturdy car) and I adored it.
My second car was a suzuki esteem wagon, named Tabitha, lovingly called Tabby. I had Tabby in college and you could cram all your crap into her at the end of the school year and make the long trek home. You could cram her full of drunk college girls and make 2am taco runs. She braved snow storms and flying rocks aimed at her windshield. Tabby was a great car who will always be associated with great college memories.
My current car is a toyota matrix (not one of the recalled ones). I purchased it because the payment were less than my other car payment and I needed a smaller car payment so I could make a mortgage payment and not have to eat ramen noodles everyday. I bought it from a friend who sold it because they were getting a minivan to accommodate their growing family. It is a peppy, zippy little car and gets pretty fabulous mileage (bonus since I now commute 75 miles to work, each way, everyday). But I have no emotional attachment to this car. I needed a car and this one does the job. It’s just a car.
The car I had to let go when I bought my house is the car that had my heart. It was a beautiful dark blue honda civic. It was brand new. I drove it off the lot with only 3 miles on the odometer. I knew I “shouldn’t” buy a new car because it loses value the minute I leave the dealership. I didn’t care. I don’t have any kids and my two biggest financial responsibilities were rent and student loans, I wanted to splurge on me! I had done research and test driven several different makes and models and this was the car for me. I loved it. That car was my baby. When my mom’s bike fell over in the garage and scratched my shiny new hood, I wept. Then paid to have it buffed out and painted.
Have I mentioned how much I loved that car. There was an ache in my chest when I realized I was going to have to part with it.
Yes, I know, it was just a car. But it was my first big, “I’m a grown up” purchase. Besides my college education it was the most money I had ever spent on anything. It was mine and I did it on my own. I really loved that car.
I ended up selling it to my soon to be sister in-law and I am hope she enjoys it as much as I did. I am happy I was able to give her a great deal on a fabulous car. But I am still a little sad.
Several people I work with all drive civics and every time I see them pull in or I spot their car parked in the parking lot, I get a little nostalgic. I remember the feeling of my first NEW car.
It’s ridiculous to feel this way about a car, but I do.
Sigh, one day I will get another one, maybe even the hybrid version (my inner hippie just cheered) (I am already planning and saving). Until then I will continue to drive my matrix and put all the miles onto this car that I have no feelings for. And I will work on paying it off so that I have more flexibility in my future car options.
Do you have a favorite car?
P.S. I found out today that my car needs a new catalytic converter, awesomeness...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
DID you know there are people AWAKE at 5:45am...yeah, me neither.
So I am working on getting into my new groove.
I promise to be back soon!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Today was a slightly less than awesome day. But it ended alright.
When you are told you aren’t allowed to eat is when there seems to be food everywhere and all you think about is food.
This afternoon I had a upper GI Endoscopy done. Awesome sauce. Basically they stick a tube/camera down your throat to look at your esophagus and stomach and the first part of your small intestine.
The important thing to note, is that in order to do this procedure you aren’t allowed to eat for at least 6 hours prior to the procedure. Well, my procedure was scheduled for 2pm, which means no food after 8am. I have to be at work at 8am and I wait until the last possible minute to get up in the morning and then I eat once I actually get to work.
I love food, but I love me some sleep even more. So I get to work and am about to do my normal breakfast routine and realize, I CAN’T EAT ANYTHING! And I haven’t eaten since dinner last night. This makes my body suddenly think it will never eat again and that I am going to starve to death.
My tummy rumbles and grumbles. And makes the most inappropriate noises at the most inopportune moments.
I was totally starving.
My appointment time rolls around and I strip down my top half* and put on a lovely hospital gown (I know you are so jealous right now). Then the nurse hooks up my IV (oh yeah, bring on the good drugs) and they cover me in a warm blanket and leave. I wait patiently for my turn and while I am waiting I hear the doctor talking to another patient after their procedure. The patient is wondering about eating now that they can and the Dr says they should start out with something light and nothing too greasy as it may upset their stomach.
I am laying in the darkened room, starting to freeze because the room was frigid and the warm blanket was now just a blanket. And all I can think about is how I really want a cheeseburger and some french fries. He just had to go and start talking about greasy food, thanks a lot! My stomach also lets out the LOUDEST growl ever.
But I guess it is better to be thinking about food than to be stressing out about my procedure.
Finally it is my turn, I am rolled in to the room where the procedure will be done and the Dr starts chatting with me, his rock music playing in the background (not really soothing to me, but hey that’s what the drugs are for and I want him on the top of his game). He turns to me after a few minutes and says, “Are you okay? You seem stressed.” Um yeah, you are about to make me be unconscious while you stick a tube down my throat…makes me a little nervous.
After that the next thing I know I am waking up in the recovery room, Mike is sitting next to me. The nurse asks me a few questions (I have no idea what) and then I am ready to get dressed and head home. I manage to get my bra and shirt back on, then sway and wobble as I stand up slowly.
My world was still fuzzy and that is why Mike was my driver :) Again, all my fuzzy brain can think about it food. So when I get home I have some soup and my tummy smiles.
After Mike leaves Jackie and I decide it is time to watch so TV and just chill on the couch. And by watch TV and chill, I really mean pass out asleep on the couch. We slept for several hours. It was great. And I woke up to Survivor on TV, woo hoo! Sometimes fuzzyland is a fun place to visit.
And because I know you all are wondering, my esophagus is just fine. Everything looks perfect :) Yea me!
*I was told to disrobe from waist up, but to leave my pants and socks on. The bed I was on had a pad on it right where my butt was located. It was kind of like a puppy pad. Now if someone expects me to lose control of my bladder or worse, then I really think I should have been told to remove my pants too! I assume that is for patients who are getting endoscopies from the other end. And no, the pad was not necessary for moi.
Friday, February 19, 2010
This book spans the years Dr. Nick spent as Elvis’s personal doctor and the years after Elvis’s death. It shows the depth of Elvis’s personality, more than just his public persona, the man behind the King of Rock ‘N Roll. It depicts how Dr. Nick fought to clear his own name and Elvis’s from the cloud of “drug overdose”.
I found this book to be quite interesting. I am not a huge Elvis fan and I don’t know all that much about him. Before I read this book I just “knew” Elvis had died in the bathroom at Graceland from a heart attack believed to be caused by a drug overdose and years of drug abuse. True die hard Elvis fans would probably really enjoy this book (and the photos). The man portrayed by Dr. Nick was devoted to his daughter, loved to make people happy, and hated for anyone to be mad at him.
Dr. Nick discusses the struggles of treating a patient such as Elvis, because people with that kind of celebrity don’t want to hear “no”. And if they do hear “no” they have the resources to find someone who will say “yes”. Public figures have erratic schedules and demands on their time and energy that seriously impact their overall health and well being. It is obvious from this book that Dr. Nick truly cared for Elvis and his other patients.
But in the end, Dr. Nick made a nice scapegoat when people wanted someone to blame for Elvis’s death. There had to be someone to point the finger at when people wanted answers. And unfortunately that person was Dr. Nick. This book also highlights the power of public opinion versus facts presented.
If you are an Elvis fan, I highly recommend this book. And even if you aren’t, but want to know a little bit more about him, this is an excellent read.
I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com
Saturday, February 13, 2010
I know there are people out there who groan and grumble about how much they dislike Valentine’s Day.
I know that many people call it a hallmark holiday. Created solely to sell cards and candy and flowers. It is not a “true” holiday.
I hear people call it SAD (Single Awareness Day). And that all the lovey dovey stuff makes people want to vomit.
But I adore Valentine’s Day.
To me, it is a day to remember to let those we love, know we love them. It is a reminder to say “I love you” to friends and family and partners. It is not only for people who are coupled up. There are so many people in my life who I love who do not fall into the category of significant other. But it doesn’t mean I love them any less, I just love them differently.
We get so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, that we don’t always stop to say how much we care. And often we forget until we receive a rude awakening and sometimes we are reminded too late.
So on Valentine’s Day tell everyone you love the you LOVE THEM!
Here are some of the people I love:
My Mom and Dad Mike
My brother Sam aka Schmoolie My soon to be sister-in law Kelsey
My brother Alex aka A-Dawg My best friend Jen