Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Breaking up is hard to do

I suppose from the title you can guess what this post is about…

Mike and I ended our relationship. It would have been three years on Nov 1st.  It still doesn’t seem real.

It turns out we want different things for our futures.  I want children and he doesn’t.  Back in February he told me that his hesitation with getting married wasn’t the marriage, it was knowing that if he said yes to marriage he was also saying yes to children.  So, I told him he would need to make a decision.  I was willing to wait for awhile, but that I wasn’t willing to hang around for years hoping he would finally decide in favor of children.

Since February I have been living in limbo, waiting for Mike to decide.  Last week the stress and anxiety were just getting to be too much so I told Mike I needed a decision.  He ultimately said that he doesn’t want children right now and doesn’t know if that will ever change.

And I told him our relationship was over.

How do you start over after 3 years?  Who do you talk to about your day when the person you talked to everyday is no longer around?  How do you just stop it all?

A part of me hopes that Mike will change his mind and realize he has made the wrong decision.  But I also know that I can’t spend my time waiting for this to happen.  I know I want children and if Mike truly doesn’t then I need to move on and find the person that I am meant to create a family with.

I am 29.  Not old by any means, but since I know I want children, I can’t waste my time on someone who doesn’t.  Unlike Mike, my fertility is on a time table and if Mike is not meant to be my life partner then I need to start my heart healing so I can find the person I am meant to be with.

The hardest part is he was such a huge part of my everyday.  We would talk everyday. Go to lunch during the week.  Spend whole weekends together.  We had plans for this weekend and this fall and even Christmas.  All those plans are no more.  I haven’t spoken to him since Saturday, not quite an eternity, but it feels like it.

My heart is hurting a lot.  There have been lots of tears.

My friends are amazing though.  They listen to me cry.  They keep me company and make sure I have eaten.  And they remind me how awesome I am.  And that I really am a great catch and that I will find the person I am meant to be with.  And how strong I am for knowing what I want and actually doing the hard thing and not simply settling.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Living la vida loca!

I went to Vegas two weekends ago.

It was my first trip there.

When we first arrived in Vegas it was hot (duh!), late, and I was tired after having worked a full day before catching the plane.  I was traveling with my mom and my dad and Mike.  If you know you my mom you know that this was stressful already.

I was less than enchanted with this fabled city.  But the next day Mike and I hit the town and saw the sights.  We started the morning (or in some parts of the world it would be considered afternoon…whatevs) like this:

Before the drink 1

And in no time at all I was digging the city and looking like this:

after drinks

Vegas at night was definitely something to see.  I am already planning the “E is turning 30, let’s party in Vegas!” celebration :) (that’s this coming June if you're keeping track)

Several of my aunts and uncles and a few cousins were there (my cousins were 9, 7, and 5 so we didn’t party it up per se).  It was great to see family I hadn’t seen in awhile and just have a weekend away from it all.

dad and 4 siblings...

My dad with 4 of his 8 siblings. They are in birth order with my dad as the oldest on the left.

gang after dinner

The whole gang after dinner.

I really enjoyed the Freemont Experience and the Strip was fun to see at night, but since I was there with family I wasn’t all about the clubs and stuff so the strip was just “meh” during the day.

We also went to see the MGM lions (totally dug it) and of course the famous white lions and tigers at the Mirage, and the dolphins too.  They had baby tigers.  Smooshy and cute and cuddly baby tigers!


Overall I had a great time!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

31 years later and she still has it!

Pat Benatar = Awesome Sauce!

She was so amazing and has been rocking for over 31 years. She knows what the fans want and she gives it to them. She is also teeny tiny but a total rockstar.

And now for the REAL reason you all stopped by to read this post today...The Winner of my giveaway!

Lucky number 10 is the big winner.

And lucky number 10 is Jodey/Fat Chick Biker! Congratulations Jodey.

**And I promise to get pictures of the purple hair for everyone :)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

A little bit of this and little bit of that

Today is the last day to enter my GIVEAWAY! Come on you know you want to! All the cool kids are doing it. Come on, pretty please...

My sister-in-law being a hair stylist = best thing ever! I got mah hair did today. There are purple chunks and I love it. I am also pretty sure I will be the little old lady with bright purple hair one day. I will rock it.

Speaking of purple hair, I am going to see Pat Benatar in concert tonight. Woo hoo! It will be glorious, I have my big hoop earrings and fingerless lace gloves all ready. Now if I could just find my blue eye shadow...

I just heard a snore, I think my cubie neighbor is sleeping. That's not fair! I want a nap too.

This Friday is Relay for Life in my region of the world and I am co-captain. It is exhausting and stressful, but I know the day of, it will be worth it. I have had several people, friends and family start fighting cancer this year and I have even lost a friend to cancer just a little over a month ago. Even if you don't donate to my team, please donate in some way to any number of teams or even just to the American Cancer Society. Everyone needs more birthdays!

Oh and AND a week from Friday I will be in Vegas! I have never been before and am really excited to go. Not to gamble, but just to see all there is to see.

I'll be back tomorrow to announce the winner of my giveaway. If you haven't yet, enter ALREADY! Geez.
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