Thursday, December 31, 2009

Everyone else is doing it...NYE

So another year is coming to a close in a few short hours (it is already 2010 in many parts of the world).

I have heard many people say they did not enjoy 2009 and are happy to see it go. I am not one of them. While I always enjoy seeing what is in store for the new year, I do not hate 2009 nor do I even dislike 2009. In fact, I even kind of enjoyed 2009 quite a bit.

It was a big year for me and several close friends. My best friend got married. My brother and his fiance bought a house. My little baby brother moved out into his very own apartment. And I bought a house.

I BOUGHT a house!

I honestly never thought a house would be in my future until I was married and was buying with someone else. Or I would be a lot older than I am now if I was buying it on my own. But I did it, it really happened.

I learned more about myself and who I am and what I want out of life and relationships.

My family and friends are all happy and healthy this year.

I have a lot to be grateful for in 2009. To those who are ready to usher out 2009 and the bad juju. Here is to hoping 2010 is the year of your dreams!


Monday, December 28, 2009

Christmas has ended at my house

Christmas is over :( The dark nights are no longer filled with festive bright spots, the music on the radio has gone back to the "everyday", there are no more presents to buy or wrap or unwrap.

I hope everyone had a great holiday and survived the mandatory family time. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and we always laugh when we are together, yet because we know each other so well we know exactly which buttons to push to get an exact reaction. And sometimes even though you know, YOU KNOW, you shouldn't push that big flashing red can't help yourself. And you push it with a smug little smile on your face and watch whichever family member you have singled out, completely implode. Generally for me it is one of my two brothers. And just as they are my favorite targets, I am theirs.

Maybe it's because we don't drink at our family get togethers (my mom is a recovering alcoholic and it is just easier to not drink at all then have the temptation laying around for her). So because we don't have drunken antics to entertain ourselves, we create other drama.

Ahhh, the holidays.

I am still amazed that it is almost 2010. Seriously where have the last 10 years gone? Do you all have exciting New Year's plans? Jen and I are planning on having a Wii party at her house. I plan to kick some serious Wii bowling ass!

I am ready for the nights to get shorter.

I am ready for payday.

I am ready for my 5 day weekend starting on Wednesday.

I am also ready for my TV shows to return. I miss Glee and Modern Family, oh and Castle.

But mostly I am ready for this horrendous headache to go away. I feel like my head is about to explode, I think that might actually hurt less than the headache I have right now.

And on that note, I am getting off the computer because it hurts to concentrate on it.

Good night lovelies and I hope you all had a great holiday and have a fabulous New Year!


Thursday, December 24, 2009

Only suckers work on Christmas Eve

There once was a girl named E and she drank way too much coffee.

She braved the cold and fog and dark and come into the office to work the day before Christmas (she was a saint like that).

The office was dead quiet, not a keyboard was typing or a phone a ringing. Not a worker was stirring…well maybe a mouse or two were scurrying (there has been a mouse problem in the office).

She was bored to tears and wished to be home, so instead of actually working she played on the Facebook and read blogs and wrote blogs. All while wishing she was sipping rum spiked eggnog (except she doesn’t like eggnog), curled on the couch with a Jackie snuggled alongside her, Mike sitting next to her with his arm around her and presents spread before her.

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

It must be in the water

My best friend got married in August.

My best friend from high school just got engaged last month.

A coworker turned good friend got engaged two weeks ago.

A great friend from college became engaged this past weekend.

Another friend from college is getting married on the 30th.

My brother and his fiancé are getting married this April.

Is anyone else sensing a theme? Yeah, me too.

I can taste my envy. But it doesn’t mean I am not still super excited for everyone. I am. I just want to have that too. My heart hurts when I hear the excitement from my friends. I want it so badly. But I am still so happy for all of them and I swallow my yearning, plaster a smile on my face and become their biggest cheerleader! Because my joy for them has nothing to do with my own desires. Even as my heart aches for me, it swells with elation for all of them!

I want to get married, have the stress and excitement of planning a wedding, the thrill of trying on dresses, and the yumminess of cake tasting. But most importantly I want to start building and creating a life and future with my partner. I want to have children and create our own memories and traditions. I want to have setbacks and overdrawn checking accounts and grey hairs caused by our children and the stress they bring, but still know that we love each other and can weather these storms.

Mike and I have been together a little over 2 years. They have not always been the smoothest two years and we have had to overcome several MAJOR obstacles. We have lived together and apart. And we love each other.

There have been times when I thought...we will get married one day, I just need to give him time. And then there have been moments where I thought...we will never get married and I need to just cut my losses already (my ovaries aren’t getting any younger!).

But relationships are complicated. When you think you will be together forever something happens and rattles your confidence. Other times you are convinced your relationship is entering its final act, but you’re so wrong. Relationships are never simple, easy to explain, things. Especially when people’s emotions are involved.

This past weekend, at the Santa Pub Crawl I had a little bit to drink. A smidge if you will. And I drunkenly asked Mike if he thought we were going to get married. Without hesitation he replied, "Yes." **

Wha...’scuse me? How much did I drink?!

Let’s just say that Mike is not the poster child for commitment. He is committed now, but it was a journey. And in the past whenever I have asked him about marriage or the future, he has hemmed and hawed and the subject was quickly changed.

When he answered yes without even thinking, my aching heart gave a little lurch.

Who knows what will happen or when/if we will get married or engaged. But knowing that it is something Mike has thought about and sees happening, has my heart smiling and hoping.

**Mike clarified that that was NOT a marriage proposal :)

Monday, December 21, 2009

Santas crawl

The Santa Pub Crawl was quite the hit! I had a great time, drank too much, and bragged repeatedly about my homemade dress.

I mean, if you make a dress and people tell you how much they like it throughout the night, then you have every right to brag your little heart out!

I hope everyone has a fabulous week leading up to Christmas and all your presents are bought and wrapped and your family get togethers are filled with laughter and not too much yelling.


Thursday, December 17, 2009

See, I can do crafty things

So originally I was going to try and make the yarn wreath created by Gabby over at gabby, she wrote (you should totally go check out her balls). Except I couldn't find all the necessary supplies and I kind of gave up (Michael's failed me). Yeah, that's right, I gave up...for a minute. I might try again this weekend because I have discovered the essential piece of the puzzle - an 8 in metal wreath frame.

I found it at Joann Fabrics.

And I was at Joann Fabrics because when I couldn't find everything for the wreath I decided to make a dress. Yes a dress!

This Friday is the Santa Pub Crawl. Who doesn't think that sounds fun? Dressing up as Santa and meander from bar to bar and sing naughty Christmas Carols.

Except I couldn't find an outfit that did leave my butt flapping in the breeze and me looking like a sausage in the skin tight dress. When the brilliant idea of making my own dress came to me.

Here's the finished product. I am quite impressed!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Yada yada yada

I am tired and cranky. And the smallest things have the ability to irritate me at the moment.

I am nerdishly excited about Sing Off. Like, super nerdy excited. Want to jump around my living room excited (my dog thinks I am crazy).

My mom bought my dog a pirate outfit. 'Cause she thinks things like that are funny like I do. He looks hilarious.

My cat might eat my face off while I am sleeping if don't start managing to feed her at the right time in the evening. I seriously fear for my life.

Cereal for dinner sometimes makes me happy. It's the simple things.

I am going to attempt to make cookies tomorrow. I say attempt because I still need to go to the store, but right now that just seems overwhelmingly exhausting so, we will see how I feel tomorrow.

And that's all I got. Peach out, yo.

Oh and P.S. I called my boyfriend to chat, hadn't talked to him all day...he quickly got off the phone because he was busy playing WoW. Awesome.

Monday, December 7, 2009

To blog or not to blog...

Do you ever have something you are struggling with? Trying to figure out what to do? There are thoughts chasing each other around in your head and you can't grasp one before the next one is there, shoving it's way into your brain. And you just know that blogging about it would really help and getting comments from readers might help you see the light. It just might point you in the right direction and help you actually make a decision.

But you don't blog about it?

Because you know some of the people who actually read your blog. They are real life people who are your friends or family or partner (not that you all aren't "real people" too). And your intention in blogging is not to hurt anyone's feelings. You just want to work through whatever it is you are struggling with.

I am feeling confused about somethings in my life right now and I just want to let it all out. But I can't. Because I know who reads my blog and I love them and wouldn't want to hurt them just so I could work through my "issues".

Please send good juju my way and hopefully everything will just work itself out!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Interview with Aunt Becky

Aunt Becky over at Mommy Wants Vodka is having a give away on her blog and one of the ways to be entered is to answer her most awesome questions and post them on my own blog. And I kind of want to win so, here ya go! You're welcome.

Mommy Wants Vodka

1) Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?

Nah, not really. I like my ice cream pretty plain or maybe with chocolate syrup (I also just about spelled chocolate wrong. How can I call myself a fat kid?!)

2) If you had to choose one word to banish from the English language, what would it be and why?

Well I really like words so this is hard for me, well except for the taboo words. We could get rid of those, but then people would just create new ones. Okay I really dislike cunt, so we can get rid of that one.

3) If you were a flavor, what would it be?

Sarcasm, oh wait that’s not a flavor (but it should be, sweet in the mouth, bitter in the heart).

4) What’s the most pointless annoying chore you can think of that you do on a daily/weekly basis?

Making the bed. I mean seriously, I am going to mess it up in less than 12 hours. What’s the point?

5) Of all the nicknames I’ve ever had in my life, Aunt Becky is the most widely known and probably my favorite. What’s your favorite nickname? (for yourself)

Perky. Apparently I was a really happy child and one of my little friends couldn’t pronounce Erica (it’s a 3 syllable word and that’s hard for the little peeps to handle when they are first learning to talk, yo) so he called me Erky. My nickname quickly became Perky Erky. As I got older the Erky seemed to drop off and now my mom and a few close friends from childhood call me Perky. Or Perks or Perkster, etc you get the idea. And it is also the reason for the name of my blog.

6) You’re stuck on a desert island with the collective works of 5 (and only five) musical artists for the rest of your life. Who are they?

*Mariah Carey
*Rascal Flatts
*Michael Jackson (although I would only listen to his older stuff)
*Stevie Wonder
*Britney Spears (SHUT THE HELL UP! She is entertaining and makes me smile and if I am stuck on a desert island I want some upbeat dance music.)

7) Everything is better with bacon. True or false?

True, but as a Jew I am pretty sure I am supposed to say no because bacon isn’t kosher. Good thing I don’t keep kosher! Phew!

8 ) If I could go back in time and tell Young Aunt Becky one thing, it would be that out of chaos, order will emerge. Also: tutus go with everything. What would you tell young self?

Relax, don't be so serious. And study aboard in college, take that extra year in school, you will never regret it and lots of people take more than 4 years for one degree, let alone two.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I like shiny things :)

Jen and I survived Black Friday. We were up at the crack of dawn...wait, no, it wasn't even close to dawn when we were up. It became dawn as we were wrapping up our adventure. We set out at 3:30 am, armed with coffee and an agenda.

We hit 8 stores in 5 hours, including drive time and breakfast and coffee stops. And we managed to find everything on our list. We also decided that Wal-Mart is not worth it for the most part. We found the stuff we were looking for in the most random places in Wal-Mart, but we found them relatively quickly and then spent about 45 minutes in line waiting to check out, lame. Wal-Mart took us the longest and Home Depot was our quickest and most impressive store. It opened at 6am, we walked up to the door as they were opening them, slipped in through the exit, found an associate to help us find exactly what we were looking for, and checked out at customer service. It took a whooping 7 minutes! *ARM PUMP*

I have to say, that although I am not normally a fan of rising before the sun on any occasion I did enjoy Black Friday. It was fun. And we will probably do it again next year. And the KEY is to have a list and plan out which stores to hit at certain times.

Then on Sunday I hung up my Christmas lights outside. There was some arguing between myself and Mike, but in the end they were put up and all are straight and the timer is working.

And as Jen says...Nothing says the Hauks (pronounced hawk like the bird yo) like Christmas lights on the house and Hanukkah "shit" in the window. Aw yeah, aw yeah!

Don't hate. My mom may be Jewish but she loves any holiday where she can decorate her house, especially if it means she can bring out all the bells and whistles AND string lights along her roofline. And I learned from the best.

So Sunday night my house is completely decked out for the holidays. Monday morning I wake up to my alarm and feel like I have been hit by a freaking bus!

My throat is sore, my nose is all congested, my eyes are watering, and I am utterly miserable. Calling in sick on the Monday after a long weekend always makes me feel a little guilty. And I think that everyone else thinks I am really trying to sleep off a hangover (pssh, I wish).

I basically slept through all of Monday and most of yesterday. And drug my sorry sick ass into the office today. I am tired, but definitely on the mend.

When I get to the office I am clearing out my emails and there is one letting us all know that mice have invaded the building. About ten minutes after reading that email I turn to my mini filing cabinet and as I go to pull out the top drawer I hear the scrambling on little feet as they scurry away.

Awesome-sauce, I have mice in MY cubicle, in MY filing cabinet, munching on MY oatmeal packets! And no I am not scared of mice so it didn't freak me out. I am a little sad knowing they are going to be killed. I mean they are just doing what mice do, but hey, I know we really can't have them running free and loose all over the office. Besides, I want to know my oatmeal is safe.

And Christmas lights are pretty and make me happy and help me feel better.

YEA for the holidays!

Oh and P.S. My jack russell is insane and currently running around the house and growling and barking at miss Margaret (the cat). She is less than amused, but I am laughing hysterically!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Yeah, I love turkey day!

I love Thanksgiving. Seriously, I love it!

I mean, what other holiday is centered solely around eating until you can't breathe, then take a nap or watch some football or take a nap while watching football, then go back for more food? I mean really?! (HELLO, Ima fat kid!)

I like that Thanksgiving is about being thankful for what you have, not focusing on what you still want. It's not a holiday about giving and receiving presents. It is about family and friends.

Sometimes I think Thanksgiving gets lost between Halloween and Christmas, but it is such an important day. Of course we should be thankful everyday, but life can get busy and we can get caught up in the daily hustle and bustle and we forget to acknowledge those things that are truly important. And Thanksgiving offers us that day to remember to be thankful.

I hope you all have a great day! And I am now off to watch the Macy's Day Parade and then it is time to get my eat on :)

**I am thankful for all of you!**

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Little Things

Over at Manic Mother Beth is giving thanks for the little things. As she says, of course I am thankful for a roof over my head, food on my table, and all my friends and family. But what are the little things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving?

I used to try and post daily on myspace 5 things I was thankful for but then I started "really" blogging and kind of fell out of the habit. So, here is a list of 5 of the little things in life I am thankful for:

1. The smell of coffee brewing. Simply the smell makes me smile and my eyes crack open just a smidge more in the morning. Even when I attempt to stop drinking it, the smell is still fabulous.

2. My DVR. Completely shallow and materialistic, but it makes me happy. My life can get crazy busy, as I am sure yours can as well and it is nice to know that the shows I love and yes, crave, are there for me when I get a moment.

3. The feel of my little munchkin aka Jackie snuggled up next to me while we snooze and the little groans he makes whenever I dare to disturb him.

4. Sweater season. I love sweaters and frankly I rock the sweater look. I anxiously await the coming of fall and winter every year so I can pull out my old favorites and hit up the stores to add new additions.

5. Tweezers. As much as I hate to admit it, I have some funky chin hairs. The satisfaction I get from tweezing those bad boys is overwhelming. I hold the offending hair between my tweezers and look at it while cackling maniacally "muwah ha ha ha! I am victorious you evil chin hair!"

So what are some of the little things you are grateful for? Come play along and link up with Manic Mother! All the cool kids are doing it.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Sleeping Beauty

I love sleep. Like, seriously love it. Maybe my love of it comes from not always being able to get it. Having nights where I toss and turn or wake up every few hours.

Weekends make me happy because I don't have to set an alarm. I can wake up leisurely and on my own time...well okay the animals who choose to live with me occasionally demand to be fed or let out to go potty. Gah, they are SOOOO demanding!

This morning I slept in later than I normally do, mainly because I stayed up way later than my usual 11pm bedtime. As I slowly came to consciousness, registering the light peeking through my blinds, the sounds of the world being awake around me, I felt the warmth of my munchkin aka Jackie snuggled next to me. It made me smile. He is the best little snuggler and my own personal space heater. Then I opened my eyes and what do I see? Jack Russell butt inches from my face! Not his best side.

He is now laying on my bed licking his butt. Little butthead (ha ha, see what I did there) why does he have to lick his butt on my bed? There is a reason he has a DOG bed!

Oh well, he knows he's cute and he knows that allows him to get away with things like sticking his butt in my face first thing in the morning and then licking said butt on my bed.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Sticks and Stones...

...may break my bones but words can never hurt me.

This is a lie. Words can hurt the most and leave wounds and scars much deeper than those left by sticks and stones. Some words can leave festering wounds that only appear to have healed, but that can be ripped open with the tiniest whisper. Some words are deemed to have so much negative power that it is taboo to speak them.

They are words that strike at the core of who you are. They attack an essential aspect of your being, your make up, your you-ness. They attack a part that is integral in who you are, but also a part that you have no control over. A part that was not picked, but a part that you were born with. The part of you that carries all your family history and that part of you that will pass onto future generations.

The other day I was called a cheap Jew, after I had been told to take my star of David and shove it. It was hurled angrily at me by a person I considered a friendly acquaintance. It was thrown out with the sole intention of causing hurt and pain. It was a sucker punch to the gut, a low blow.

The hurt was instantaneous and the rage was only half a second behind. I was livid.


Then the red haze began to lift and I realized he was sad and pathetic. He knew he had nothing else with which to hurt me so he went to this dark ugly place. He is unhappy with his life and chose to lash out at me in such a way because that was his only weapon.

And that is when I realized all he warranted from me was pity. He is a sad, small little man. He is nothing to me and he doesn't matter anymore in my life.

My Jew self is awesome!

And P.S. Jerkface, I'm a broke Jew, not a cheap Jew. There's a difference, learn it.

Monday, November 2, 2009

What not to be for halloween...Donkey Punch

So, it’s Monday. And I am at work. Monday is a total bitch! And that lotto needs to hurry up and pick my numbers…although I might have a better chance of winning if I ACTUALLY bought a ticket. But whatevs.

I had a great weekend. I went to the UO vs USC football game and since I am a Duck fan, I thoroughly enjoyed the game and the crushing defeat handed to the Trojans  Mike’s brother Pete on the other hand was probably much less amused by the outcome of the game as he is a USC alum and fan.

My future sister in law, Kelsey, also got to attend the game and it was her very first Duck game ever. I am so glad it was such a great game for her to see. My favorite quote of hers was after she had the woman behind us take her picture with the field in the background “Thank you for making my fiancé SO jealous right now!” And it’s true! My brother was completely jealous that he had to work and was unable to attend the game or any game because he is always working on Saturdays. He won’t say he cried when he found out Kelsey was going to the game, but his chin did quiver.

Sam is a crazy scary Duck fan. He is the person who yells at the TV and stands during the whole game…at home, watching on TV. For reals, it is actually pretty entertaining.

Since the game was on Halloween there were even stranger costumes and get ups than are normally present for games. And the one that made the biggest impression…Donkey Punch girl.

DPG boarded the bus at the bar with the rest of us and had to stand in the aisle because there were no seats available. The mere fact that she was able to stand and NOT spill her drink on anyone was impressive. She was so faded that I was surprised when we spotted her at half time and she was still upright and walking around.

Ah college, when we are all in our drinking prime and able to drink all day and still be semi functional. I am not even close to my drinking prime anymore. And that is A-OK!

Anywasted, DPG had donkey ears on her head, her Oregon t-shirt rolled up under her boobs and wife beater underneath with DONKEY PUNCH written in sharpie across her stomach. On her left hand was a blue boxing glove and attach to that with packing tape was a cup holder (smart thinking). In her cup holder was some mixed drink with a straw…which she repeatedly struggled to find when she tried to take a drink. To top off her ensemble were the fake donkey teeth. Every once in awhile during the ride from the bar to the stadium she would pull out the teeth and fling spit/alcoholic beverage onto the people sitting in the seats nearby. Way to keep is classy. Also keeping it classy…when she proceeded to explain to a crowded bus what exactly a Donkey Punch is. Picture of DPG provided for your enjoyment.

You're welcome!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Thursday Thoughts

*Grey's Anatomy always makes me cry. ALWAYS.

*I love watching my dog's pure enjoyment when we go on our daily walks.

*Sometimes even when you aren't alone you can still be lonely.

*I want to snuggle/cuddle right now and Jackie is snuggled up to my side :)

*Rejection hurts

*I love that when I make spaghetti it lasts me a few days. I really like spaghetti

*It makes my eye twitch when people spell ridiculous as rEdiculous.

*I am super excited about going to New York for a week in November. I am going to try and go see Wicked and that has me WICKED excited!!!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wednesday What-nots with Jen

*Last night while watching the Biggest Loser (side note: cannot STAND Tracy) Jen decided to see how hard jumping up onto the step would really be. Only she didn’t have step, so she chose the ottoman. It’s a squishy ottoman. I reminded her that the key is to make sure she bends her legs to get the clearance and swing her arms so she has enough momentum…because you know, I am a professional trainer and stuff. Anyway, Jen gets into her crouch position, swings her arms, and leaps. She made it, landed with both feet on the ottoman and promptly fell backwards off the ottoman, still in her crouch position, onto the floor. Because the ottoman was squishy on top it didn’t allow her the chance to catch her balance.


I almost peed my pants laughing so hard and at one point I stopped breathing and my face turned bright red. I am surprised none of her neighbors came to check on us because as she was falling backwards we both let out loud horrified screams and then burst into cackling laughter once we realized she hadn’t hurt herself. I am sure her husband Brad thought we were insane. And he would be right.

*Earlier in the day when Jen came home for lunch, she couldn’t find her dog (he was our dog when we lived together, but she got him and the Charmed DVD series in the divorce, but I still totally have visitation rights). He was supposed to be out back or in the garage, but was nowhere to be found. She called me and told me the situation and I put on some shoes and a sweatshirt and told her I would be right there. I live down the block from her. I opened the door and turned the corner to head toward her street and there was Jack sniffing around the neighbor’s yard looking like a drowned rat because it had been raining all morning. I returned Jack to a very relieved Jen. Apparently the side gate blew open at some point in the morning and Jack decided to go exploring in the neighborhood and to see if his Momma Erica was home. Thankfully no one stole him. He is a pretty cool dog.

*Jen’s niece T is coming to visit this weekend, well she is flying in today actually. T is 12 and we are going to spoil her rotten! It is going to be awesome.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I say nom nom nom to cheeseburgers

I was guilted into getting a salad a Carl’s Jr. Lame!

Okay, so I have been trying to lose some weight and eat a little healthier.

I went over to Mike’s this evening. We hung out and watched some aka A LOT of college football (I think LSU is waaaaay overrated). Then decided to go to Home Depot and get hardware for my gates…that have yet to be made or installed, 3 weeks later. But I am not bitter, much.

As we were leaving Homies Mike asked me if I had eaten dinner yet and when I said no he suggested going through the drive thru at Carl’s Jr. Sounded good to me and I knew he really didn’t have any food over at his place (well, there was food, but it all had to be made and would take more time than I wanted to spend on making something to eat).

We get to the speaker and I tell Mike I want the #1 aka The Famous Star Burger meal. He looks at me and says, “They have chicken sandwiches, look. Or salad. The charbroiled chicken salad looks good. Do you want to try that?”

I think about the cheeseburger and I know, I KNOW, the salad is the better option. So I agree.

Mike tells the woman that is all and starts to drive toward the window and says…

“I had their Bacon Cheeseburger earlier today.”

Me, while giving a death glare, “asshole!

The salad was good, but not as yummy as the burger and fries would have been.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Kevin Bacon and his 6 degrees of separation can suck it.

The scary thing about evil is that you never see it coming. Evil people don’t wear signs or have horns. They look just like you and me. They blend and they pass. And we never know they are coming until it is too late. You can’t see true evil and that scares the shit out of me.

I deal with drama and see people who have crazy chaotic lives. I have seen a mother so addicted to meth that she didn’t care about the child growing inside her, she just needed her next fix. I have seen women bruised and beaten and terrified and lost, trying to find the way out. I have seen and known people who were killed by those who claimed to love them. I have heard horrific stories parents tell me about the trauma their children have suffered at the hands of adults. I have seen a woman so scared of her child’s father finding out where they live and killing them she refused to obtain original birth certificates for her and her child so they could qualify for health insurance. I have seen adolescents living on the streets because their parents have kicked them out for being gay. I have seen and heard all kinds of atrocities. But they have all been experienced with some detachment.

They were all experiences I had while I was working. It was my job to help and offer solutions and provide resources. And while these stories were all tragic in their own way, I learned early on to detach. I couldn’t help them if I was a blubbering mess. And I couldn’t afford to lose a piece of my soul to each one of their stories. There would be nothing left of me if I let each one of these stories touch me personally. It may seem harsh, but self preservation is also important. I know there is evil in the world, I am reminded daily of its existence, I still try and keep it at bay.

But when you realize you or someone you love has brushed up alongside evil, it turns your insides cold. Your heart pounds and your breath stops and you are terrified. You are rocked to your very core.

Six degrees of separation is not even remotely far enough.

Darrin Daily is evil.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Wednesday What-nots

• Do you ever forget your phone, but you still feel or hear phantom rings and are convinced someone is calling you? I wonder if that is what if feels like when you lose an arm or a leg and you have a phantom limb…only a phantom phone is not as tragic as a phantom limb. And yes I am most likely going to hell.

• I want a blackberry so bad I can taste it. I also know it is not really practical at this exact moment to get one. But it is painful everyday I am without one :(

•I was called childish by a man who logged into his wife’s facebook page and updated her status to say I was childish. Um, what? Idiot.

• I should be in charge running the world.

• I should also be independently wealthy so I don’t have to work

• Is anyone else obsessed with facebook game applications? I love Mafia Wars.

• Every show created by Joss Whedon, I love. I also completed watching the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and am now working on Angel.

• I made applesauce from scratch and it was SUPER easy. Who knew?

• I am going to get back into blogging if it kills me

Monday, September 21, 2009

Are you there Blogosphere? It's me, E.

I have been in a blog writing funk. It started when I was in the process of moving because, well, I didn’t have internet for about two weeks. Of course I had internet at work, but we are only supposed to be on it for minimal amounts of time and I already push that limit, without trying to add blogging.

And then I was also busy, yanno, moving and unpacking and getting settled and setting up times to get my cable and internet and get all my utilities in my name and buying a new car, etc etc. And now that I have my internet back, I just haven’t felt like blogging.

That’s not entirely true. I have blog ideas swirling through my head and of course they are all awesome, but I just can’t seem to make myself sit down and write them out. I also want to get a picture of my house all completed, but my camera thingy that gets the pictures off the camera and onto my computer has been misplaced in the shuffle of moving.

Another thing that happened while I was moving…I seem to have a developed a Buffy the Vampire Slayer addiction. I have managed to watch 5 seasons and am now well into the 6th (there are only a total of 7 seasons for all you none Buffy watchers) and it has only been about 3 ½ weeks! I just want to know what happens and every spare minute or hour is spent squeezing in an episode of Buffy. When my BF calls to see what I am up to, I am sure he is not at all surprised when I reply with “watching Buffy” or when Jen comes over (because she only lives down the block from me now) I know she isn’t the least surprised that Buffy is on the TV.

I am obsessed. Fortunately I know that I am almost done with the series and my regular fall programming is coming back so I will be able to move on. I was just never a Buffy watcher before. Why? I have no clue since I LOVE Angel and watched it all the time and was heartbroken when they ended the series. In fact I love all the shows created by Joss Whedon. So, why the hell am I just now discovering the awesomeness that is Buffy?!

I have missed all my blog buddies, but the thing I have come to love about the blogosphere is that everyone is still waiting for you when you come back. It’s okay to take a break and deal with real life for a minute and no one will judge you here.

So, thanks for sticking with me. I know I have been silent for awhile. I still do read all your blogs and have been keeping up with all of your lives. As my life settles back down and I fall back into my routine, I know that I will be back and blogging with the best of you!

P.S. Pictures of the house coming soon!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

It's Football Season!

College Football started today. I am less than impressed with my Ducks in their season opener against Boise State. While I am 99% sure the Vandals will not beat Boise State, I was hoping the Duckies would :( And as any true University of Idaho Vandal can tell you...Boise is NOT a State.

*Why is Boise State's turf blue aka smurf turf?
- To keep the cheerleaders from grazing

**Who do we hate?

***What do we eat?
- Bronco Meat!

Yeah in case you couldn't tell I am not a Boise State Bronco fan. I am a 100% VANDAL (even though they super suck, I am not a fare weather fan)

P.S. I am still without the internetz until next Wed. Currently I am at the BF's and using his internetz and his cable.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Moving is Effing expensive!

I am in the process of moving into my new house. It currently does not have internet (or cable or blinds or food...but internet is most important).

I promise I have pictures of the completed house that I will posted. I will post about the move itself. And I still need to tell you all about the awesome bachelorette party I threw for my BFF and her even more FABULOUS wedding.

I promise to be back soon!


Thursday, August 27, 2009

A room without books is like a body without a soul

I love books. No, really, I LOVE books. I. LOVE. BOOKS.

I love to go into bookstores and just think about all the stories waiting to envelope me. Sometimes I will wonder up and down the aisles, running my hands along their spines until one just speaks to me. Used bookstores have the smell of books well loved. There is no such thing as too many books.

There are books in every room in my house. Literally. Even the bathroom has a book or two.

So here I was tonight, wasting time surfing the internet and looking for new blogs to read, since I have read all my current subscriptions. Either I read too much, or you all don't post often enough ;) I am going to go with the former.

AnyWAY, I stumbled upon this little gem and I am going to share it with you all, even though I don't want any of you to win the book because I want it. Without further ado I give you Sara of Sara's Organized Chaos and she is GIVING AWAY A BOOK!

Don't these books make you smile! I rilly rilly rilly want one.

P.S. I totally snaked this photo from her blog. I hope she doesn't mind.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

30 years and counting

Today is my parents 30th wedding anniversary. I hope they had a special day and I wish them 30 more years together. They'd be almost 90 but it's totally doable. And at the point they will both probably be senile and just be happy there is someone else there to wipe their ass and remind them where they left their teeth.

I know they have not always had an easy road together. There have been tears and fights and triumphs and three amazing kids (if I do say so myself). I hope to be them one day. the math bitches, I'm the oldest child at 28, that makes me 100% legit! Booyah!

I hope we all are lucky enough to find what my parents have.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Sleep study = no sleep for E

The awesomeness that is a sleep study:

My sleep study was originally planned for Friday night. I figured even if I didn't get a good night's sleep then I could rest up on Saturday. No, not so much. They called Friday afternoon to let me know that the technician was sick and could I move my study to Sunday. Okay, fine, whatevs...

Sunday, I am supposed to be there at 8pm. I leave my house late and get slowed down even more by an accident. I am late and already stressed. Boo.

I walk into the waiting room and there are two old men waiting for their studies and I notice they both have pillows along with their bag of personal items. MONKEY'S BALLS! I forgot my pillow! Of course they have pillows there but they asked us to bring our own so we would be more comfortable. I am off to a great start.

*Also I am missing Big Brother, True Blood, and Hung while I am at this sleep study. They should totally give me a medal!

I am taken back to the room and the technician explains what all is going to be happening and I even get to watch a nifty video. Yawn. The technician tells me that she will be back around 9:30 to get me all hooked up and I will be ready to go to sleep.

I get into my PJs, read my book for a little bit and then the technician is back and she has a grip of wires and electrodes, etc etc.

I am hooked up to every monitor ever created by humankind. It took 30-45 minutes to get them all attached. There were nine placed all over my head, in my hair, with glue. There was one on either side of my eyes, snore monitor (awesomeness) stuck to my throat, two thingies on my forehead, and another on my chin. In addition I had an electrode attached to either calf, wires going up through my pants, up the back of my t-shirt and out the neck. To monitor how much effort I used to breathe, there was a strap around my chest and another around my gut (yes, my gut also sometimes called my waist or stomach). To top off the fabulousness, I had the tubing they use to give patients oxygen, across my upper lip, except it was to monitor my air output when I breathed out instead of blowing air in. All the wires and tubing were collected into a kind of ponytail at the neck of my t-shirt.

What? Where is the photo? HA HA HA, you are so funny. There is no photo evidence, well at least from me. I was frightened just looking in the mirror. No one needs to see that. EVER.

It is important to remember at this point that I am the world's lightest sleeper. And I am now expected to go to sleep with wires stuck all over my face on my legs, in an unfamiliar place, in a unfamiliar bed, and it is all being filmed.

That shiz better never end up on YouTube!

I am told I can go to sleep in whatever position I normally do, but that after I have been asleep for awhile they will tell me (through an intercom) to roll over onto my back. *E* does not equal back sleeper. Also, if I need to get up at all during the night I have to say, "I need to get up" and wait for the technician to come into the room and disconnect me from the wall.

Have I mentioned how awesome this is going to be? Not only am I so outside my comfort zone I need a passport, but now I am all paranoid about being filmed. I don't know what I do while I am sleeping!

11:00pm - lights out

11:30pm - finally fall asleep on my side

12:00am - woken up by the technician telling me over the intercom to turn over onto my back

1:15am - Technician tells me I can go back to sleeping on my side since I have been tossing and turning and trying to fall asleep for over an hour on my back and it's not working.

2:00am - Technician comes into the room, I wake up immediately. She tells me she is turning on the fan because the room is getting too warm and they don't want me sweating too much...the electrode thingies might come off if I do that.

3:30am - Technician comes back into the room to check my nose breathing thing because she isn't getting a reading from the left nostril. It had slipped off my ear and out of my nostril.

4:00am - I have to pee. I wait for the technician to come disconnect me, go pee and climb back into the bed, takes about 20 minutes to fall back asleep.

6:15am - Technician back in the room to wake me up for the day.

It takes her about 15 minutes to get all the things stuck all over my body disconnected and then she tackles the glue patches throughout my hair. She did manage to get most of it out, but there were two blue patches in the middle of my part.

I get home and so tired I can't even think about going to work at 8am. I crawl into my own bed, snuggled up with the kitties and pass the eff out until 11am. It is safe to say that Monday was not my most productive day at work.

I really hope they got all the information they needed because if they tell me I have to do another sleep study I may stab someone in the eye.

P.S. BF finding the blog is not bad, it just means I will have to be more aware of what I say about him and our relationship :)

Monday, August 24, 2009

sleep study schmeep study

I had a sleep study last night. But I am so tired right now because I didn't sleep well at all. So I will tell you all about it tomorrow.

For realz!

P.S. my BF just found my blog...

Friday, August 21, 2009


*Today is the final walk through on my house

*I have my full sleep study tonight (makes me nervous)

*I close on my house on Monday

*My washer and dryer and fridge are being delivered on Tuesday

*I will start moving next week and the following weekend

*The week after next I will no longer be living with my boyfriend

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Riding the cotton pony

Dear Period,

You suck! I hate you! You are lucky that I plan to have children one day or you would be in BIG trouble. Huge, ginormous, you don't even know. You don't EVEN. KNOW!

If you insist on making a monthly visit, do you have to be suck a bitch about it? I mean really.

Of course there have been times (like once or twice) where I am anxiously awaiting your arrival and becoming scared shitless more and more stressed as I wait. And then you appear, and that month you are my best friend. And I love you and welcome you with open arms.

But usually you are evil. Let me list the ways in which you make my life hell:

*Chocolate craving ('cause when I am already feeling bloated and emotional, I should really eat more candy)
*Period poops (I mean REALLY?! is that necessary? Seriously?)
*Channeling my inner Diana Ross Diva
*Crying at the drop of the hat - dog food commercial, yep made me cry
*Nipples that hurt

It has been 17 years, can't we work something out?


Friday, August 14, 2009

Going to the Chapel

My best friend Jen is getting married tomorrow. Right now we are chilling in the Hilton (the hotel, not Paris) on the 11th floor enjoying the view of Eugene. I am so excited! Here are some shots of us at the bachelorette party, that I still haven't posted about.

We went rollerskating, we weren't aware we were supposed to be naked!

She was really excited about rollerskating and all the other fun to come this night!

We made sure she wore proper attire for the festivities

This what she looks like after a blow job (the shot people, the shot). There were 5 bachelorettes there and Jen smoked them all with her mad skills!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Seriously I don't want to be spiderman or woman.

Dood, seriously I almost got eaten by a spider last night. For realz!

There I was, laying in bed when I had to pee. I set my book down, climbed out of bed, and headed to the bathroom.

Now in the bathroom I sit down and pee. Now it's time for toilet paper. I could do this in my sleep, hell I basically have done this in my sleep, in the middle of the night, in the dark. My hand stretches out toward the toilet paper and at the last second I turn my head to see what I am doing. AND THERE IS A FUCKING SPIDER ON THE ROLL OF TOILET PAPER!

*Uh, have I mentioned my GINORMOUS phobia of spiders? Yeah, I got one of those. And somehow someone sometime convinced me to watch Arachnophobia...doesn't help when you are already terrified of the 8 legged freaks. Not cool.

I yank my hand back so fast I hit myself in the nipple (that hurt). A terrified squeal leaves my lips and I sit there frozen, panties around my ankles. What do I do? What do I do? I then spy a roll of paper towels on the bathroom counter. It was a little rougher than I would like ideally, but it did the trick and I was able to get off the toilet without having to drip dry and run for my life.

Now that I am no longer stuck on the toilet and I have put my big girl panties back on I am feeling braver. And that spider isn't going to win and be left to run willy nilly around the house, waiting to attack my unsuspecting ass. GAME ON!

I wad up the biggest wad of paper towels ever and turn toward the toilet paper to wage my battle. I cautiously approach, but my bravado falters and I hesitate with the wad of paper towel hovering above the spider, who hasn't moved the entire time.

As I am hovering, working up the courage to actually squish the spider, the little fucker lifts his butt and jumps at me. JUMPS AT ME! JUMPS!

Fortunately I have lightening quick reflexes and was able to leap (in a single bound) onto the bathtub and to safety, while screaming hysterically.

After what felt like an hour hovered on the tub edge I decide to look for the spider that is now on the floor somewhere. But first I ran into the bedroom and acquired the proper spider killers aka shoes. Armed with flip flops I venture back into the bathroom. It took a little bit but finally I found him. Just sitting there in camo on the tile floor. I know he was just waiting for me to come back and sit on the toilet and he would jump me for real this time. Oh no, I wasn't having none of that!

With a dramatic flourish I squished his spider ass with my shoe.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

So, I have a fat pack. It's like the rat pack only not.

Yeah, and I'm not talking about my tummy!

I am the world's lightest sleeper. It takes me forever to fall asleep, the slightest noise will wake me up. I regularly sleep with ear plugs. I hardly ever feel rested in the morning. I drink coffee in the morning to get the caffeine boost to try and make it through the day. I am ALWAYS tired, but I never nap because it only makes it harder for me to fall asleep at night.

Finally, I decided to go have a consultation with the Sleep Disorder Center.

The Dr asks me questions about my sleeping habits, bed time, caffeine and other stimulant use. Then he looks in my throat.

He whips out his little light thingie, I stick my tongue out and say "ahhhhh". Then he asks me if I still have my tonsils. I was a little surprised because my tonsils are not small, I have had other Dr's exclaim, "Wow, those are huge!" Awesome, just what every girl wants to hear, not only do I have be self conscious about the size of my ass, but now I have to worry about my HUGE tonsils!

"Yes. In fact they are rather large from what I have been told. They almost took them out when I was younger because I would always get strep throat." I replied.

"Hmm. Okay let me look again." This time he pulls out the tongue depressor and I open up again and say "Ahhhh"

"Oh yeah, there they are."

We talk some more about possible reasons for my sleep issues, including my asthma, seasonal allergies, blah blah blah.

Then he says he thinks I might have a minor case of sleep apnea, but not to the point where I stop breathing or my oxygen levels actually drop. He says because of my height and weight aka because I am a fatty (but I was happy he didn't call me fat or obese. Kudo points to him) they know I have a fat pack at the back of my throat and that is why he didn't see my tonsils the first time. My fat pack hid them.

Isn't that what every girl wants hear? They have a fat pack in their throat. I didn't realize I needed to be worried about my throat gaining weight!

So anyWAY. I have a fat pack and this narrows my airway from front to back, but I also have GINORMOUS tonsils (he told me I would have been better off if they had removed my tonsils as a child) that narrow my airway from side to side. When I am sleeping I am breathing through a very narrow opening and to top it off I am also very asthmatic.

The Dr. thinks that the reason I am such a light sleeper is because I will take one deep breath and then a bunch of shallow ones and my body is never able to fall into deep sleep. I am always just in the light part of sleep and thus easily awoken and never feel refreshed.

Thanks to my huge tonsils and fat pack - I have a full sleep study scheduled for the 21st. I have to check in at 8pm, they will hook me up to every conceivable probe/electrode, put me in a dark quiet room and tell me to go to sleep. On my back. I am not a back sleeper, ever. It will be interesting to see if I sleep much at all during the study.

**I tried to find a picture of a fat pack, but was unsuccessful. I will try and get one at the Sleep Center.

Monday, August 3, 2009

More house pics

And some more for your viewing pleasure:

My pretty cabinets. I picked them out and everything.

My bathroom with no toilet...yet

The tiled entryway

Marking my territory

My mom is holding up the shutter so I could see what it would look like. And my dad is supervising. What? Yeah, he is wearing a straw hat. that's how he rolls, yo!

The House Yo!

Here are some updated photos on the progress of my house. In case you haven't been paying attention, I am all set to close on August 24th. It is exciting and terrifying all at once. Enjoy and feel free to comment on how awesome my house is, it makes me smile ;)

Blogger is being dumb and won't let me post all the pictures in this post so now there are two posts.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

To tip or not to tip

This post all started with a blizzard...

I believe in tipping. Tip Karma is so important! I believe in tipping for good service. I tip and I tip well and if I feel I have received exceptional service I tip exceptionally well.

People I tip:

*Servers - many servers in many states don't even earn the federal minimum wage and are expected to make up the rest in tips.

*Hair stylist - okay, my hairstylist is marrying my brother soon, but I would tip her anyway. This is the person in charge of making my hair fabulous and she has scissors near my head. Of course I want to show my appreciation for her skill.

*Esthetician (aka waxer)- Anyone coming at me with hot wax, aimed at sensitive areas, whether it's my eyebrows or my girly areas deserves a tip. I don't want to make them angry. EVER!

*Barista - 1. Anyone who is able to talk to me first thing in the morning before I have had any coffee, with a smile on their face deserves a tip. Me + Morning + No Coffee = CRAZY OGRE. 2. They get up WAAAAAY earlier than me, that in itself deserves a tip!

*Food delivery person - Pssh, they are bringing my food TO MY DOOR!

*Bartenders - Hello, they are making my drink, nuf said!

People I don't tip

*Gas attendants (I live in a state where gas is pumped for us) - They are doing their job. They are not going out of their way to be helpful. I am legally not allowed to pump my own gas. They have not gone above and beyond what is expected.

*Fast food worker - They have not come to my table to take my order, they have not delivered my meal to my table, they do not come and check to see how I am doing. I walk up to the counter, place my order and take my tray to my table and then bus my own table. Where in there have they earned a tip?

The other night Mike and I headed to Dairy Queen for blizzards. And we used the drive thru. When we arrived at the window there was a jar on the ledge and it said, "Tips are always appreciated". Wha...? Huh? Seriously? Are they for reals right now? Why do they think what they have done warrants a tip? I didn't even get OUT of my car and all they did was hand me a bag with my order out a WINDOW. The only tip I ever got when I worked the Wendy's Drive Thru was "stay in school or this could be your job indefinitely." Excellent advice by the way.

Like I said, I am all for tipping and tipping well when it is earned and deserved, but there has to be a line. Or eventually we will be tipping for every little thing.

Who do you tip?
Who do you not tip?
And why?

Friday, July 31, 2009

I love fridays!

Okay, so last night's post was a little Debbie Downer, but having let all of that out, I feel somewhat lighter.

And besides...IT'S FRIDAY!

And I totally think I need to win this little giveway from ♥Aubrey. I mean really I could use a little pampering!

I will have to post pictures of my house since that last ones where just of the foundation. I have walls and a roof and cement porches and patios and driveways (okay, only one driveway). They painted the inside yesterday and my cabinets are up. BUT most exciting of all, my closing date is set for August 24! That is just around the corner.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

I have found myself close to tears almost everyday for the last week. The smallest thing can make me just want to burst into tears. I have even cried myself to sleep several nights in a row.

Everything is changing and I don't do change well. I am closing on my house August 24th and that means I will be moving out of my boyfriend's house. I will be living on my own for the first time ever. I will be a home owner and that is just terrifying.

My boyfriend and I have reached a crossroads in our relationship. At this point he should be able to tell me if he sees us getting married one day or if he wants children one day. And he can't. That hurts. But I know I don't have to convince anyone to marry me. One day I will find someone who thinks the sun shines out of my ass. I know that once I move out we most likely won't be together much longer.

But I still want him to act like he is going to miss me for more than the rent money I paid him. I want to feel like I was important to him and that he enjoyed our time living together. I want to know I mattered to him and I can't just be replaced easy breezy. While I know he will miss me and I know he loves me as much as he is able, he doesn't really say much about me leaving. Does it mean he doesn't care? Does it mean he wants pretend it's not really happening because he doesn't want to deal with his feelings? I don't know.

I am also trying to get a new job. I am stagnating in my current position. I dread going in to work most days because I get so bored. I really want this new position. But I am so shy around new people and interviewing is not my strong suit. I get so flustered. I can do this job and I can do it very very well. The key is getting the position. I want it so badly!

On top of that our union has renegotiated our contract. We are not getting any cost of living adjustment, our step increases have been frozen for the coming year, and to top it all off we are going to have to take furloughs (mandatory unpaid days off). Because of my income level I will be required to take 12 furloughs. I am only $14 away from having to take 14. Learning I am going to be taking about a 5% pay cut right as I am getting ready to take on the responsibility of a home owner makes me break out into a panicked sweat.

Everything is changing and changing fast for me. I am trying to take it all in stride, but part of that stride apparently is me crying my way through.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Relay for Life 2009

For several years I have wanted to participate in Relay for Life and this year I decided to actually DO something. I created a team and jumped through all the hoops. My team of 9 fundraised almost $1000 in a 3 month span. The local event was this weekend. It went from noon on Friday to noon on Saturday.

I am so proud of my team, we kicked ass! Each team is required to have a team member walking the track at all times and it was HOT this weekend. Three of us set up our tent site starting at 10:30 Friday morning and it was already quite warm. It wasn't long until I was drenched in sweat (totally sexy, I know).

I had a total of 3.5 hrs of sleep. I walked 12 miles in the 24 hr period and I definitely feel it! I managed to not get a sunburn except for the tops of my hands and the tip of my nose, sunscreen is my best friend. That (not getting a sunburn) is a miracle in and of itself. That's what I do when exposed to sun, burn, but not this weekend.

My right hip has reminded me of the soccer injury from years ago when I tore my hip muscle, my knees have reminded me of all the knee injuries I suffered over the 12 years of serious soccer playing. My body hurts. But of all the aches and pains, the thing that hurts the most are my blisters. My poor feet! Last night they were so swollen I almost couldn't put my flip flops on.

I need a pedicure, fo sho!

My left foot, this was a blister on top of a blister

My right foot, this blister hurt a LOT!

This is a continuation of the right foot blister, it went up between my toes :(

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Pull the thread and the sweater unravels.

Hello my lovelies,

I know I haven't been very active lately, but my world 'in real life' has been super busy.

*My best friend is getting married in less than 4 weeks, last weekend was her bachelorette party (post on that to come...I swear!). And there are lots of little things I am trying to help her with in the coming weeks.

*I am in the process of having a house built and it is going to be completed early. So, I have been trying to get everything in order for that. Including buying a refrigerator and front loading washer/dryers (I know, my hippie is showing)

*This weekend is Relay For Life and I am the team captain and have been working feverishly to get everything in order for that.

*I work 40 hours a week

*I am applying for a developmental position that will hopefully turn into a permanent position and my application and cover letter and supplemental questions are all due on Thursday.

*Things in my personal life are difficult and have only been adding to my stress level. I am sure there will be a post on this as well, but I don't know when. I don't know when I want to share all of that.

I feel like I am juggling so many balls and I just know one is going to drop and it will all come tumbling down. I just need a second to breathe, yet I can't seem to find one.

Thanks for bearing with me!


Saturday, July 18, 2009

May cause drunk texting

My best friend Jen is getting married 4 weeks from today. So tonight we are celebrating the end of her singledom (okay, she has been part of a happy couple for over 2 and half years, but you know what I mean). As her maid of honor I was responsible for throwing her the most KICK ASS bachelorette party evah! And I think I have succeeded...if I am coherent enough tomorrow I will try to post a recap.

To celebrate Jen, today I have rented out the local skating rink. There will be about 12 of us and we get the rink all to ourselves for two hours. I am sure we will rock out to the raddest 80's songs, some cheesy early 90's. And of course you can't roller skate without doing the Hokey Pokey! While at the rink we will enjoy ice cream cake and cotton candy, okay, the cotton candy is iffy.

After we finish with skating we are heading off to dinner. Mexican food is yummy! There we will down margaritas, see just how red Jen can turn as she opens all the inappropriate porn shop gifts, and get evil glares from other diners because we are giggling so obnoxiously. It will be great.

When dinner is finished and we have all fully embraced the fun and festive ambiance, we will all head over to our friends, Amber & Beth's house where we will freshen up for a night on the town.

One of my co-workers also moonlights as a limo driver so he hooked me up with a sweet deal and is going to drive us around town to all the bars in this bad boy:

Martine assured me that he would have the limo FULLY LOADED, champagne toasts here we come. We are going to paint this town as red as Jen's face.

I am so excited! I hope you all have just as fabulous a day as I am anticipating.

P.S. The photo of the limo was taken in the city where I live. I live in such a beautiful State. It is just a short 10 minute drive for me to get to that exact location. Isn't that view gorgeous?!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

He's a dog and hates reading

So I guess my dog Jackie is mad at me because he was left home all day. I was out with my best friend Jen today running errands for her wedding. And then we practiced making bouquets and put together her center pieces. It was an all day adventure. I headed out about 11am and came home to feed the dogs and let them out around 6:30pm, then headed back to Jen's about 7:15pm. This isn't a completely unusual time period for the dogs to be home unsupervised. Well, apparently today Jackie took exception. This is what I came home to tonight at about 11pm.

They don't even look the slightest bit apologetic. Bastards!

Jackie did not care for reproductive advice...maybe because he's neutered. This book used to be 'Pathways to Pregnancy and Parturition'. (I have an Animal Science Degree, I was gonna go to vet school and animal husbandry was a required course and I have always found genetics and reproduction fascinating.)

Jackie also destroyed Animal Breeding and two other books about horses.

I was so mad I was in tears. I called both Jen and Mike in tears just to tell someone else how upset I was. And the worst part...even though I wanted to yell at Jackie, I knew he wouldn't understand why he was being yelled at. And it's not like you can explain to the dog why what they did was wrong. But I scolded anyway.

I think Jackie is also mad because Mike has been gone since Wednesday. So all his people were gone today. Now Jackie is going back to his crate I also know it was Jackie because I have seen him pull down a book before (not since last Sept, thought he had grown out of this bad habit) and before we got Jackie, my books were never in danger. Shadow had no interest in them. He just wants any food that may have been left out.

*Sigh* Ok, I am off to blow my nose, wash my face, and pet my dog and let him know he is still loved.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

So it's been a long couple of days...

But tonight:

DVRed Tour de France - Check

Now onto So You Think You Can Dance - Check

Alcoholic libation - Check

Pasta Alfredo - Check

Yeah, tonight is gonna be a good night!


Monday, July 6, 2009

I like to watch

The Tour de France you pervs, the Tour de France!

Mind. Gutter. Out.

My love affair with the Tour began five summers ago. I had just moved back to Oregon after being in Idaho for school. My best friend and I had moved together and when we moved back we were both unemployed and living with my parents. There was nothing to watch during the day except Soap Operas and I just couldn't get into those and you could only fill out so many job applications. Then one day I turned on the TV and there was the Tour. I was hooked.

It was the Tour de France where Lance Armstrong was going for his 6th win and the following year he went for his record breaking 7th win. I was riveted. That summer during the month of July my parents were also having all the carpets in the house replaced. Watching the Tour gave me something to do while the carpet guys where there and it meant I didn't have to make small talk (something I can SUCK at) and it also was something that wasn't cheesy or embarrassing to admit I was watching. They would ask, "what are you watching?" and I would be all, "oh, you know, the Tour de France."

For some reason I was fascinated. All the jockeying and strategy. The Tour is not won by an individual, it is won by a team. Without the sacrifices of his teammates, Lance Armstrong would never have won a single Tour.

I have a whole new vocabulary...

GC: General Classification

Peloton: French for group, in cycling it means the main bunch of riders. When the main bunch splits up, there can be several pelotons.

Feed Zone: Designated riders from each team collect musettes for their teammates and pass them out.

Musette: A cloth shoulder bag handed to riders at feed zones filled with drinks and food. Fans go crazy trying to get one when riders discard them when they are finished eating.

Breakaway: When a solitary rider or group of riders pulls off the front of the main bunch. Strategy and luck have a lot to do with whether the break will arrive successfully at the finish line. If there’s a rider who’s considered dangerous in the overall classification, the other teams will collaborate to bring the breakaway back. But sometimes if a rider is so far down in the overall standings or if the main bunch is too tired to work, a strong breakaway can survive to fight for the victory.

Drafting: It’s easier to ride behind someone else than to ride at the front breaking through the air mass, so riders will take turns cutting the wind and then save energy riding on the wheel of the bike directly in front of them.

The Tour is 23 days long and the competitors ride everyday but 2. There are flat stages, mountain stages, and time trials. And...


There are two US sponsored teams, Team Columbia and Team Garmin, but they are made up of riders from around the world. Lance Armstrong used to ride with Team Columbia, which was known as Team Discovery Channel and prior to that Team US Postal Service. This year, Lance (we are on a first name basis) is riding for Team Astana this year and it is a team based out of Kazakhstan. I love watching Lance ride, he is such an amazing rider and so aware of everything that is going on around him.

But my absolute favorite rider is Big George Hincapie.
George Hincapie - (c) Ken Conley
Photo by Ken Conley

He is currently participating in his 14th Tour. He is only 2 away from tying the record. While he has never won a Tour, he was Lance's right hand man in every Tour he won. This year they are on different teams and I wonder what that is like. George Hincapie is simply a great rider and a true team player.

Am I aware that this makes me a nerd. Yes, the nerdiest. And I am okay with that. Now, I must go, the finish for today's stage is just about upon us...

Happy cycling!

Saturday, July 4, 2009


I hope everyone has a fabulous 4th of July! I am excited for beer, BBQ, and fireworks! Today I am guest posting over at Fidgeting Gidget go check it out. 'Cause she's awesome.

Have a happy and safe holiday.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Flashback Friday - Family Vacation the end!

Yea for Flashback Friday! Here is the final installment of the family vacation saga. I have also included photos for your viewing pleasure. And as always, stop by ScaryMommy's blog since Flashback Friday is all her idea.


Originally posted on myspace on 12/8/07

Family vacations are always fun

I am home. We all made it alive and in one piece. There were tears and there was laughter and overall some great memories were made and some not so great photos were taken ;)

Disembarking the boat was similar to a giant cattle call. We waited in our cabins for our section to be called, then we were ushered off the ship and into the customs line. Somehow my family managed to get into the line with the slowest customs agent ever! Both lines on either side of us were flowing and ours was at a standstill. Seriously all he has to do is say...anything to declare? any fruits or vegetables?, no, okay. And then we would all be off and running. We were only technically out of the country for one day, what do you think I did in one day. I had to get back on the ship anyway after being out of the country and they were super strict on what we could and could not bring back on board. (I am still a little confused as to why I was not allowed to bring a small pocket knife on board but at dinner they would give me a serrated steak knife, um, ok.)

After customs, make our way to the airport in LA with a brief stop at my Aunt Kerry's to say hi. We return our rented minivan, oh yeah, don't be hatin', we was big pimpin' style in the minivan. A minor dispute occurs between Sam and myself, while trying to fill up the gas tank before dropping off the van We get back to the rental agency and grab the shuttle to the airport. On a side note, my dad turned into a freaky California drive and I was in fear for my life once or twice while driving in the chaotic LA traffic.

Our first flight from LA to Vegas is a on time and we are looking good to get home on schedule. We land in Vegas as expected and then we begin out short layover before heading out on the last leg of our journey. On the flight from LA to Vegas, Alex made a friend with the guy sitting next to him on the plane. He was visiting Vegas for several days to catch a boxing match, he had come all the way from the United Kingdom...that is some serious dedication to your sport.

Our flight from Vegas to Eugene was slightly delayed by about 45 minutes but other than that our return trip was much less eventful than the trip down, (thank you sweet baby Jesus).

Finally around 2:30am we reach my parents' house. My mom turns to me and says, "So, are you staying here tonight?" Are you freaking kidding me?! I have just been with all of you for the last 8 days. I am so close to my own bed and my own home that I can taste it. I do not want to wake up tomorrow and have to look any of you offense.

As much as I complained about this "family vacation", I had a great time, it was fun to be able to spend this time with my family. But ultimately, I am most grateful to be home. You cannot truly appreciate your home until you are unable to be in your comfort zone. Jack was so excited to see me and I was thrilled to see him (and yes, he does lokk super fabulous in his poncho!) My cats seemed happy to see me and both slept with me throughout the night. And above all I am really happy to be sleeping in a bed that does not rock back and forth!

This was the cabin my brothers and I shared for a week. And we are all still alive. You should be very impressed!


What have I gotten myself into?

Isn't my brother Alex just precious :)

Hey boys, over here!

Aren't they funny...

DISNEYLAND - Happiest place on earth?

The Parentals

Alex, Me, Sam waiting in line

That's my family. All in line at Disneyland, smile people!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

A Dude

Dear A Dude,

I find your anonymity interesting because you felt the need to comment on my blog, knowing that what you posted could be controversial and could possibly hit a nerve. And instead of owning your comment you chose to use the name “A Dude” and didn’t link back to anything. Maybe you simply don’t have a blog to link back to, in which case why would you chose to not even leave a name. If there is no link, how am I supposed to know this John from that one.

While E and Perkster are not my real names, they are both nicknames that I go by. I also don’t think that it is any secret that my real name is Erica. But while E and Perkster are not my real name, I also own my blog and what is in it. I owned the words I chose to write and I am willing to defend what I wrote because it is something that I feel strongly about. I don’t leave anonymous comments on others blogs. I own my comments, the good and the bad.

I wrote my blog because I wanted to vent my feelings on being labeled as something I am not. And as I stated numerous times, I do not believe this woman meant any insult, but I was still insulted. And I am allowed to feel the way I do, especially as a member of a group that is marginalized in society. I also do bring it to people’s attention when I feel the time and place are appropriate. Did I feel it was appropriate to call this woman out on referring to me as a girl in passing in the work place? No. So I picked my blog as my outlet.

Gender equality is something I am very passionate about. And gender inequality should not be passed on from one member of the group to another. While the incident with my co-worker was not intended to be insulting or demeaning, I used it in my blog because it was an example of how pervasive this type of language is and how blindly we throw out labels without thinking what that label really implies. Was there a deeper meaning in what this woman called me? No. But eventually I am called a girl one too many times or I am referred to as guy all day long and I just can’t remain silent for another moment. Language seeps into our subconscious and we attach meaning and definitions to words we hear and when we hear terms like girl when referring to a grown adult female, subconsciously we are labeling her as less than in regards to her male counterpart who is referred to as a man.

Do you truly not see the difference in the implications of being called a Tomboy vs being called a Sissy? Do you not see how the term used for a boy showing ‘feminine’ qualities is offensive, while the term for a girl showing ‘masculine’ qualities is not inherently offensive? What is wrong with boys and men showing softness, gentleness, compassion and vulnerability? And how does this make them less of a man? I believe that men and women are made up of both masculine and feminine parts and society is what has determined which is more acceptable for those with penises and those with vaginas. Doesn’t tapping into these different aspects make us more well rounded people? Why then is the feminine aspect spurned and degraded when expressed by those who are male?

In response to your question:
“If the majority of people don’t consider the language oppressive, but you do, does that say more about you or more about them?”
I will tell you what it says about me. It says that I am aware of the androcentric world we live in and I am aware of how language perpetuates gender inequality. I don’t go around with my head in the sand. Someone has to question things. If no one ever questioned the “way things are” then there would still be slavery, women would not be able to vote, women and children would still be considered property, the US would still be an English territory, Monarchs would still rule France, etc.

Part of me hopes that maybe you just like playing devil’s advocate and stirring the pot. If not, I hope you take a moment and think next time you go to refer to a woman as a girl or a group of people as guys or are looking for an insult for your male friends.

I never claimed my blog was unbiased or the influences in my life would be left out of all my ramblings. My experiences are what make me who I am today and of course they are going to come out in my posts. Am I always PC? No. This where I talk about my day and express how I feel about different incidents. You are welcome to read it, that is why my blog is not private and you are welcome to comment. If you truly disagree with what I say, then I would love to hear it. But if you chose to comment simply to rile me up, please feel free to go elsewhere.

E, The Perkster, Erica

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I have a soapbox and today it is called Feminism

First let me say, I am a feminist. This is not a dirty word. It doesn’t mean I hate men. It simply means that I believe there should be equality between the sexes. I think the patriarchal foundation of our society needs to be questioned and rocked. We should not all be sheep who simply go along with everything that is fed to us everyday by society through the media and bureaucracies and institutions that mold us into contributing members of society. I don’t think men should be pushed down so that woman can get ahead. Neither of us should be oppressed. Oppressing men so women can succeed, is still oppression and wrong. And when I say I think there needs to be equality between the sexes, I mean the good and the bad. If men have to register for the draft, then so should women, etc etc. Yes, I shave my armpits and legs (though I did struggle with this for a long time). I like to wear make-up and feel pretty. I like to feel feminine. But I don’t think my femaleness should somehow make me less than.

The other day at work I was called a girl.

This irritated me more than I probably should have let it, but whatever.

I am not a girl. While I may look like I am barely 16, I am a full fledged adult. I am a woman.

It sounds silly when I say that, but I AM a woman. I am not an old woman or even a middle aged woman. I am a young woman, although I can see 30 from where I sit. I can legally vote and drink. I am buying my first home. I pay all my bills. I am self sufficient. I am NOT a girl.

While the woman who referred to me as a girl meant no malice or insult, I still found it insulting. Yes, she is older than I am and may even have children who are close to me in age. But I am not her child and in the work place I am her co-worker and peer. In fact I am a higher classification than she is and I have more seniority. I am not trying to sound bitchy, it is just so frustrating.

There is no way to bring attention to this issue without it coming off as my being a whiny kid. Which is exactly what I am trying to NOT be perceived as.

Too often we throw out language and don’t think about the connotation of the word we chose or how the recipient will interpret it.

1 a: a female child from birth to adulthood b: DAUGHTER c: a young unmarried woman dsometimes offensive : a single or married woman of any age
2 a: SWEETHEART bsometimes offensive : a female servant or employee

I know you may be reading these definitions and be thinking well, you could be a girl. Except we no longer live in society where young women are expected to get married or marriage somehow makes a person more of an adult. Does being married a 28 make someone less of girl than myself who is not married at 28? No.

I also cringe when I am referred to as a guy or a group of women are referred to as guys. I am not a guy. Guy is a masculine term and I am not male. By referring to me as a guy or a group of woman as guys, it erases our gender, our femaleness. It singles us out as “others” we are not the norm, which is male. How would a group of men feel if someone walked up to them and said, “Hey gals!” And I hate when people are referred to as guys and girls.

The terms guys and girls are not equitable. Guys and gals, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, men and women, these are the correct pairings. By calling people guys and girls there is a subconscious inferiority of females inferred.

I don’t think people are deliberately offensive or trying to create inferiority. I try to believe people generally mean well. But language is so important and people just don’t pay attention. The issue is not whether someone intended an insult, but whether or not an insult was perceived. Ignorance is not an excuse. People need to be aware of the impact of their words.

Think of all the degrading names for men or people who show weakness:
Pansy Ass
Acting like a little girl
Throw like a girl
Scream like a girl

All of these have a negative connotation with being female in some capacity and that being feminine is not to be desired. What is wrong with being female? We make up more than 50% of the world’s population! Did you know that all fetuses start out as female and begin to develop as female in the first few weeks? (ok, that is a simplification and technically the sex is determined at conception with the melding of XX or XY chromosomes, but prior to the influence of testosterone the fetus goes along as female) That is why men have nipples, the body was preparing to be female and starting the process of creating mammaries. But the XY combination releases hormones early on to stimulate male development. (Of course there is a lot more to it and I don’t have all day to explain)

I am also a fluent Spanish speaker so I am aware that English is not the only sexist language. Most of the “romance” languages are extremely sexist. A whole gaggle of people could be hanging out together and there is only one male in the whole group and the rest are female, but when referring to the group the masculine form is used. I get that. But it doesn’t make it okay or right or any less oppressive.

If you made it all the way to the bottom of this and don’t want to send me hate mail…Yea for you! I am now stepping off of my soapbox and going back to work :)
The Perkster - Ramblings of a hungry fat girl. Design by Exotic Mommie. Illustraion By DaPino