Sunday, January 31, 2010

You are my sunshine

It really is amazing how the sunshine and clear blue skies and a day spent hanging out with your dog, can make everything seem right with the world again.

Today was a beautiful day today. I have my windows open for the first time this year. There is not a rain cloud to be found. 

It feels like spring!

This was just the day I needed.

Jackie and I decided to go play at the dog park.  Only Jackie doesn’t really “play” at the dog park.  He thinks it is his personal responsibility to pee on every bush, fence post, and blade of grass there.

All the other dogs are playing and having a great time, my dog can be found in the farthest corner watering the plants.

dog park1

jackie dog park1

But I know he had a great time and the fresh air and sunshine made my day great. It was the recharge I so needed. 

Saturday, January 30, 2010

If “wants” were horses, beggars would ride

I don’t want…

…to cry when I get off the phone with you.

…to have a salesperson call my your wife and secretly cry inside, while I laugh with you about silly salespeople.

…to hear how she said you were a flower kind of guy, because you never give me flowers, but apparently once upon a time you gave them to her.

…to have you tell me you don’t like animal print because it used to be her thing.

…to feel alone when we are in the same room, because of a videogame.

I want…

…to joke about silly things we will register for when we get married.

…to dream together about the children we may one day have.

…you to give me flowers, not because you’re a flower guy, but because you know I’m a flower gal.

…to be spontaneous and jump you on the couch when you least expect it and not fear being rebuffed.

…you to show up at my house unexpectedly just because you missed me and had to see me.

Monday, January 25, 2010

It’s not me, it’s you…no really it’s me

I had a “People of Wal Mart” experience this weekend. Except it’s not that I saw someone who qualified for a photo…I was the person of Wal Mart!  Or at least my own version of this phenomenon.

I wasn’t wearing gold leggings with knee high space boots and I didn’t have rolls hanging out of my shirt or over the top of my pants.

But still…

It was Saturday morning and my dog woke me up at the butt crack of dawn, also known as 8:00am.

He was full of energy and refused to go back to bed, even after I let him out to go potty and fed him.  Geez, what more did he want from me?!

So, I finally gave in and decided to take him for a nice long brisk walk.  We had a great walk, it was a beautiful sunny morning and as Jackie and I walked around the neighborhood the fog slowly lifted from surrounding hills and the crisp chill air was invigorating.

Once we got back to the house I went to make coffee only to realize I was out of half & half and I also remembered I was almost out of toilet paper. Like, one wipe was all I had left.

Half & half and toilet paper, hello, those are ESSENTIALS!  Essentials I tell you!

So, I made the decision to run to Wal Mart quickly and grab my essentials.  A quick in and out trip.  Since I had not had my morning dose of crack caffeine, I was not prepared to get completely ready for the day. 

As I am heading back to the dairy section of Wal Mart I realize OMG I am my own personal version of a “person of Wal Mart”. I was make-up less and wearing my sweatpants and sweatshirt from my walk earlier with Jackie.  My hair up in a ponytail with my sunglasses shoved atop my head. It was all that glamorous.

I was also braless.

Now, before everyone collectively gasps in horror that I was in public without an over the shoulder boulder holder, let me just say that I am not a “well endowed” woman.  I can often go without a bra and no one can tell, especially when I have a hoodie on.  When I say I am a B-cup I am being generous.  But the point is, being braless only added to the classiness that was my ensemble.

I picked up my pace, grabbed my half & half and tp and raced toward the checkout.  Then as I was checking out I realized several things: 1. Real “People of Wal Mart” aren’t awake this early on a Saturday! 2. “People of Wal Mart” aren’t rocking the Ugg boots and Dooney & Burke purse! **

Pssh, I was golden. Bring it Wal Mart. I’m not afraid of you

**yeah I know I sound completely shallow and materialistic, but let me have it okay. It’s my coping mechanism for my shame!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Everyone who is anyone is doing it

My Friday evening:

First of all, I JUST realized it was 9pm. Wow. I am the uncoolest person on the planet!

I am sitting on my couch in my snuggie (don't hate) with my dog snuggled at my side and my cat perched behind my head.

I am freshly showered and in sweatpants and a t-shirt, with my feet in the awesomest slippers ever. They are from Old Navy, and seriously they are my favorite slippers ever!

I am full from my yummy crock pot dinner. Thanks Cathy it was delicious. You should go vote for her!

I have discovered the amazingness that is Super Mario Bros for the Wii. I finally had to stop playing because my thumb was getting sore and I think I might have slightly traumatized my dog from yelling FUCK at the tv whenever I died.

I just watched Ricky Gervais comedy special on HBO and almost peed my pants laughing. He is hilarious. I get his humor. We would be best friends I just know it.

And now I am watching Hope for Haiti. And apparently Madonna has had a little work done her face...
***more importantly, go to and please help!*** Every story makes my heart ache more.

Ah, the glamorous life of me :)

I am so happy it is the weekend! I hope all your nights are as exciting as mine and your weekend is simply fabulous.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Holy scalpel, Batman!

Have you all seen/heard about all the plastic surgery Heidi Montag had done recently?! I think it is sad. She doesn’t even look like her original self. She was beautiful and unique and annoying as fuck, before she ever went under the knife. And now she is full of plastic, from her head to ass cheeks. And can someone please tell me where they found enough fat on her neck, waist, and thighs to perform liposuction?

It is so sad that she felt she needed to have all this surgery just so she would feel beautiful. I am not one to knock cosmetic surgery, I am sure after I have a couple of kids I might be looking into getting the tummy tightened and girls lifted. But I think it should be a crime that the surgeon was even allowed to perform all those surgeries on her and all in one day.

She is so young, only 23. She doesn’t even know what her body and face would look like when she became a real grown up. She has already thrown it away. While I can hardly stand her and I don’t think she should be famous in anyway because she is talentless (and don’t even get me started on that douche bag she married), my heart hurts for how much she must truly dislike herself.

She needs some therapy, not more surgery.

P.S. You all look beautiful today! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, behold your beauty!

Monday, January 11, 2010

The 100th Episode of the Perkster Show!

Guess what, guess what?!

This is my 100th post!

Can you believe it? Yeah, me neither.

I started this blog to journal my weight loss journey. Except I only wrote about 3 blogs about that. Then I turned it into my space (not to be confused with myspace).

My space where I rant and rave and cheer and cry. And in return you all offer advice, hugs, strategies, and basically feed my narcissism.

I discovered this whole new world called the blogosphere. Where my friends ACTUALLY live in the computer and it's not just a joke! Sometimes non-bloggers look at me funny when I say things like, oh my blog friend or my friend whose blog I follow said this or did that. They just don't understand (that was said in my head to the tune of Fresh Prince's "Parents Just Don't Understand"). How could they? But to me you all mean so much to me!

Each and everyone of you have touched me in some way (and no I don't mean in a pervy way, geez).

Thanks for reading and for being here. And I look forward to 100 more posts.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Hi Friday. Want to make out?

So lets recap the awesomeness that was this first full week back at work since the holidays (is anyone else counting down the days until MLK day on the 18th? yeah me too).

I have gone to look at the calendar multiple times this past week and every time I look up to see December staring back at me...'cause I am lazy and haven't gone and actually gotten a calendar for the new year. Sweet! I need a calendar because I write down all my awesome appointments. Okay, none are really awesome.

Being that it is a new year, my insurance has changed. Less than amused. Let me just say first, I am SOOOOOOOOOO thankful for a job that provides me with health insurance. But it is frakkin inconvenient. They sent out new insurance cards the first week of Jan. Genius that I am, I lost mine. I pulled it off the paper with every intention of putting it in my wallet. Somewhere between being in my hand in the dining room and my purse on the kitchen counter it went poof and disappeared. I would have felt worse about this except, they printed the WRONG information on the cards. My new card is on its way now to my mailbox, thank you very much!

Biggest inconvenience of having new insurance...the information, oh, say THE PHARMACY has on file is no longer valid. Have I mentioned that I am asthmatic and take advair? and have an albuterol inhaler? Normally my advair copay is a whooping $15 and my albuterol is a measly $5. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH they told me I had to pay today when I went to pick up my advair? $148! Pssh, no thank you I will be back when I get my card in the mail. Good thing it wasn't an important medication to yanno help with something vital to survival like say, breathing!

Also this week I took the big leap and switched from comcast cable to satellite cable. It has me a little worried, but mostly because I have always had comcast and I know how it all works. This satellite thing is going to take a little getting used to. Plus for the same package I had I now pay $40 less a month. Booya!

I dripped super glue on my laptop keyboard yesterday. The backspace key isn't that important, right? RIGHT?! Okay, I did manage to get most of it off before everything set and stuck for life (because I have lightening quick reflexes). And the key still works.

I crate my dog when I go to work because well sometimes he likes to read when I am not around:

(I blame the jack russell, he is always trying to get Shadow into trouble)

Today when I left for work I gave him the second half of his rawhide bone. When I came home at lunch and let him out, Jackie walked around the house with the knotted end (all that remained) in his mouth. Then before I knew it he had gone back into his crate and proceeded to chew up the rest of his bone. The door was wide open, but he had no desire to come out while he had part of a bone to work on. He is a funny funny little man.

He just stole the bone that Shadow was gnawing on right out from under Shadow's paw. Shadow looks completely stunned. And to add insult to injury, Jackie farted as he ran away with the bone and I think I might die

I hope all your work weeks ended with a laugh and you all enjoy your weekend!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

A room without books is a body without soul

I love books. I love everything about them. Their smell, the pages, the ink, the glue used in the binding. And most of all I love the story so neatly contained within those pages, waiting to take me away. If I know a movie is based off a book, I always want to read the book first.

And even though stories provide you with the basics and the foundation, each unfolding story is unique to each reader. We get to fill in the blanks with our own interpretation. While your Mr. Darcy might be similar to mine, they are still different.

My reading comes and goes. Sometimes I am a voracious reader and I fly through the books, I can hardly keep unread books in the house. It feels as though I have barely turned to the first page when I am already at the end. Other times it is more of a struggle to finish a book, it takes awhile for me to finish. I just don’t feel like reading (usually this is when life has been particularly stressful and I just want to hide under the covers from everything).

And...I have decided to join a book club. A blogger book club. I am pretty excited! And all of you are invited to join as well. And what a great opportunity to explore and experience your local library! You don’t have to buy the book, just check it out. Or maybe your local used book store has copy that is just waiting for your love.

"Don't let the name fool you- it's not for literally slow readers (although, if you are, we don't judge) and it's not as exclusive as a 'club'. this is an opportunity to take part of a movement that needs a revelation to slow down and take a few minutes in our day to disconnect, reenergize and even be a part of helping our communities and environment, via The Slow Movement."

* The first book will be Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls.

And we have 2 months to read the book. (Well technically 2 months from this past Monday 01/04). And then on March 4th we will all write a review on our blog about the book.

I am excited, it should be lots of fun and the authors I will be reading are ones that I might not normally think of.

If you want to join you should contact Carly (I discovered the book club through her blog), Diana, or Gabbi.

Wednesday What-Nots

I have actually been really productive at work this week...strange

I am happy that my shows are all coming back, I have missed them. Except Glee won't be back for several months :(

My favorite line from Biggest Loser last night was "Are my abs showing?!"

I am going to go watch The Wizard of Oz on the big screen tonight. It will be awesome.

Even though Christmas is over, I still listen to Christmas music on Pandora and it makes me smile.

My friend Damon brought me this flower as a house warming gift. Isn't it just beautiful:

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Basically it means I'm awesome

Christmas is officially, officially OVER in my neck of the woods. In fact, the holidays, period, are over (for now).

All indoor Christmas and holiday decorations came down early last week. I had a moment of motivation and decided it would be best if I just did it. Or I would still be looking at my Christmas tree in February.

But yesterday I completed the dismantling of the holidays. I took all the lights down outside. My house is back to “normal”.

You should also know that in order to take all the outside lights down it required me to get on the roof. Yes, the roof. Me.

I was on this roof.

Now, my house isn’t huge and only a single story, but for reals, that roof pitch is steep! And scary as hell.

Besides, do I look like someone who normally frolics along the rooftops? Pssh, no.

In fact, the only reason I had lights along my roofline was because MIKE climbed up on the roof in the first place!

I am pretty proud of myself. Basically this was the first big step in my plan to rule the world.

Bring it 2010, I ain’t scurred of you!
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