Friday, October 3, 2008

Tracking...funny how it works

Two weeks ago I was diligent in my tracking of food I ate. Even when I knew I hadn't stuck to my points and that I was eating "bad" food, I wrote it all down. And I lost 4.6lbs!

Last week I slacked a little on the tracking and wasn't monitoring everything I was eating very well. I eventually did get around to writing stuff down, but I fear that because I procrastinated I missed some food items that I ate. I gained .6lbs.

So I am trying my hardest to keep track of everything I eat and to actually stick with the program. I find the weekends are the hardest to get under control. At work my day is scheduled and I have a routine, but on weekends or days off my routine is thrown out of wack. And then I wait too long to eat and I am starving by the time I get around to it so I just eat the easiest and closest thing I can find...generally not something very healthy for me.

Today I had two beers, it was a two beer kind of day. I took Jackie to the vet, then had to take my car to the dealership for some recall replacement thing (I don't know cars, but I know something needed to be fixed and they were going to fix it). After leaving my car at the dealership I went to lunch with Mike and had a slice of pizza, the greatest but in moderation really not that bad. It was one slice and nothing else, granted it was a large slice. After he dropped me off at home, I proceeded to clean my room, bathroom included, and wash all my dirty clothes.

Then Mike came back over after work so that when they called to tell me my car was ready I would have a ride to go pick it up. He decided to look at my computer that I had out in the garage and see if it was usable or something (I don't speak computer). As he was turning it on and getting it all up and running, the background picture pops up and it was a head shot of Val Kilmer. I have the BIGGEST crush on that man.

Well the photo brought back all these old memories of college and how much I enjoyed it and miss that time and my friends from there. College was one of the best things I ever did.

But then Mike starts laughing at how little RAM is on the computer and how the firewall is from a company that doesn't exist nor is the internet program I used at the time, NetScape. I know he was just joking around and was a little nostalgic himself for the old memories these antiquated programs brought up. But it made me defensive. I bought that computer with my own money for $1000 in 1999. It was a big deal and I was so excited to even HAVE a computer for college that was my very own. My parents had barely gotten a computer themselves. That computer is almost 10 years old and the advancement in technology are exponential, but I felt like he was mocking me and the computer I had chosen. Even though I know he wasn't.

Then while I am still cleaning my room and washing clothes, Mike starts talking about me moving in and what his ideas are about my portion of rent. He says how about I pay $320, which is 10% of his mortgage and then $100 for utilities. How do I think this sounds? I am perfectly paying all of this, it is actually less than what I am paying now. But it stresses me out to think about moving and money is always stressful. Then it makes me angry because I think of Little Jon and how he doesn't pay any of the rent he promised to pay Mike and because of that I feel like I am getting shafted. Mike keeps going on and on about how he can really use the rent money and I just want to scream at him...FUCKING make Little Jon pay you or demand he work in trade around the house!

If I don't pay my rent, then I get EVICTED. Apparently if you are Little Jon, then nothing bad happens when you don't pay rent.

Little Jon himself stresses me the hell out. Something bad is always happens to him and it never his fault. What the hell ever! He watches cartoons all freaking day, finally decides to get going for the day around 3-4pm in the afternoon then heads on out. Usually he goes out the bar and staggers in around 3am. This of course causes Shadow to go balistic and that in turn wakes me up. I have to go to work at 7:30am so I would really appreciate sleeping through the night. On nights where he doesn't go out, he sits on the couch and criticises everything. He never has anything positive to say. It is always how something isn't right or he could do it better or blah blah blah. And him and Mike constantly bicker and I can feel myself getting tenser and tenser.

We get back to Mike's after getting my car from the dealership, I am hungry (only thing I have eaten was the piece of pizza earlier), I am cranky because I still feel defensive about my computer, and who is home, Little Jon. GAH!

So, I wanted two beers. And I happily wrote them down in my tracker like the good little weight watcher fatty I am :)

I am hopeful this week will be a loss week. I am determined to not be fat forever. Happy tracking!


Anonymous said...

I totally agree about the whole tracking thing. I think that when you forget to write points town you forget about them. Like yesterday, I thought that I was making good food choices (I had a mental tally) so I ate dinner and splurged on a margarita only to then remember (only after I had eaten everything) that I had pie today! Stupid tracking!

E said...

it wouldn't be so bad...except I HATE tracking!


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