Sleep study = no sleep for E

The awesomeness that is a sleep study:

My sleep study was originally planned for Friday night. I figured even if I didn't get a good night's sleep then I could rest up on Saturday. No, not so much. They called Friday afternoon to let me know that the technician was sick and could I move my study to Sunday. Okay, fine, whatevs...

Sunday, I am supposed to be there at 8pm. I leave my house late and get slowed down even more by an accident. I am late and already stressed. Boo.

I walk into the waiting room and there are two old men waiting for their studies and I notice they both have pillows along with their bag of personal items. MONKEY'S BALLS! I forgot my pillow! Of course they have pillows there but they asked us to bring our own so we would be more comfortable. I am off to a great start.

*Also I am missing Big Brother, True Blood, and Hung while I am at this sleep study. They should totally give me a medal!

I am taken back to the room and the technician explains what all is going to be happening and I even get to watch a nifty video. Yawn. The technician tells me that she will be back around 9:30 to get me all hooked up and I will be ready to go to sleep.

I get into my PJs, read my book for a little bit and then the technician is back and she has a grip of wires and electrodes, etc etc.

I am hooked up to every monitor ever created by humankind. It took 30-45 minutes to get them all attached. There were nine placed all over my head, in my hair, with glue. There was one on either side of my eyes, snore monitor (awesomeness) stuck to my throat, two thingies on my forehead, and another on my chin. In addition I had an electrode attached to either calf, wires going up through my pants, up the back of my t-shirt and out the neck. To monitor how much effort I used to breathe, there was a strap around my chest and another around my gut (yes, my gut also sometimes called my waist or stomach). To top off the fabulousness, I had the tubing they use to give patients oxygen, across my upper lip, except it was to monitor my air output when I breathed out instead of blowing air in. All the wires and tubing were collected into a kind of ponytail at the neck of my t-shirt.

What? Where is the photo? HA HA HA, you are so funny. There is no photo evidence, well at least from me. I was frightened just looking in the mirror. No one needs to see that. EVER.

It is important to remember at this point that I am the world's lightest sleeper. And I am now expected to go to sleep with wires stuck all over my face on my legs, in an unfamiliar place, in a unfamiliar bed, and it is all being filmed.

That shiz better never end up on YouTube!

I am told I can go to sleep in whatever position I normally do, but that after I have been asleep for awhile they will tell me (through an intercom) to roll over onto my back. *E* does not equal back sleeper. Also, if I need to get up at all during the night I have to say, "I need to get up" and wait for the technician to come into the room and disconnect me from the wall.

Have I mentioned how awesome this is going to be? Not only am I so outside my comfort zone I need a passport, but now I am all paranoid about being filmed. I don't know what I do while I am sleeping!

11:00pm - lights out

11:30pm - finally fall asleep on my side

12:00am - woken up by the technician telling me over the intercom to turn over onto my back

1:15am - Technician tells me I can go back to sleeping on my side since I have been tossing and turning and trying to fall asleep for over an hour on my back and it's not working.

2:00am - Technician comes into the room, I wake up immediately. She tells me she is turning on the fan because the room is getting too warm and they don't want me sweating too much...the electrode thingies might come off if I do that.

3:30am - Technician comes back into the room to check my nose breathing thing because she isn't getting a reading from the left nostril. It had slipped off my ear and out of my nostril.

4:00am - I have to pee. I wait for the technician to come disconnect me, go pee and climb back into the bed, takes about 20 minutes to fall back asleep.

6:15am - Technician back in the room to wake me up for the day.

It takes her about 15 minutes to get all the things stuck all over my body disconnected and then she tackles the glue patches throughout my hair. She did manage to get most of it out, but there were two blue patches in the middle of my part.

I get home and so tired I can't even think about going to work at 8am. I crawl into my own bed, snuggled up with the kitties and pass the eff out until 11am. It is safe to say that Monday was not my most productive day at work.

I really hope they got all the information they needed because if they tell me I have to do another sleep study I may stab someone in the eye.

P.S. BF finding the blog is not bad, it just means I will have to be more aware of what I say about him and our relationship :)