Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Riding the cotton pony

Dear Period,

You suck! I hate you! You are lucky that I plan to have children one day or you would be in BIG trouble. Huge, ginormous, you don't even know. You don't EVEN. KNOW!

If you insist on making a monthly visit, do you have to be suck a bitch about it? I mean really.

Of course there have been times (like once or twice) where I am anxiously awaiting your arrival and becoming scared shitless more and more stressed as I wait. And then you appear, and that month you are my best friend. And I love you and welcome you with open arms.

But usually you are evil. Let me list the ways in which you make my life hell:

*Cramping
*Bloating
*Chocolate craving ('cause when I am already feeling bloated and emotional, I should really eat more candy)
*Period poops (I mean REALLY?! is that necessary? Seriously?)
*Channeling my inner Diana Ross Diva
*Crying at the drop of the hat - dog food commercial, yep made me cry
*Nipples that hurt

It has been 17 years, can't we work something out?

Sincerely,
E

5 comments:

Elizabeth Marie said...

Amen to this!!!!!!

Blaez said...

not any of my business but have you tried low dose hormone therapy?

i take 10mg of provera the last 5 days of the month (1 pill for 5 days) and let me tell you, even tho i am on it for another medical reason i do not have bad periods anymore!

i still crave the chocolate but that's like all the time! and its not birth control so you can still get preggers so use a condom if you don't want the little swimmers mating with you!!

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100002190.html

that's the best site i could find for it. i've been on this medication since june of 2007 and i'm fine as can be. i was on it in 2004 as well to help me infertility issues as well.

anyways, just a thought!

Fidgeting Gidget said...

Ugh, I hate feeling like that!! HATE IT!

Valerie said...

Oh.My.Goodness. You crack me up!!

I hate all this too! Yuck!

Ali said...

Ah, you speak the damn truth! Clearly something we can all relate to.

 
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