Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Riding the cotton pony

Dear Period,

You suck! I hate you! You are lucky that I plan to have children one day or you would be in BIG trouble. Huge, ginormous, you don't even know. You don't EVEN. KNOW!

If you insist on making a monthly visit, do you have to be suck a bitch about it? I mean really.

Of course there have been times (like once or twice) where I am anxiously awaiting your arrival and becoming scared shitless more and more stressed as I wait. And then you appear, and that month you are my best friend. And I love you and welcome you with open arms.

But usually you are evil. Let me list the ways in which you make my life hell:

*Chocolate craving ('cause when I am already feeling bloated and emotional, I should really eat more candy)
*Period poops (I mean REALLY?! is that necessary? Seriously?)
*Channeling my inner Diana Ross Diva
*Crying at the drop of the hat - dog food commercial, yep made me cry
*Nipples that hurt

It has been 17 years, can't we work something out?



Elizabeth Marie said...

Amen to this!!!!!!

Blaez said...

not any of my business but have you tried low dose hormone therapy?

i take 10mg of provera the last 5 days of the month (1 pill for 5 days) and let me tell you, even tho i am on it for another medical reason i do not have bad periods anymore!

i still crave the chocolate but that's like all the time! and its not birth control so you can still get preggers so use a condom if you don't want the little swimmers mating with you!!

that's the best site i could find for it. i've been on this medication since june of 2007 and i'm fine as can be. i was on it in 2004 as well to help me infertility issues as well.

anyways, just a thought!

Fidgeting Gidget said...

Ugh, I hate feeling like that!! HATE IT!

Valerie said...

Oh.My.Goodness. You crack me up!!

I hate all this too! Yuck!

Ali said...

Ah, you speak the damn truth! Clearly something we can all relate to.

The Perkster - Ramblings of a hungry fat girl. Design by Exotic Mommie. Illustraion By DaPino