Friday, June 1, 2012

Just tired

I am getting married in 5 weeks. I am overwhelmed and I feel slightly alone. Stuart and I have been bickering, money is tight (when isn’t it) and we all know money is one of the biggest stressors in a relationship. Plus juggling his cognitive rehab appts* and Little Dude’s therapies for speech, physical and behavior.

There is the legal stuff going on with BM. She continues to fail to pay ANY child support and has not had contact with Little Dude since Easter and that was only a minute long conversation. Prior to that she talked at him on the phone at the beginning of January…honestly I am glad she has basically dropped off the face of the earth.

Yesterday we received some news regarding the child support case and why it has not been enforced as of yet. While Stuart has a court order for child support (which BM is in contempt of for failure to pay or keep Stuart informed of her contact info), his support order has not been being enforced because apparently you have to request that it be enforced. While at work I get this barrage of texts from him saying everything is all crap now and the contempt issue probably null and void and his final orders don’t mean anything, etc.

I have a stressful job, I was in an all day training out of town that was stressful and draining and I just couldn’t handle the dramatics at home as well. I don’t understand why he jumped to such an extreme view point. When I got home from work he accused me of ignoring him and acting as if he wasn’t there. I was doing what I ALWAYS do when I get home after we eat dinner and put Little Dude to bed, I was checking crackbook and reading my emails (I hadn’t had computer access all day while in training). My day had started at 6am and I didn’t even get home until 6:30pm.

Before the text messages started yesterday I was looking forward to getting home, relaxing, messing around on the computer, and then spending some time with Stuart just hanging out and decompressing. Instead we had a bitchfest, he went to bed at 8pm and I went out back to water the garden and just get away from it all.

Little Dude has been sick and cranky all week and last night he woke up from a nightmare or something screaming and crying and spent the night in our bed. Lack of sleep and already stressed out when I went to bed…make today more difficult than usual.

I am tired and I am stressed. These next few weeks are crazy busy with wedding planning activities and getting all the final touches completed. I don’t really know what the point of this post was besides to just get crap out of my head and off my shoulders for a little bit. And to let you all know I am still alive over here.

*Stuart was in a car accident in 2007 where he was rear ended while sitting at a red light by a woman who claims to have fallen asleep at the wheel. He suffered frontal and left temporal lobe damage in his brain. This means he constantly fatigued and has memory issues and organization issues.


Smart Ass Sara said...

Oh I hate hearing this. But you know what? This is marriage. (Doesn't that make you want to run to the altar?? LOL) But it really is. I'm reading a book called "Marriage Confidential" by Pamela Haag and I'm recommending it to EVERYONE. It's so good and really hits the nail on what marriage is really like.

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