Tuesday, June 2, 2009

No Boys Allowed

Today was just a normal Tuesday at work. Like any other Tuesday. I have my coffee, a coworker has already annoyed me in the first 20 minutes I have been at work, I start to surf the internet, er, I mean start to work on overpayments.

After lunch I head to the bathroom. The women's bathroom. There are 3 stalls, one is a large handicap stall and two regular stalls. The handicap stall was occupied so I chose the one closest to the door. That left a stall between us. I am weird like that okay. If no one else is in the bathroom I will always choose the middle stall, but I don't like to be right next to the other stalls if they are occupied if I can help. Yeah, yeah, I know, weird.

Anywasted, I walk into the stall and what do I see...the toilet with the seat raised. Huh? And there is toilet paper in the toilet. Double huh? It's not first thing in the morning when the toilet seats are sometimes raised after the janitor cleaned them. Whatever, I flush the toilet, do my business, flush again, wash my hands and leave.

Once back at my desk I don't think anymore about it. A few hours later my friend SS stops by my desk and tells me that for the second time that day she has gone into the bathroom and discovered the toilet seat raised with toilet paper in the toilet. I'm all, "DUUUUUDE me too!" And she's all "What? No way!" and I'm like, "No seriously. And I thought it was strange when it happened to me and now I think it is even weirder." SS looks at me and says, all while laughing, "Thank God it's not just me!"

Then we brainstrom trying to figure out why the toilet in the ladies room is raised. Is there an office gnome who just can't quite make it to the men's bathroom and thinks it's amusing to try and catch the ladies in the office unaware? Is there a transgender in the office? Because if there is I am totally cool with that, but come on, you are using the ladies bathroom, please put the seat back down!

Later, when discussing this mystery with Jen, she informed me that it was a certain someone in the office and other people in the office have experienced it as well. We are not sure why she does this.

Any ideas? Is she cleaning the toilet after she finishes? Is she that crazy of a pee-er? I mean really...how hard is it make it in the toilet? Do I even want to know what kind of craziness goes on in there when she uses the bathroom?

Or maybe she has boy parts we don't know about. I really don't care, JUST PUT THE SEAT DOWN AND FLUSH THE TOILET PAPER!

18 comments:

Alicia said...

LOL! Weird! Who does that? It's the ladies room...just glue the seats down, there's no reason for them to be up...ever.

Miss Rosa said...

I bet you anything she's a totally freakazoid OCD person who feels the need to squat, hovering over the toilet, and raises the seat so she doesn't splash it, and then is too freaked out to touch the flusher. Germs and all.

Al said...

ladies toilets always result in a dramatic story... we have the issue of pee everywhere.. there are now signs on all the doors explaining you should sit on the toilet, not stand and squat on it.... such a useful poster...
and every friday someone throws a roll of toilet paper in the end cubicle... why?!?!! its the only toilet that has light above it and doesnt flood the bathroom when flushed!!!

Cammie said...

stopping by from SITS to welcome you!!! Too funny about the office gnome!

Lady Jane said...

Thats great!! I hope you find out who it is...i love a good office mystery:)

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

LOL! Thanks for the good laugh! Just make sure you look before sitting down! Don't want to fall in! Stopping by from SITS with a big WELCOME for you! :)

LiLu said...

I'd say she's a tranny, but then wouldn't s/he want to cover her tracks? WEIRD.

Jen said...

that is really weird and kinda gross. I mean who want to touch a toliet all the time. Yuck.

Stopping by from SITS.

a noni mouse said...

i agree w/ Lilu. there must be some other... more organic kind of reasoning. n just so u know i NEVER use the middle stall even if im alone bc as soon as someone comes in, theres no way around it.. theyll end up RIGHT NEXT TO ME. im worried about getting asked for toilet paper or something.

Elizabeth Marie said...

Ohhh Lilu beat me too it...TRANNY?! hmmm thats weird. Bathrooms are always full of stories haha.

Mr. Apron said...

Ah, LiLu. You would think that, wouldn't you.

I'm rolling with it, though. She's a tranny, but she isn't trying to cover her tracks.

She WANTS to be caught-- like all those "dumb criminals" who get caught on video tape or run from the police at night wearing LA Gear light-up sneakers.

She wants you to know that she's cocked, locked, and loaded.

Noice!

Julie said...

You obviously need to install a secret camera.

Valerie said...

For whatever reason I always go to the handicap toilet. I know that's kind of awful but It's the furthest from the door usually. lol

I can't think of any reason why she would raise that toilet seat. I don't like raising mine at home to clean it I definitely wouldn't want to clean the one at the office.

Oh I stopped by to welcome you to SITS. I think your going to enjoy being a part of our community!!

Have a great day!!

Charmed said...

Okay...3 stories here...

1. She may be a squatter. My mother taught me to squat early in age. My dad played softball so we frequented the nastiness bathrooms in town. And sometimes when you squat, it can go a little of kilter. Maybe that is what she is doing?

2. We have someone who frequents our womens restroom who does #2 and leaves the evidence behind. I mean, A LOT of evidence! It is really gross. How hard is it clean yourself and not leave any of it on the toilet seat, floor or stall? We are all grown women here, no toddlers, whose arms won't reach. Who, by the way, is the only age I forgive for this nastiness.

3. At work, same workplace as #2, we hired a temp once who looked a little burly. Well, she went into the ladies room and some of the women, including me were also in there taking care of business. She went in the stall and stood with her feet toward the toilet, like a man does, and when she was done, she grabbed the top of the door and opened it like a man would do. I mean, how many women actually grab the top of a door to open it? Yeah, I know...not that many, right? We later found out after she left that she/he was in the middle of a sex change operation. She had the top half of a female and still had the bottom half of a male. Hmmmmm.....interesting first date conversation, don't you think?

Aubrey said...

I thought women were supposed to be more prim and proper...especially when it comes to the ladies room. Ick.

Coming over from SITS with a WELCOME!

DiPaola Momma said...

The thick plottens! Is it the fabled Gnome of the Cubicles? Is it a she-male in drag? Is it the ghost of the men's room that is buried in that same spot, haunting the women who now dare defile The Boys Room? Or is it just some whacked chick with OCD and a penchant for rectal germs?? I for one will stay tuned until the mystery is solved.. you have called in Colombo, no?

Welcome to SITS from your friendly neighborhood Welcomista;0}

Joshley and The Charles said...

OMG! I love it! I am the same way with the bathroom stalls :) I found your blog through iva and i wanted to say hi! I also saw that you are part of SITS too :) I look forward to reading more!
Check out my blog at joshleyreno.blogspot.com
have a great weekend (and don't worry about weird bathroom co-worker till monday)!

Stalker v1.5 said...

I agree with Miss Rosa. I work with someone with that same type of OCD. But, in their defense of cuhrazy, we have a squeaky clean office!

 
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