Butt Dialing ruins all the fun!

My Weekend:

*woke up as Mike was leaving for the day and night

*took a shower (serious accomplishment, I know)

*got dressed

*headed over to my parents' house so I could take them to the airport (they are going to Sitka Alaska for a friend's impromptu wedding), but stopped at Starbucks on the way...hello, I NEEDED my coffee

*after dropping my parents off I went and did some retail therapy
-I bought a bike helmet so my brain stays safe in my skull. And discovered that I have a small head and needed to purchase a YOUTH helmet because the adult helmet was waaaay too loose. Awesomeness-not
-I hit up Old Navy because they were having a great sale, got a couple tank tops and sweatshirt thingy
-I went to Macy's and got some fun new Mac eye make-up, woo hoo and while I was there I figured I should see about getting a new beige bra (my all time favorite beige bra that I wore under all my white tops, broke :(, the underwire snapped in half the other day and it is not fun to have underwire pinching and jabbing you in the boob) so I found a new bra I liked.

*After that excitement I came home and hung out with the boys, Shadow and Jackie, then I decided to experiment with my new eye shadow.

*Later I got dressed for the girls night, I did my new eye make-up, put on a black tank and headed out. Black was the color of the night apparently.

*Celebrated Andrea's 32nd birthday with booze, good food, and cake. The talk revolved around queefing, being crafty in attempts to have sex after children, pooping with children, constipation while pregnant, pooping after giving birth to children and some of our desire to NEVER have children after these talks. I know classy right. It was super fabulous, it's okay to be jealous.

*Oh yeah and I forgot my ID so I had to use my passport to prove I was of legal drinking age. Super awesome! Yeah, I am not positive why my passport was in my purse either, but hey it's good to be prepared in case you have to leave the country in a hurry.

*We had all decided to head out to the Rocking Rodeo or as I affectionately call it...The Hodeo. But in the course of that discussion Andrea butt dialed her husband who heard the whole conversation about going out dancing and drinking at the Hodeo. He called her back and was all angry because she had said we were all just going out to dinner and nothing about dancing. Complete buzz kill.

*Headed home and read my book for awhile, then super tired headed to bed. I opted not to remove my eye make-up or any of my make up as it was almost 2am when I was climbing into bed, not ever a good idea or good for my face.

*This morning at 5:45 am my dogs spotted a squirrel outside on the fence, little fucker!, and they went completely ape shit trying to get him. Even though they were inside and he was outside. It scared the crap out of me! I then had to go around and close all the curtains and blinds on the french doors so they could no longer see outside.

*Since I was up I decided to pee, I am a morning pee-er and would have been up in an hour to pee anyway. As I walked into the bathroom, I glanced in the mirror and it looked like someone had punched me in both eyes. It wasn't pretty. So then I decided to wash my face.

*When my face was clean and moisturized I crawled back into bed and promptly fell back asleep.

*It is now about 1:30, I have been up for about 4 hours yet I remain in my pajamas. Mike is not home yet but should be in about 1.5 hours. I will make sure I am dressed by then.

*Until then I am simply enjoying my lazy Sunday afternoon and tonight I will be enjoying a new episode of True Blood.

I hope you all had a great weekend, I know I did. And it's a short work week since I have Friday off in honor of the 4th!

Relay For Life

I am participating in the Relay for Life. My team entered the Relay a little late and our fundraising goal is small in comparison to some other teams. But every penny raised goes to help find a cure for cancer. I have lost both of my paternal grandparents to cancer. I have friends who have had their own personal cancer scares or have family members currently fighting for their lives.

Cancer is an insidious disease that sneaks up on people and destroys their lives. Many people do survive today because of the vital research that has been funded through the American Cancer Society and Relay for Life. Cancer changes people forever. Those who survive are that much more aware of their own mortality and how fragile life truly is. Many spend a good portion of their lives still looking over their shoulder and wondering, “Is it back? Am I really okay? I don’t feel 100% today…” Those left behind when the battle against cancer has been lost must pick up the pieces and try to continue on.

I am asking for help. Please help my team reach our fundraising goal of $1000. The event I am participating in will be held July 24th – 25th. Again, every penny counts. I know times are hard and people are watching their spending, but any donation made to the American Cancer Society will not be for nothing. It will not be money wasted. It will be money used to help save someone’s life and hopefully find a cure!

Thank you for your support! Below are the links to my personal Relay for Life page and my team’s page.

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/EricaH
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/retrowreckers


Sincerely,
Erica

Journey into home ownership...gah!

I have decided to buy a house. I have found the whole process exhausting and stressful and very emotional. And above all exciting. It is the largest purchase of my life, even bigger than my college education which cost me a pretty $50,000+ penny. I am also purchasing this house all on my own. Me, moi, yo, yours truly. Can I get a paper bag? I feel a panic attack coming on.

But, now that I have gotten that out of the way...I am so excited! I am having a house built! It is a small house, 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, but I am the only one going to be living there and I am getting more and more excited. I have picked out my colors and everything.

This is my dirt!



And this is my foundation.

Toilet bandit strikes again. Okay it's not really a bandit, but I liked the ring of that better than "Office Trannie is Back". I guess either works

Okay, first, this is completely unrelated to the toilet incident, but yesterday was my birthday. I had to go testify before the grand jury for work and I had never done that before. It was really interesting. AND I got a cruiser bike! I am so excited. Isn't it purdy!



All I need now is a basket and a bell.

Now back to the toilet. Remember how I mentioned someone has been leaving the toilet seat up at work in the women's bathroom? Well since then I have been trying to capture it in a photo for all of you, as any die hard blogger would do. Without further ado I present the toilet mystery:



What the hell?! I just don't get it. It was mentioned that perhaps someone is vomiting in the toilet, but wouldn't they want to get rid of any evidence indicating that they were purging? Therefore putting the seat down? Also, there is the toilet seat tissue paper thingy in the toilet too. Or if they are wiping the seat down because water splashes up after flushing (it can be a pretty powerful whoosh), then why isn't there just a little wad of toilet paper in there instead of the toilet paper and seat cover.

We know who is doing it, we just don't know why. I am also pretty sure she is not a trannie (but with the work done these days it can be hard to tell). She is married, I know it doesn't mean she wasn't a dude at some point, but she has told me that her and her husband are trying to get pregnant...pretty sure going boy to girl does not enable a person to get knocked up. I mean there is that one guy over in Bend who went from girl to boy and is pregnant for the second time, but he was born with the right girl parts for that. And besides, he lives in Bend Oregon and I am in Western Oregon.

I am thinking of posting this picture on the door to the bathroom with a note that either says, "Why are you leaving the seat up? We don't want to fall in and we are wicked curious as to why you have this strange quirk." or "WTF?! Put the seat down, this is the women's restroom. We shouldn't have to worry about falling in!"

Tomorrow is my birthday!

Today is my last day as a 27 year old.

My last birthday I was pretty panicked, the mere thought of turning 27 had me freaked out. I know, I know, 27 is nothing and there was no reason for me to be so stressed and generally I don't care about getting older, it is part of life. In fact I am looking forward to celebrating my dirty thirty. But with 27, I felt like I wasn't where I expected to be. And I felt like now I was really supposed to be a REAL grown up (whatever the hell that means). It was time to stop messing around.

Well, tomorrow I turn a whopping 28. I have no aversion to turning 28. I am actually looking forward to this new year. This last year I settled more and become more comfortable with where I am in life and who I am. I will get where I am supposed to be when I get there.

I have a job I like (I don't love it, let's not get crazy here!) I am in the process of buying my very first house ALL ON MY OWN! It will be all mine. It is terrifying and exciting all at the same time. I am comfortable with where I am in my romantic relationship and I am also sure in what I want eventually and what I am not willing to settle for or give up on.

So, here is saying goodbye to my 27th year and all the angst I felt going into it and welcoming in my 28th year and all my hopes and dreams I have for it!

Flashback Friday - Mexico day

Yep, it's that time a again...Flashback Friday, brought to you by ScaryMommy.



This was orginally posted 12/06/07 on Myspace
Family Vacation Part VI

Today was Mexico day. We were already docked by the time I woke up, around 8:30. My brothers and I slowly begin to get ready for the day, meet up with our parents for breakfast and then it is off to Mexico (This must be pronouced, MEJICO).

We are already bickering as we step off the ship. Some of us want to go one way the others want to go another way (Alex is the biggest baby of all)...it is shaping up to be a great day, I can tell. After we figure out which way to go and how to get out the port terminal we begin our trek. Immediately we are bombarded with street vendors offering us the most authentic whatever at the best price. I may be a little gringa but I do speaka the espanish.

As we trek along we lose my mother along the way in one of the jewelry stores. She is on a mission to find silver jewelry. I am not really on a mission to "find" anything, I am just enjoying not being on a lurching ship and taking in all the sights and sounds. It is also obvious that we are in a touristy section that caters to the cruise ships. I did however find a the cutest little poncho ever, for Jack. He is going to rock that poncho like no little dog has ever rocked a poncho! Yes, people I did get a poncho for my dog, so what, don't be hatin'.

In one store Alex is admiring a poncho for himself and Sam is looking at something...next thing I know Sam is chatting away in Spanish with the saleswoman. Nice, Sam. I know my brothers know and speak Spanish but I never hear them use it. Sam is surprisingly good (sorry Sam, I never meant to doubt your ability). And for everyone who wants to know...yes I used my Spanish as well. You would be surprised at how quickly the price of an item drops from the original quote, when they realize that you know what they are saying and can converse with them. We all managed to get so pretty cool stuff for decent prices and the overall experience was the best part.

At one point we are in one of the many little shops along the main drag and Sam and I are chatting with this woman about some of the art she is selling. We finish our purchases and are preparing to leave and the woman says to us, "hablan espanol muy bien" (you speak Spanish very well). Sam turns to the woman and replies "Tu tambien!" (you too). We all start cracking up and the woman's husband thought this was the funniest thing he had heard all day. When you can crack jokes in Spanish, you're doing pretty good! I think my dad was the most surprised at all of us, since we never speak Spanish in front of him, even though we all know it.

We did have a small snafoo trying to get a snack. We went to this one restuarant and got chips and drinks and they offered to make guacamole at our table for us. We agreed and the guacamole was yummy. The guy turns to my mom and tells her the guac is $8.00...freshly made at your table, sounds reasonable, she pays him. We finish eating, there is rap music blaring, we can hardly hear one another, I have gotten up and moved around the table to get out the sun (I have delicate skin that does not like direct sunlight people). I notice a menu up on a podium close to the entrance, my mom has asked me to look and see if it says how much the drinks were. I look at the menu, drinks aren't listed...but guacamole made tableside is, for $5.50. As we are leaving Sam goes up the waiter and says, "Hey, I want my $2.50 back because the guac is only $5.50 and not the $8.00 you charged us." He ends up getting the money back and we leave. All in all that was the "worst" thing that happened to us. I am still wondering who the f@$* is this guy traveling with us named Sam?! Sam was always the quietest, most reserved child and now he is the one demanding our money back and wheeling and dealing like a pro with the locals. He has turned into quite the little schmoozer!

We are now back on the ship, heading back to Long Beach. Once again the shit is rocking quite a bit. FYI-they give out free dramamine packets, I wonder if that is because they don't want to clean up everyone's puke? :) Our waiter at dinner said that usually you don't feel the ship move quite so much and that these last few days have been particularly rocky. I believe it is because we are hitting the after shocks of the storm the buffeted the west coast.

No one made our mom cry today and for the most part it was an uneventful drama free day. I would like to point out that I NEVER made our mom cry, gold star to me and I maintain favorite child status! ;) I am hoping that maybe I can win the the "Who can make Alex cry?" prize. Now you may be thinking, Erica, your trip is almost over. You would be right, but there is still plenty of stressful family togetherness time in which I can cause Alex to get mad enough to cry...alright, alright, I am joking, I will not actively try and make Alex cry, that would just be mean (a little funny, but mean).

Tomorrow we will attempt to return home, hopefully without any weather delays. And I will be sure to post one last blog about the final leg of our family vacation. Also once I get home I will be sure to post pictures of this saga I have enthralled you all with.

P.S. To Cesar and Martin :-P see I do too speak Spanish!

Dental Floss blows and I don't mean the thong kind

I know Flashback Friday is tomorrow and for all my devoted readers who are anxiously awaiting another installment of the 'Family Vacation' (that would be all of you, you're all devoted to me, right? RIGHT?!) there is another one planned for tomorrow. But since I went to the dentist this week, I thought this post was fitting and still true...

Originally posted Dec 2008 on Myspace:

I went to the dentist this week. I dislike going to the dentist. Now I don't dislike the dentist because they poke and prod and scrape my teeth. I don't dislike it because my mouth is sore afterwards. Actually I don't mind the teeth cleaning at all, sometimes I even start to fall asleep as I am sitting in the chair. And of course you get presents when you go the dentist, new tooth brushes, tooth paste, and floss.

The reason I don't like the dentist is flossing. I hate flossing, it kind of grosses me out. I have short stumpy fingers and it can be hard to get to those "hard to reach places". And I really only floss when something gets stuck between my teeth.

But every time I go to the freaking dentist they ask me if I have been flossing. Have I ever been flossing regularly? In all the years I have gone there, every six months when I come in, has my answer EVER been yes?! NO! Because I hate flossing. Hate it, hate it, hate it!

Always after I answer no (I have considered just telling them yes, but they can tell once they start working on my teeth that I am lying) I then get a lecture on why flossing is so important. And that I should really make an effort to do it. And when I am older I will appreciate that I flossed when I was younger. Blah blah blah bablah. I get it already.

I am not 10. I am a grown up with my own damn health insurance and if I don't want to floss then I really don't have to. If one day, when I am 80 and my teeth rot out of my head and it is all due to the lack of flossing in my youth, then I give the dentist full permission to say, "I told you so." Until then, shut the hell up and stop lecturing me on flossing.

So, that is why I hate going to the dentist. But I do have a cool new toothbrush (and another package of floss to add to the ever growing collection in my bathroom drawer).

What's that smell?

I am home sick today :( The past few days I have just been feeling off and not very well. I ended up leaving work early yesterday and sleeping all afternoon. And today I decided to not even go into work.

Being sick blows. You aren't at work but you can't really do anything exciting or fun because you don't feel well and lack the motivation and energy to do anything.

I was sitting here, reading blogs and checking email and yelling at my dogs who wouldn't stop barking and I kept getting whiffs of this smell. I kept trying to figure out where it was coming from...did I need to wash the blankets on the couch, did I need to wash my dog who was curled up next to me? Then I realized what smelled, it was ME!

Since I have been sick I didn't shower yesterday and then I hadn't showered today either. Also I had been running a slight fever and once it broke I was all sweaty. It is never fun to realize that the unpleasant odor you are detecting is actually coming from yourself!

Needless to say, I have showered now and no longer stink, but I still feel crappy.

Flashback Friday

It's that time again...Flashback Friday ala ScaryMommy



Family Vacation Part V (Originally posted 12/5/07)

Today we were supposed to dock in Ensenada. This did not happen. Due to large swells and gusts of wind the port at Ensenada was closed, so today ended up being our "At Sea" day. This would not have been so bad if it weren't for the giant swells. The ship rocks a little all the time, today however it lurched from side to side. I have not been seasick this whole trip except for today. Everywhere you go you sway from side to side. You will just be standing there and the next thing you know you've stumbled sideways, like a drunk person. Who needs to drink when I can experience all the negative after effects without even trying.

I have tried to sleep most of the day and that seems to help. We will attempt to dock at Ensenada tomorrow, so don't worry everyone who was expecting a Mexican treat from me...you may still get it.

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah and there was a little Chanukah celebration, it was nice. There was challah bread (yum, my favorite) and latke wannabees. They were not latkes, they were just plain ol' pancakes. There were two Israeli men around my age and my mother has already tried to set me up with them. "I just want you to find a nice Jewish boy...or any boy at all."

Alex won the silver in who can make mom cry today. Alex, Sam, and I were all planning on meeting up for lunch at noon. I guess Alex ran into our mom on the way and she decided to join us. Well, Sam and I had come in from one entrance and told the hostess that there would be 3 of us. Alex and my mom came from another direction and when I told the hostess that there were really 4 of us all hell broke loose. There was utter confusion with the hostess and them trying to figure out where to seat us, then I look over and my mother has left the restaurant...what the hell. Alex turns around and leaves and soon after Sam follows. There I am standing in the middle of the restaurant with the hostess, both of us have no idea what has just happened. I turn to the hostess, shrug my shoulders in a helpless gesture and give her a sheepish grin...then I bolt.

I leave to go find everyone and there are Sam and my mom. She is upset because when we told the hostess that our party was now a group of 4 and it got a little confusing, Alex turned to our mom and said "You weren't even invited." Alex stormed off in huff, Sam and I calmed our mom down and finally got seated...for 3. Next thing you know, there is my dad, we are once again a party of 4. Sigh. As much as I complain about my mom I do love the woman and I know she just wants to make sure that we all are having a good time and she wants to spend some of that time with us.

Okay, I am off to get ready for dinner. Wish us luck on getting to Ensenada tomorrow.



P.S. As I have mentioned they feed you all the time here. There is food everywhere and room service 24 hrs a day. Because of this I made the decision to try and take the stairs whenever I can, to try and counter balance the food intake. My calves and thighs have been burning! Hasta manana.

No Boys Allowed

Today was just a normal Tuesday at work. Like any other Tuesday. I have my coffee, a coworker has already annoyed me in the first 20 minutes I have been at work, I start to surf the internet, er, I mean start to work on overpayments.

After lunch I head to the bathroom. The women's bathroom. There are 3 stalls, one is a large handicap stall and two regular stalls. The handicap stall was occupied so I chose the one closest to the door. That left a stall between us. I am weird like that okay. If no one else is in the bathroom I will always choose the middle stall, but I don't like to be right next to the other stalls if they are occupied if I can help. Yeah, yeah, I know, weird.

Anywasted, I walk into the stall and what do I see...the toilet with the seat raised. Huh? And there is toilet paper in the toilet. Double huh? It's not first thing in the morning when the toilet seats are sometimes raised after the janitor cleaned them. Whatever, I flush the toilet, do my business, flush again, wash my hands and leave.

Once back at my desk I don't think anymore about it. A few hours later my friend SS stops by my desk and tells me that for the second time that day she has gone into the bathroom and discovered the toilet seat raised with toilet paper in the toilet. I'm all, "DUUUUUDE me too!" And she's all "What? No way!" and I'm like, "No seriously. And I thought it was strange when it happened to me and now I think it is even weirder." SS looks at me and says, all while laughing, "Thank God it's not just me!"

Then we brainstrom trying to figure out why the toilet in the ladies room is raised. Is there an office gnome who just can't quite make it to the men's bathroom and thinks it's amusing to try and catch the ladies in the office unaware? Is there a transgender in the office? Because if there is I am totally cool with that, but come on, you are using the ladies bathroom, please put the seat back down!

Later, when discussing this mystery with Jen, she informed me that it was a certain someone in the office and other people in the office have experienced it as well. We are not sure why she does this.

Any ideas? Is she cleaning the toilet after she finishes? Is she that crazy of a pee-er? I mean really...how hard is it make it in the toilet? Do I even want to know what kind of craziness goes on in there when she uses the bathroom?

Or maybe she has boy parts we don't know about. I really don't care, JUST PUT THE SEAT DOWN AND FLUSH THE TOILET PAPER!