Do they make pull-ups for 27 yr olds?

I almost wet the bed this morning. No, seriously. I am almost 28 for crying out loud! Besides I was never the bed wetting kid. I was completely potty trained at 1.5, that's the only reason they let me into the preschool before I was 2. My mom and I were on a site visit and as the owner was showing us around I turned to them both and said, "I have to go potty." The lady was so impressed she allowed me to start before I turned 2...BECAUSE I WAS EFFING POTTY TRAINED!

I have been feeling less than 100% the last week or so and this morning I just couldn't do the whole "Get up and go to work all day" thing. The alarm went off and I told Mike I just couldn't go to work today. My whole body ached and my throat was scratchy. I remember thinking, I need to pee, I'll get up in a minute. Then Mike left.

The house got quiet and the dogs settled back down and I passed out again. Several hours later I remember dreaming and in my dream I was searching for a bathroom at this party I was attending. I was searching everywhere for a bathroom and finally I found one. I felt immense relief in my dream.

I headed into the bathroom, pulled my pants down, sat on the toilet and started to do my thang. I remember thinking in my dream, "Why does that door look like particle board?" When suddenly my consciousness kicked in and was all, "WHAT THE HELL?!" I wasn't in a bathroom! I was still in bed.

I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I made it, but just barely. But seriously a few seconds longer and I would be washing some bedsheets today. Not cool. Not cool at all!